Although honesty is very important, there are some secrets in a relationship that add value, too. It is important to know what you should be open about and what you shouldn’t. There are some secrets in a relationship that can help the relationship to be a better one. Nothing can be gained by sharing certain secrets such as those that are listed below.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. You Don’t like His Mom
One of the secrets in a relationship that is best kept quiet is that you don’t like his mother. This goes for any other family member but most likely he will have a special place in his heart for his mom. Nothing good can be gained of sharing your feelings on this. Sharing this information will just cause tension between the two of you. You are better off to just try to get along with her and remember she is not someone you have to be around very often.
2. The Tiny Details of past Relationships
While it is good to share things you have gone through in your past, there is a line. It is good to be open and honest but there are some things our partner may not want to know. There are some things that they are better off not knowing. It’s better to give the overall summary of past relationships than the entire detailed story.
***
Overdisclosing about past relationships can be like walking on a tightrope—too much information, and you may inadvertently stir up jealousy or insecurity. Remember, focusing on excessively tiny details can make your partner feel as though they are being compared to a previous love, which often leads to discomfort. Consider their feelings—is a play-by-play of yesteryears' romances essential to the foundation you're building? It's usually not. Reserve such details unless they're contextually important to understanding who you are today. The emotional health of your current relationship should be the priority.
Frequently asked questions
3. That Their Quirks Irk You
Everyone has quirks. We are all individuals and have things about us that make us unique. Sometimes those things annoy others. If your guy has a quirk, it is better to just not mention it. Remember that you may have some funky habits, too.
4. How Much Something Costs
If you are sharing financial accounts, you want to have honesty but it is still sometimes good to not discuss individual little purchases. You might try having a limit that you need to talk about if you are going to spend above that amount. Then if it is below that limit, let it go unsaid. As much as your guy loves you, he may not get why you need a $15 lipstick or a $23 hair product.
5. You Don’t like His Way of Doing Things
This is another area where it is good to realize we are different. Let him be who he is and you be who you are. He may cook differently than you do or cut the grass differently than you would like. If the end result is good, ignore the process he uses. There are many other important areas of your relationship you can choose conflict in.
6. You Don’t like His Jokes
Nothing will be gained if you tell him you don’t like his jokes. Additionally, his feelings may be hurt if you do. Unless his jokes are offensive, be polite and laugh. So what if they are a little corny? Try to learn to love that part of him, too.
7. What You Share
One of the most important secrets you can keep in your relationship is what you share about the two of you to others. Your guy isn’t going to like knowing you are talking about him. It is wise to share selectivity and not share anything he wouldn’t want you to tell. Most girls enjoy sharing details of their relationship. It’s just best if he isn’t around when you do.
What are your thoughts on this subject? What do you think is best kept secret in a relationship? I am anxious to read your comments!
Comments
Samantha: I definatley agree not tell him if u don't like his parents , that will hurt him , as a guideline this article is decent , but like everything else in life , some of them are circumstantial. If disliking or disagreeing with his parents is actually taking a roll on the relationship : say something, just do so politely because it can be a sensitive subject. My significant other knows the basic outline of my past relationship and we talk about it if it's relevant , but bringing up your ex out of the blue all the time may give off the wrong signs to him.
Sugey: this article is referring to a boyfriend not a husband... obviously things will change once marriage is around the corner. the things listed are really basic and broad
Tinamarie: I tell my hubby all these things listed!!! in a relationship we should be able to tell him not keep it from him!!
Iryna: some of these are horrible...lying about how much something costs?! worst thing you can do...dont you think they might start noticing more money going out than is said..besides why bother buying pricey products if you are ashamed of spending the money....and not liking his jokes..then why are you even with him? ugh.
Alicia: What Kind of relationship is It one where you have to hide things? every time you liie to someone, you are lying to you too. Please, grow up.
sheryl: the advice was enlightening some information should not be disclosed even if you think it should take it from me I'm an honest person when it comes to my relationships but when you think it's right to be open it's wrong to the person who's receiving the information just be careful about what you choose to tell.
princess: speaking from experience...
Mj1994: This is bad advice. Deceit is never a good idea.
princess: this article is not that bad..i agreed with the fact that you have to keep a secret from your bf..but you have to keep something that you know its better off not knowing...and in the other hand you cant keep everything else to yourself..your boyfriend is with you for a reason.tell him everything and you guys will deal with it together..because if you don't youll end up feeling lonely and asking yourself question that you don't want to answer..
Virtuouswoman69: In my opinion this was good insight, of course it is all about how u look at it. I agree with not sharing the dislikes about the in laws. Relationships are supposed to evolve around learning each persons individuality. Then the potential (of many choices) come into play. And if, as a couple in a relationship can survive the trial of what both people can and are willing to work toward building a future together as one. Okay then I think it's time to hire a wedding planner! Well, that's just my opinion!
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge