Who doesn't want to love and be loved in return, right? But there are stages in your life when you don't really need a boyfriend to cheer you up or make your life better. The
best plan of action is to wait. Here are the reasons why...
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1. You Just Broke up with Your Bf
You don't need another boyfriend right after you break up with the last one. Duh, pretty simple. Because that new guy will just be a rebound and a rebound situation seldom works to your advantage. Avoid getting yourself hurt all over again by jumping into another relationship after the end of a previous one.
2. You're Very Lonely
You have to dig deeper into your inner core and ask yourself if being in a relationship would be the answer to your loneliness. If you are even a little bit skeptical about it, then stop yourself from saying "yes" to a future heartbreak. You don't need a boyfriend just because you're lonely. You might end up depressed if he doesn't meet your expectations.
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3. You're in the Middle of a Huge Career Change
The magic word here is: FOCUS! Having a boyfriend will only distract you. We're not saying that you stop dating that really nice guy but wait until you've settled down with work and career commitments before jumping into yet another major decision that involves an investment of time, effort, and emotions. Take it one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed.
4. You're Traveling to Heal a Bruised Heart
Sure, Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) found the love of her life in Bali while finding herself but not everyone will be as lucky as her. When traveling to heal a bruised heart, focus on yourself first. Enrich yourself with experiences and the love that you are in dire need of. A hasty decision to be in a relationship with that cute Spanish guy you met in a club after a long night of drinking may not be the real desire of your heart. Guard your heart. It's too precious to be battered over and over again.
5. You Have Poor Grades
Special shoutout to all students out there! If you have poor grades, then work on getting better ones. Ditch the dates, please. Do yourself and your parents a favor because good grades and learning from your teachers and subjects are so much more rewarding in the long run than that obsession with the guy who plays the drums. The boys can wait. Really, they can wait and so can you.
6. Your Kids Need a Father Figure
Single moms, don't fall into the trap of getting a boyfriend because you think your children need a father figure. It will be totally unfair to the guy and to you and... to your children too! There are so many people involved in this equation that if this doesn't pan out well, there are so many broken hearts which will need to be mended. It's messy and certainly, not easy.
7. All of Your Friends Have Bfs
Let them have the times of their lives with the loves of their lives. If you're perfectly fine about being single and just going out on casual dates, then you're in a healthy state. You don't need to have a boyfriend just because each of your friends has one. Your time will come. Patience is still a virtue.
What are your thoughts about this list? Do you think these points are reasonable?
Comments
Angel502: So I just recently just got out of a long term relationship with ex boyfriend we dated for three years. And we have been best friends since the 6th grade. We are both 23 year. One it’s disrespectful to him and to myself to jump in another relationship.
Boncheri1: The points are very definitely reasonable. I am
alka: If you are lonely try making some friends before jumping into relatonships and also being lonely gives you time to explore yourself, find hobbies. My lonely period was whn I really got to know myself as a human being. One of the best experiences a person can have! Loneliness can be a positive!
DMT: Number 6. That's what my ex husband is doing. In fact, he is doing all the points listed in this article. I love being single. I have made a vow to myself to be single for the remainder of this year and possibly into the next. I don't feel ready to let another guy in to my life. I am happy to focus on myself and my son, to create a happy & healthy environment. Wish my ex husband would wake up and do the same.
Lala: Very supportive tips thank you!
Sab1: Totally agree
Dana: Very true and well written.
Belle: Im into a relationship as if my bf doesn't exist at all hahaha.. enjoy and have fun but know your limits!
Kendall: Being 13 myself and in 8th grade, when I had a boyfriend, my grades went from 4.0 to 3.6 which really matters to me. I got a C in my English class and a C in my History class. Having a boyfriend was definitely stressful. Even though he was a nerd and I am a nerd to, it was really distracting. Immediately when we broke up, my C grades raised back up. So I think I'm gonna have to wait until after college. Great post!
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