By Emily • 2 Comments
So you’re friends with this guy…but you want more. You find yourself picturing a romantic future together, but he might not see you that way. It’s hard to move from a friend to a lover, especially if you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship. But there are some ways to try to go in that direction💑
If you like this guy a lot, chances are that you are giving a lot more of yourself in the relationship. A good way to balance ⚖ things out and have more of a chance in the future for something more is to make yourself less available, spending time away from them. I’ve realized that it can cause the other person to realize what they were missing.
It can be easy to think that the nicer you are to someone, the more likely they’ll want to date you. But if you overdo the compliments or gifts 🎁 – they’ll probably get annoyed or feel too much pressure. Try to have a balance and don’t try and force anything to happen this way.
Now, if you’re good friends with this guy, chances are you talk about almost everything. But talking about your love life or dating lives together isn’t always the best idea. I always used to think it would make a guy jealous, but it really doesn’t. I’ve found that they are more curious about me when those things are kept as a mystery. It gives them a chance to fantasize.
After giving yourself some time away to reflect (and let them miss you a little bit) it never hurts to ask the guy out. People seem to think that guys should be the one to make the first move, but not the case. Sometimes they’re clueless, and I have found that taking charge can definitely pay off. This is a bit less risky than admitting your feelings flat out, because you can play it off as casual.
It’s always good to take a look at ourselves and see how we feel. We’re talking more about our attitudes and habits than the physical here. I try to be the best version of myself possible, not only for me, but for others. My friend might not want to date me because I’m negative all the time, or because I gossip. Little things can make a big difference.
This is probably the best (if not scariest) approach, but the pay off could be worth it. Either way, telling the person how you feel is going to get a weight off your chest. The best way is to plainly state your feelings as fact, then don’t ask them how they feel. It can be a shock😱
Once you’ve admitted your feelings, don’t expect them to react right away. They may be surprised or unsure how they feel, so give them time to think 🤔 and absorb. I always try to be respectful of the other person and see things from their perspective. There’s less pressure that way.
It can be hard to get out of the friend zone, and it may not always work out, but we think it’s worth a shot. You never know what could happen! 💁 If you have any tips of your own, leave them in the comments – and good luck.