Because we all only human and we have any number of insecurities and worries, the prospect of being in a brand new relationship can sometimes cause undue stress and anxiety. You might be coming out of a bad old relationship, you might be out of practise, you might think you are out of their league ... it could be any number of tricks that your mind is trying to play on you! Here are five ways to overcome new relationship anxiety.
1. What if Vs. What is
Instead of focusing all of your nervous energy and attention on the ‘what if’ questions, pay more mind to the facts of the matter and ‘what is’. Thinking too much about hypothetical problems that haven’t even happened yet is a losing game, and you will be much happier if you just focus on what you actually have at the moment with your new partner.
2. Guidance Anxiety Vs. Fear
It is important to differentiate what is the natural anxiety that helps to guide you to make good and important choices, and what is the self-saboteur inside you that is trying to get out. Whilst it can be helpful to listen to that guidance anxiety, there is absolutely nothing helpful whatsoever about your inner saboteur.
3. Friend Check
If you feel like your judgement is being clouded, or you are confused from other thinking, then it is always good to turn to friends to get their advice and view on your situation. Of course, friends don’t know all of the intimacies of your new relationship, but when it comes to gut feelings about suitors for their friends, they are usually pretty spot on!
4. Favourite Things
When negative things and anxieties are starting to push in at the corners of your brain, work hard to keep your favourite things about your new partner in front and centre. Nobody is perfect, but you shouldn’t let your anxiety defeat all of the stuff that you love about them. Keeping the positive aspects at the front of your mind can be a big help.
5. Maintaining a Sense of Self
You can sometimes become overly anxious about a new relationship when you get to a stage where you have given so much of yourself and your time to the new partnership, that you have lost a sense of self and independence. You will feel much less anxious about your situation if you can find that perfect balance of having a new experience in your life whilst also keeping your true character and soul as it was before. It feels grounding.