All Women's Talk

How to Tell Someone You're Not Looking for a Relationship ...

By Sici

Doesn’t it seem these days as though everyone is rushing to get into a relationship? Whether it’s because of all the #couplegoals type trends going around on the internet, or whether it’s just because you and your peers are entering in to that older, more ‘serious’ phase of life, if you are someone who isn’t feeling the call of a long-term relationship right now, it can sometimes be difficult to navigate your love life. If you like dating and just having fun with people that you meet and have a connection with, you might at some point encounter a situation where they want to take things further and you want to stay as you are. Here is how to tell someone you’re not looking for a relationship!

1 Be Honest

Honesty is always the best policy here, and quick honesty at that. It’s not really fair for you to lead on somebody who might be looking for something more than you are willing to give them. If you tell them right at the start of the connection that you are not looking for anything more than some casual fun, then you won’t have to reckon with a guilty conscious later down the line.

2 Explain Your Perspective

They might not be able to understand but it always helps if you take some time to explain your perspective and philosophy to the person. The quieter you keep, the more likely they are to think that they can ‘change your mind’, but if you put your feelings into words that they can clearly hear, then you are in a good place and everyone can be on the same page.


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3 Upfront Definition

Try to establish a definition of your situation with the person early on so they don’t harbour hopes of anything more in the future. If you in no uncertain terms tell them that this will never turn in to a long-term relationship, then they can then make their own decisions without holding out hope for something that is never going to happen.

4 No Shame

If this is how you feel, then is it how you feel. There is no point being ashamed of your attitude. In fact, if you are slightly ashamed, then that might be an indicator that your feelings about relationships aren’t quite what you proclaim them to be? If you have no problem with keeping things casual, then shame shouldn’t even come into it.

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