First dates are nerve-wracking, and we're not always at our best, so you usually need a few dates to be able to give someone a fair chance. But should you ever say 'No thanks' to a second date? Is it ever that clear that someone doesn't deserve a second date? If you know for sure on the first date that this is not the kind of guy you want to see again, then yes - and here are some signs that you shouldn't go on a second date with him …
A guy who is rude to wait staff - or indeed to anyone - emphatically does not deserve a second date. Manners cost nothing, and are the sign of a thoughtful, decent person. If your date is rude to the person serving you, can you expect to be treated with respect yourself?
I was somewhat taken aback once to be asked on a first date 'Have you ever had a threesome?' Not the kind of question you ask someone when you first meet them, I thought. Needless to say, it was pretty clear that this guy only had one thing on his mind … and neither of us were interested in having date no. 2.
It's astonishing how many people spend their first date moaning about their ex. If your date does this, it's a sure sign that he's not over it - and he's probably also the type of guy who loves blaming other people. It couldn't possibly be his fault that the relationship broke up!
If you find yourself on a date with a guy who's sexist and chauvinistic, make your excuses and leave. It won't get any better. Unless you love the idea of being a Stepford Wife, walk away - this guy doesn't respect women or have any appreciation that we're now in the 21st century and women are equal to men.
Another bad sign is if he only ever talks about himself and doesn't ask any questions about your life or interests. He's so egotistical and self-centered that he's not interested in you and doesn't care about your opinions. They couldn't possibly be as fascinating as himself. And who wants to be a minor part of someone else's life?
In the modern world it's only fair that women pay their way; we shouldn't expect guys to pick up the bill every time. But if when you offer to split the bill, he works out how much you owe down to the very last cent, you're dealing with someone who could be mean with money. That won't make for a very comfortable future …
Finally, if you feel certain that there's absolutely no spark, and no chance of this developing into a relationship, there's not really any point going on a second date. Maybe you can see each other as friends, but otherwise you should just decline a second date - why waste anyone's time?
Generally people deserve a second date if you've got on well. But sometimes it's a definite no …
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