Asking out a guy can be pretty daunting, especially if you have been rejected before. But as guest contributor Meenakshi says, there could be many reasons why he probably said no...none of which directly involve you. So don't be afraid to put yourself out there and don't take rejection personally.
So recently a friend of mine asked the guy she really likes out on a date. Unfortunately he said no. It is something that all girls dread when asking out the love of their life. Everyone is scared of rejection. It's one of the most embarrassing things that a girl or a guy has to go through. But girls, it may be not you. There are so many reasons why a guy says no and most of them have nothing to do with you. Here are some reasons why he probably said no.
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Doesn't Know You
You may know him really well and know every detail about him but that may not be the same for him. You may have had a class with him in sixth grade but he just doesn't remember you. Or maybe your friend was the one that pointed him out to you rather that you knowing him personally. Either way, people would rather go out with someone they know. So don't take it personally. Take advantage of this! Make an impression, a new and better one. Get to know him. Then just see how he comes running back.
The Way You Said It
It could be the way that you asked him that got him to say no. "How could that happen?". Here let me explain. I remember when my friend finally had the guts to ask the guy she likes, she ended up getting so nervous that she told him that it was a dare that her friends told her to do. What kind of guy would say yes to that? I know I wouldn't. Maybe he wanted to say yes but didn't like the way you asked. There's a glimmer of hope! Practice asking him out in front of the mirror or with a friend so there will be no mistake when you actually go up to him and ask the big question.
Interested in Someone else
When the person you like is interested in someone else, it is kind of heart breaking. But if you think about it, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like you. It's like when you like one guy, you don't hate other guys. You just prefer that single person. So don't take it personally. Like they say, if your love wants to go, let it free. If they return then they're yours, if not they were never yours in the first place. Just like you, they can't control who they like. Like I said, he just doesn't see you that way. Don't feel rejected.
Getting asked out or asking someone out is somewhat of an intimate and cute moment. There are so many ways to make that moment awkward though. For example, asking in front of his friends: awkward. It is kind of uncomfortable to be put on the spot. But then again, another glimmer of hope! If the scenario wasn't so awkward, he probably would have said yes. Who knows? The next time you ask him or anyone else, plan out the moment as opposed to winging it.
This one kind of sounds a little dweeby and insecure for a guy but it does happen. Guys want to be able to impress a girl with their ability to woo a girl and ask her out. The male mentality works in weird ways. But hey, we have our weird ways too. Now, I know what your thinking. "How am I supposed to talk to the guys I like?". Here's a trick that I learned pretty recently. Go up to him and ask him a general, widespread question, like if you're in a book store ask him if he knows where a certain book is or pretend you're having trouble picking something up and let him be the man and do it for you (that will really get you somewhere!). But don't be creepy about it( like randomly, out-of-the-blue, asking him for the time: personal experience). Just act normal like you're not trying to pull off anything and he'll be tricked into thinking he made the first move.
Not Looking for a Relationship
There are people who are not ready for a relationship. That person you asked may be one of them. So in a way, they kind of saved you. You wouldn't want to be in a relationship where you had to do all the work because the relationship isn't something they wanted. At least they can be honest! Be respectful towards that because they are doing the right thing by giving you a legitimate reason. When a guy tells me that they are not ready for a relationship, my respect for them increases because that gives me the idea that they know exactly what they want.
Not everyone can go up to a person and have a conversation. It's not easy when the person you like isn't very out going because it makes it hard to actually get to know them. It is a hard job BUT not impossible. Start slow. Start with little waves when you guys meet eyes, then go to small hi's and hello's. Go easy on them, they are people who take their time to mesh with people. At least this way you will get to know him too. There is nothing wrong with taking a little time to get to know someone.
Whether he said yes or no, you all should be proud if you have gone up to a guy and asked him out. It takes a lot of effort to get out of your comfort zone. I have guy friends that say that they respect girls and sometimes willingly go out with girls who are confident enough to make the first move. Let's throw away those books that your mom and grandma gave you about talking to guys. Go up to them! Laugh, smile, be confident because if you want something you go after it. And even if he does reject you, be proud that you were able to do the thing that most girls fear the most.
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