Top Signs You've Been Single Way Too Long ...

What sex life? If sex life were a required box to tick on a job application form, you would be writing in a bit fat N/A.

You find yourself not being happy for your loved up friends anymore, but just super bitter in an unattractive, Miss Havisham kind of way!

Your mom used to pester you all the time about finding a nice man to settle down with, but it’s now got to the point where she doesn’t even bring your love life up anymore.

You know you’ve been single for too long when you say things like “the only guy that I can depend on to love me is my Dad!” Honey, you’re 25. Let’s try to move on and make some new connections!

Whenever a guy looks at you from across a room, instead of thinking that he might be interested in you, you automatically assume that you have something terrible on your face!

You have definitely been single for too long when you find yourself turning down dates because you’d rather stay at home on the couch watching Netflix. You’ve become too comfortable with your routine!

While all your friends are swiping left and right on Tinder, you prefer to swipe left and right on the IKEA app. The idea of a new lamp is more attractive to you than a new boyfriend.

You’ve only just learnt what this new phrase means, and you cannot imagine having to tear your eyes away from Orange Is The New Black long enough to get any loving business done!

You have found that you use the same single wine glass over and over again in the evenings because you can’t remember the last time you had to get two out of the cabinet.

You are perfectly content with pretending to be married to any one of the hot protagonists from your favorite TV shows. They never let you down, are always on time, and you never argue!

You’ve taken to cuddling your favourite pillow at night because you can’t remember the last time you had an actual person to spoon with.

You have actually found yourself searching online about the fine details of sperm banks and adoption, simply because you have given up on the middle part from dating to motherhood!

Your BFF has essentially replaced a boyfriend and plays that role just fine. You wear their clothes, you cook them dinner ... basically everything except the sex part!

One of the key signs you’ve been single for too long is that you literally cannot remember the last time you used a razor. Maybe once a month if you fancy it, but without a valid reason to rid yourself of your body hair, you let it grow grow grow!

You find yourself buying men’s shirts at the store because let’s be real, having your own is the only way you are going to be able to smell and nuzzle them like you used to!

You automatically think you’re pregnant every single time you hook up with someone because you have forgotten the way that your body works!

You took up the lease on that nice studio apartment because you can’t imagine why you would need more room than just for yourself.

You have forgotten what it is like to sleep in the bed with another person, so you starfish to your heart’s content!

Here you are, 2 years later, still trying to get over the break up when all of a sudden you see the dreaded announcement on Facebook. Killer!

Are you ready to get up off your lazy ass and get back out into the dating game?