There are so many reasons why you shouldn't snoop on your partner – but so many opportunities to do it and so many temptations to try. Don't. Resist. Snooping has no place in any relationship; you shouldn't snoop on your partner and your partner shouldn't snoop on you. If things are weird, however, if you're fighting a lot or your partner is acting strange, you might still be tempted. Before giving in, consider a few compelling reasons why you shouldn't snoop, take a step back, put down the phone, and stop trying to crack the Facebook or Instagram password.
1. You're Breaking the Trust
What is your relationship without trust? If you don't feel like you can trust your partner, why are you in the relationship anyway? One of the simplest, most fundamental reasons why you shouldn't snoop is because you're breaking the trust in your relationship with one bad decision. It's hard to come back from something like that, and what happens if you don't find whatever you went searching for in the first place?
2. Snooping Makes You Untrustworthy
When you snoop on your partner, you're untrustworthy. Even if you find something, you're no better than your partner, because you're keeping secrets too. And if you find nothing to assuage your suspicions, then you've just crushed the trust in your relationship for no reason.
3. 'Lest Ye Be Vexed
Besides, do you know what happens when you go looking for trouble? You find it – even if it's not really there. Go snooping through text messages or hidden posts or tweets, and you'll find something that you believe justifies your suspicions. You might misinterpret what you find, or make a mountain out of a molehill. Then what happens when you confront your partner? How do you explain your actions while demanding explanations yourself?
4. It Says More about You
Usually people snoop when they're insecure. Being insecure is neither a fault nor a sin, but giving in to the urge to spy doesn't speak well of you. Be open with your partner and reveal your fears before you take this drastic step. If there's anything going on, you can likely intuit the problem without spying; if there's not, then your partner can help with your insecurity while perhaps working on the behavior that's exacerbating your feelings in the first place.
5. Everyone Deserves Privacy
How would you feel if your partner snooped on you? Innocent or guilty, you both still deserve privacy. If your partner is talking to an old friend or even a former flame, he or she might be keeping it from you, rightly or wrongly, so you don't feel jealous, get upset, or end up with the wrong idea. There's not necessarily anything going on, and even if there is, you deserve to be told rather than ferreting out the information yourself.
6. It's a Slippery Slope
If you go snooping through your partner's text messages, email, or social media accounts and don't find anything, great. What then? If you find something that makes you skeptical but doesn't prove anything, what then? Once you've snooped the first time, it's easier to keep doing it. Soon you're just looking for reasons to spy, and then you're looking for reasons to justify your spying, which means you could make up lies or betrayals out of nothing.
7. Discussing Trumps Snooping
Talking out your feelings, suspicions, and fears is a much better option. Your partner needs to know how you feel, and if you're afraid to share or feel like you can't talk to him or her, then again, what's the point of being in the relationship anyway? You're better than this. Talk, don't spy. Have a discussion, not an espionage mission.
No relationship can thrive without trust. Everyone needs and deserves privacy, so if you suspect something, whether it's a fear that your partner is cheating or planning to leave you, do the mature thing. Bring up your fears, sit down and talk about them, and come to a resolution out in the open. Have you ever snooped on your partner – or has a partner ever snooped on you?