It can’t be denied that some couples who split do get back together and some even get married and enjoy a happy life together. However, a split usually happens for a reason. To get back together it’s important that the issues that caused the breakup are recognized, brought out into the open and dealt with. However, there are more couples who split who stay split and that is for very good reasons. This is what you should think about when considering getting back with your ex.
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You Can’t Change the past
Top of the list of reasons never to get back with your ex is that you can’t change the past, no matter how much both of you are willing to try at the beginning. When the relationship starts to break down the second time around, you won’t be able to deal with it in a fresh way because your mind will take you start back to the heart-breaking events of the first time around. It will be a never-ending cycle.
You’ll Forget All the Negatives
When considering getting back together with an ex, the only things that you think about are all of the good times that you had together during the relationship, when what you should be reminding yourself of are the reasons that you broke up in the first place. A great way to look at it is that there is a reason why the windscreen is larger than the rear view mirror; you are supposed to look forward more than you look back, so move on!
You Will Be Less Forgiving
In a do-over relationship, there is much less wiggle room for both of you in terms of making mistakes and in terms of the small things that annoy you about the other person. Because you have been through it all before, these small little annoyances will not be tolerated for the same amount of time as they were before, and this will lead to a quicker loss of patience with your partner and with the relationship as a whole.
Too Big a Comfort Zone Isn’t Healthy
A new relationship always needs a few boundaries to start off with, so the fact that you are coming in to this ‘old new’ relationship means that all bets are off and the comfort zones you fell in to before will be the ones still present. The negative thing about this is that the comfort zone you were in before obviously didn’t work, otherwise you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place!
Don’t Hold up Your Life Story
All of your relationships weave together to write the story of your romantic life, so if you have already been through a chapter that wasn’t so enjoyable, why would you want to go through it again? You wouldn’t re-read a bad chapter of a book, so don’t do it with your love life. You need to make room for the next chapter to begin!
Let the Wound Heal
When it comes to revisiting an old failed relationship, you need to remember this key phrase; a wound can never heal if you keep picking at it! It might be tempting to revert to something that you already know, but you really need to let that wound heal and move on to bigger and better things.
You Deserve Better
Though it might feel like the safe option to get back with an ex, you need to start treating yourself better and come to the realization that you deserve more than a sloppy seconds attempt at something that hurt you the first time around. Go out and find the person that deserves to be with you, do not settle for something less!
Have you ever got back with an ex? How did it work out?
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