Here's How Overthinking Can Kill Your Love Life ...

By Holly • Jun 10, 2015 MD

You don't want to think too much into things. We all do it, especially when it comes to our crushes and boyfriends, but it's incredibly unhealthy. Not only will it ruin your day, but it could also ruin your relationship. If you don't believe it, here are all the ways that overthinking can kill your love life:

1. You’ll Stress Yourself out

You shouldn't spend all of your free time wondering what your boyfriend meant last week when he commented on your haircut. You shouldn't stare at your crush's newest Instagram pic and wonder who the girl he's holding onto is. It might just be his sister, so don't stress yourself out by thinking too much into small things that really don't matter.

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2. You'll Blame Him for Silly Things

If you watch his every move and examine it closely, you're going to start seeing problems that don't even exist. When he smiles at the waitress, you'll wonder if they're having an affair behind your back, when he's really just being polite to the staff to look good in front of you.

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3. You'll Have Trouble Texting

If you reread your crush's text ten times and rewrite your response twenty times, the conversation is going to get stale. Not only will he wonder what's taking you so long to respond, but writing out your message over and over will make it sound robotic. If you want the conversation to flow naturally, just stick to saying the first thing that pops into your head, like you would during a face-to-face conversation.

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4. You'll Assume You Aren't Good Enough

The most common cause of overthinking things is a lack of confidence. You'll wonder why your boyfriend is taking so long to text you, because you're worried he's out with another girl. You'll wonder why your crush called you cute instead of beautiful, because you're insecure about your looks. Overthinking will only make your insecurities worse, so try your best to avoid doing it.

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If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. You'll Read Signals That Aren't Even There

Don't assume your boyfriend wants to break up with you, because he didn't invite you out with his friends. Maybe he assumed you were busy. Maybe his friends aren't any fun and he doesn't want you to be put through a boring night. If you're worried, talk to him. Don't assume a breakup is on the horizon or you could be the one to wreck the relationship.

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6. You'll Drive Him Away

If you interrogate your boyfriend over something silly, like why he put a certain emoji next to your name in his phone, he's not going to be pleased. If you accuse him of enough ridiculous things, he won't want to be in a relationship at all. That's why you need to take a step back and ask yourself if the thing you're overthinking is really worth all the trouble.

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7. You'll Lose Time for More Important Things

Overthinking can take up a whole lot of your time. Instead of getting your paperwork done, you'll be busy thinking about the last text you received. Instead of sleeping, you'll be worried about your date the next day. When that happens, you're just going to end up unhappy.

The more you think about something, the more you'll stress yourself out. Do you tend to overthink the little things in life?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Paige

    2015-06-17T23:33:28.592Z

    This was one of my worst traits, and it cost me the man I love.
  • Ulysses

    2015-06-11T00:01:49.769Z

    But how do you stop overthinking!?
  • Happygirl

    2015-06-11T05:09:48.743Z

    How to help it? Become more aware of your thoughts and stop them just when they appear. Also, get your brain busy with other stuff, like school assignments or a new skill to learn rather than obsessing about a man. And think positively and learn to appreciate little things that do happen instead of thinking about those which HAVEN'T actually happened.
  • Maryam

    2015-06-13T22:12:46.512Z

    May b m doing this 😞
  • Anna-Marie

    2015-06-10T23:20:43.472Z

    I am a chronic worrier. I worry about everything that I don't need to, like my job, love life, family, friends, EVERYTHING!! That is just who I am I guess.
  • Rash

    2015-06-11T03:55:58.195Z

    @Sheloveslove You're funny! This post is good but can be made better..Thanks!
  • Amy

    2015-06-10T23:17:51.023Z

    I knew most of this already. The question is how do you avoid doing these things? New to being single and dating. Now I am trying to stop myself from over thinking the relationship!!
  • dija

    2015-06-11T12:38:08.525Z

    @Grayce 👏 it's the best feeling ever!
  • Stoneyrock

    2015-06-11T04:35:27.488Z

    Wish i knew how to help this.
  • Grayce

    2015-06-11T02:59:07.393Z

    This is so true. I've always overthinking things. I questioned like I'm a PI. I lost self confidence, self esteem and starting to compare myself with other women. He left me because I turned into someone I wasn't. It was a horrible experience. I'm going on a self discovery process now and it feels liberating. I'm getting back the self confidence I once lost, I let go of worries. No more overthinking or over analyzing. I feel great!
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