If “I love you” are the three most important words in a relationship, “we need to talk” are probably the four most dreaded. As soon as you hear them or see them in a message, your mind goes into overdrive. You spend the time between hearing them and the actual conversation biting your nails, chewing your lip, totally preoccupied by what “we need to talk” about. Here are some of the thoughts that will go through your head.
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dumped maybe not out of his league future visions my fault? facebook ex conversations deleted sex thing adventurous handcuffs someone else is it her? status change something good whoa deluded killer here we go boyfriend you 1 Dumped Well, that’s it. He must have finally had enough of me, I’m definitely about to get dumped. I can feel it in my waters! 2 Maybe Not Actually, why the hell would he dump me? I’m the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to him! How dare he even consider it! 3 Out of His League Like, he has even said a million times that I am out of his league and he is lucky to have me, so why would he ruin all of that by breaking up with me now? 4 Future Visions Oh my god. Laura’s boyfriend dumped her six months ago and now she is 20 pounds heavier and rarely leaves the house. Is that going to be me? 5 My Fault? What have I done wrong? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? I don’t remember upsetting him in any way! 6 Facebook Uh oh, maybe he saw those pictures of me from Spring Break ’09 and wants a few explanations about some of the more risqué photos that were taken! 7 Ex Conversations Or maybe he came across some wall posts that were shared between me and my ex a while back. We were just being friendly and civil; nothing to get worried about! 8 Deleted I knew I should have deleted and blocked my ex from Facebook. Nothing good was ever going to come of getting back in touch with him! 9 Sex Thing Oh, wait, is it a sex thing? Does he want to talk about maybe spicing things up in the bedroom department? 10 Adventurous Does he think I’m not that adventurous then? I’m totally down to be adventurous; he has just never brought it up before! 11 Handcuffs I mean, we used handcuffs that one time, what more does he want? Some weird 50 Shades of Grey action!? 12 Someone else Oh my god, is there someone else? Has he met someone else and wants to tell me about it? 13 Is It Her? It better not be that girl on Instagram who I have seen him liking photos of. She’s not even prettier than me! 14 Status Change Oh no, I can’t bear the thought of having to change my Facebook status to single and get all those messages from people who love gossip! 15 Something Good Wait, could it be something good? It might be something good! HE MIGHT ASK ME TO MARRY HIM! 16 Whoa But whoa, wait, what if he does propose? Am I ready for that? Is that something I want right now? 17 Deluded Come on, who I am I kidding? I am dumped; I am so totally dumped it’s not even funny. 18 Killer I’m going to make sure that I look absolutely amazing when we meet up. That way he’ll be so distracted by my beauty that he’ll forget what he was going to say. 19 Here We Go Okay, here we go, let’s get this over with! 20 Boyfriend “Hey babe, I wanted to asked you ... do you think I should get my hair cut a little bit shorter?” 21 You Are….you….actually….kidding….ME!!!!??
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