So, you've been hanging out with this guy and things seem to be going well, but you're starting to wonder—is he seeing me as girlfriend material or just a good time Charlie? It’s a question many of us ladies ask ourselves, and honestly, it’s a bit like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. Guys can be confusing creatures, and their decision-making process about relationships can sometimes make as much sense as trying to find Waldo in a crowd.
When it comes to figuring out how guys decide if you're girlfriend material, there are several factors they consider. First and foremost, emotional connection hits the top of the list. You could be the funniest person in the room or the most glamorous attendee at a crowded party, but if there's no deeper connection, he might just categorize you under "great hangout buddy."
Speaking of emotional connection, a crucial aspect of it includes shared values and interests. In 2024, the dating scene is more fast-paced and dynamic than ever before, with dating apps making encounters as fleeting as a Snapchat story. Guys are looking for someone who not just fits into their life easily but matches their pace and aspirations. They ask questions like, "Does she get along with my friends?" or “Can she vibe with my lifestyle?”
Another significant aspect of being perceived as girlfriend material is the level of independence you display. Believe it or not, guys find it attractive when you have your own goals and passions. A woman who is profoundly passionate about her career, hobbies, or personal development speaks volumes. It reflects a sense of self-worth and confidence that's incredibly compelling to men—yes, even the ones who might still think a "hostel" refers to a kind-hearted function and not an affordable hotel option.
Humor plays a significant role too. If you can make him laugh, half the battle is won. Have you checked out our section on " The Role of Humor in Relationships"? It covers why making him laugh can tilt the scales in your favor.
And let’s not overlook the importance of physical attraction. It’s been scientifically proven that initial physical attraction paves the way for a deeper connection. While you don’t have to be a supermodel, maintaining good grooming and hygiene can have a surprisingly significant impact. So next time you're contemplating what makes you "girlfriend material," think beyond the looks and focus more on the connection, shared values, and whether your personal goals align with his. Wondering if you could read more about looks vs. personality? Check out " Looks vs. Personality" for a deeper dive!
There you have it! From shared values to flirty laughs, it's a combination of various factors that weigh in when a guy decides whether you're someone he'd like to get more serious with. So, embrace your quirkiness, stay true to your values, and most importantly, smile!
1 A Woman Has to Love Herself
This was unanimous. If a woman clearly loves herself, not with smugness or arrogance, but with confidence and true self-love, then men – these men, at least – consider her excellent “girlfriend material.” Why? Because she knows her own worth, she doesn't depend on validation from someone else, and her love for herself suggests a deep capacity for loving others. Word.
2 A Good Relationship with Her Family Doesn't Hurt
Although this isn't a deal breaker, a woman who's close with her family – her biological one or her logical one – is definitely a bonus. Again, this suggests a capacity for loving others, as well as an ability to nurture relationships and a willingness to support the people closest to her.
3 Support Women Make Fantastic Girlfriends
This makes sense, yeah? I can't imagine anyone wants a partner who only cares about herself and takes off when things get scary or difficult. One of my friends specifically said that he looks for a ride-or-die woman to be his girlfriend because he dated women in the past who disappeared while he was going through hard times. Just remember, to get support you have to be willing to give it.
4 She Accepts Compliments
This one surprised me at first, but only because it's so specific and it seems so small. It's not, though. A woman who can accept a compliment is secure in herself. She doesn't fish for them, which suggests she doesn't need constant attention and validation, and she also doesn't come off as coy.
5 She's Forgiving but Firm about What She Wants
I think this is excellent criteria for any partner, regardless of gender. My friends appreciate a woman who knows how to forgive and doesn't hold grudges. That is, you can't say you forgive someone and then stay angry or keep bringing up the issue. At the same time, however, the guys added that they preferred a woman who doesn't falter in what she wants – so, a woman who will forgive them for making a mistake or royally messing up, but won't tolerate repeated foolishness.
6 She Doesn't Put up with Bullshit
Straight up and dirty, this was a big one. Not only do men seem to prefer a woman who won't put up with BS, they also want a woman who doesn't deliver it. A no-BS kind of woman seems to be the ticket.
7 She Loves You Even at Your Lowest
This is also a big one. They don't want a fickle woman whose affection depends on money, prestige, fame, or infamy. No one wants a partner like that.
8 She Makes Effort
No, you certainly don't need to chase after a guy like a dog after the mailman; but staying connected to him and letting him know you're thinking of him shows him that you care beyond a hookup. It shows you're having feelings for him which gets him thinking of his feelings for you.
9 She's Fun and Easy-Going
Most men don't do well with high maintenance girls. They want a girl who's laid back and relaxed. Allow him to see your goofy side; it helps build a stronger and deeper connection. He doesn't want a girlfriend who can't laugh at herself (or his jokes) and he certainly doesn't want a girlfriend that's unable to go win the flow.
10 Get to Know His Friends
This one is huge! If you can't get along with his friends-or his friends don't like you-he's probably not going to 'ship you. Show him you can hang with his boys without losing your feminine side. (Being too much "one of the guys" doesn't make a good girlfriend either). If his friends like you, they'll probably root for you.
Now, for the turnaround – what makes a guy “boyfriend material”?
