When I came out as gay and I revealed that I had a girlfriend (now my wife!), I got asked ALL sorts of questions, from who is more butch all the way to why do I want the right to get married. If you aren't gay, you might not realize that these questions are offensive … but they are. Pay attention and be more aware!
1. To a Lesbian Couple: Are You Two Going to Adopt?
No. We both have the parts to have a baby. We might just need a 'friend' to provide the sperm.
2. Who is Going to Propose?
Best part about a same-sex couple? Either person can propose!
3. Do You Have Real Sex?
As … opposed to fantasy?
4. To a Lesbian Couple: Can We Have a Threesome?
How about no.
5. So Which One of You is Butch?
How about, both of us are equally butch. And manly. And we don't fight over who is taking out the trash.
6. Who's in Charge, the Top or the Bottom?
It's your business … how?
7. Do You Really Have … Butt Sex?
Yes. We do.
8. Why do You Need to Get Married?
How about because it's our right?
9. To a Gay Couple: do You Plan to Have Kids?
Yes. Why wouldn't we?
10. Aren't You Scared of Your Kids Being Made Fun of Being Raised by a Same-sex Couple?
Nope. The world is changing.
11. To a Lesbian Couple: What about Male Influence for Your Kids?
Our kids will be well-rounded and well-adjusted, just like yours.
12. To a Lesbian Couple: Have You Ever Had Sex with a Man?
So, so offensive.
13. Are You Scared of Turning Your Kids Gay?
This. I want this.
14. Do Your Parents Approve of Your Relationship?
Because that's your business too.
15. Is It True That You Cheat on Each Other All the Time?
Because that's a stereotype right?
16. For Bi-sexual Couples: if You Break up, Are You Going to Switch Sexes?
Maybe, maybe not.
17. For Bi-sexual Couples: since You Are Dating a Girl, Why Aren't You Labeled a Lesbian?
Because I like guys too, but right now I like this girl.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is it okay to ask about your relationship?
- Yes, but be respectful and avoid intrusive questions that assume stereotypes.
- Can I ask how you met?
- Sure! Most couples are happy to share their story when asked kindly.
- Is it rude to ask about your relationship status?
- It depends on the context; if you're unsure, let them share at their comfort level.
- Should I ask who is the 'man' or 'woman' in the relationship?
- It's best to avoid this, as it reinforces stereotypes and can be offensive.
- Can I inquire about plans for kids?
- Only if they bring it up first, as family plans are personal regardless of orientation.
- Is it okay to ask about their wedding or ceremony?
- Yes, if they've shared it publicly, but avoid prying for details if they seem private.
- Should I ask about the challenges they face as a couple?
- Let them open up if they wish; unsolicited questions can feel intrusive.
- Is it appropriate to question their sexual orientation details?
- No, personal details about orientation are private and should be respected.
- Can I ask how their families reacted to their relationship?
- Only if they're comfortable discussing it, as experiences vary widely.
- What’s the best way to support a same-sex couple?
- Treat them with the same respect and kindness you'd offer any couple.