If you're dating someone and you're wondering whether or not it is worth investing your time, energy and emotion, take notice of any signs he's not the one. If the guy you are dating is showing any signs he's not the one, it's best to pack it up and move on; chances are that he's not going to suddenly start changing his feelings and become your one and only.
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1. You Feel Judged
One of the biggest signs he's not the one is that you feel like you are being judged. If you feel like you can't be yourself or if you feel like he's judging you when you are being yourself, it's a safe bet that he's not the one. The right guy won't ever judge you.
2. No Emotion
Well, this one is pretty obvious. If he isn't showing any emotion, or any real emotion, after dating for several weeks - or even months - chances are pretty good that he isn't the one. If the guy you are dating is actually into you, he will certainly have some sort of emotion. He may not say "I love you" right away, but he will surely let you know he has strong feelings for you with some sort of emotion.
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3. You're Not a Priority
If he is always going out without checking in with you, or if he constantly makes plans with you and then breaks them to do something else, you are not his priority. If you aren't his priority, it's a safe bet that he isn't the one.
4. You Can't Communicate with Him
Communication is one of the basic foundations of a successful relationship. If you find it difficult to communicate with him, regarding issues, your feelings, or even just everyday events, then you can probably safely say that he isn't the one.
5. You Don't Trust Him
Trust is the number one essential ingredient for a successful relationship. If you don't trust what the guy you are dating tells you, you don't trust where he has been and you just don't trust anything he does, then you shouldn't be considering packing your bags; you should be doing so while you are reading this.
6. He Lies
Have you ever caught your guy in a lie? I'm not talking about a little white lie regarding an outfit you're wearing so that you can actually get somewhere at home either; I'm talking about a real, true hurtful and harmful lie. If your guy has lied about where he has been, where he is going and who has been hanging out with - or anything else as serious as this - you need to ditch him because he isn't the one.
7. He Isn't Investing
You can't be the only one making an effort in your relationship; and you can't be giving more than he is. If you feel like it's a 60-40, a 70-30 or a 90-10 investment (your investment being the higher number), you need to walk away. A successful relationship requires a 50-50 investment, and the right guy will want to make that kind of investment.
8. Not Affectionate
Being affectionate in a relationship is something that you need to have. Closeness is so important in a relationship and you lose that when you aren't affectionate with each other, especially in private.
9. Huge Distance
When you can feel the chill in the room when your partner walks into it, that's a problem. When you keep things in the surface instead of digging deeper, it's time for you to pack because there has to be a reason for the distance.
10. No Future Talk
When you've been with your partner for a while, you always talk about the next step. Maybe your partner is not thinking you are his next step -- have you thought of that? If there is no future talk on his end, no matter how many times you've tried, it's time to go!
11. Lack of Sex
Finally, the lack of sex can be something that can really cause a lot of problems in a relationship. A relationship that is filled with passion -- should also be filled with sex. If you are seeing a huge dip or even a lack of sex all together, it might be because he isn't into having it with you.
Dating can be tough. However, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you should stick it out because you are afraid of being alone; if the guy you are seeing is showing any of these signs, it's best to pack up and move on. What's your stance on this?
This article was written in collaboration with editor Heather Jensen.
Comments
Ciarra: 1-11 hit home
Ruby: This came in the right time. I was wondering if my break up was a mistake. A friend told me to not settle for less and I'm hanging on to this!
Maremi: I think I should move on! I'm not his prio1, like never! And I do not trust him! �
Jose: 11 signs his not the one on question 3 your not his priority , is not that your not his priority is just that if your nice to him like a worm welcome always asking if he wants something to eat or thrink all this things and more bilds up and then your goin to be his ppriority . And onother thing im a man sometimes a dick thats what my girl says and no im not gay . Is just that 11 signs his not the one is not certain
hey: I agree Nicky, but I think the important thing about this article is about making the right choices to build a true happiness, even if before moving away we already feel regrets. As life is short, choices must be done ...
Nicky: Interesting! And I agree but I also take into consideration that everyone is different and different things work differently for everyone and maybe that person has to stay with that person for reasons that don't make sense to everyone but it's the right thing for him or her and then later if it is not then they can leave. But sometimes love won't allow you to just pick up and leave even if you know it's something you must do. Sometimes you have to love and be where your heart loves.
PaNor: Well....this hits home. Been with a guy now 5 years. We started fantastic. I thought then he was the one. 3 months later I found out he had a girlfriend. He told me that it was over for their relationship and he was leaving. I stayed for that reason. He finally did a few months after. Since then, its been a lot of lies, deceit, alcohol abuse. I became less of a priority. There was no care that he would lie to me over and over; no care that he knew it would hurt me. To him lieing became like a normal thing. So of course I would catch him and he would blame me somehow for why he chose to lie. Such as if I didn't freak out he would tell me the truth. I left him many times and he would always promise to not do it again...well guess what. He is still at it. Our sex life isn't one anymore. He shows no desire to be affectionate to me nor say affectionate things. I don't know why I hold on......He is most of these but except the part about the future. I guess maybe its because he found in me someone to put up with it all. He has an alcohol addiction and thinks there is nothing wrong with keeping another alcoholic as a friend. I try to tell him its not helping him having him in his life and if he is wanting to work on his addiction then he needs to stay away from that other alcoholic and put into fixing his problem. He lies to me about seeing him behind my back. Its all just one be lie...I don't trust him. I find things out and I don't think I can ever trust him.
Kresta: I never had a boyfriend so i don't know how to act like one exactly. Anyway, this military guy is like a heaven-sent to me. He's now been deployed to middle east. We've been talking a lot almost everyday for a month then suddenly i can hardly talk to him anymore. I don't know if he wants me to wait for him or what?
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