Independence is tricky in relationships. The two don’t exactly go hand in hand, if you know what I mean. Sure, independence can be found in relationships, and that’s healthy, but you can’t be completely independent when you’re in a relationship. That makes dating so difficult for people who are smarter and more independent. If you have trouble finding love, you have a new excuse-you’re too smart for it! Ha! I kid, I kid, but seriously, this article inspired by an Elite Daily article will definitely help you feel a little better about your current situation!
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1. Independence is Valued Higher
For a lot of independent people, independence is just much more important than any relationship could be. The thought of giving up your independence just to spend most of your time with another person is just not something an independent person is always willing to do. For a lot of people, independence is just valued higher, and that’s absolutely okay.
2. Standards Become High
Smart people know that they should never be the smartest person in the room. You want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you at all time, which can make dating difficult. You’re not willing to settle for just anyone, you want to find someone who’s an intellectual match as well as someone who’s compatible, and that can be tricky!
3. It’s Not Cut and Dry
Most smart people view things very analytically. That can make relationships difficult. There’s no simple solution to a relationship like there is for a math problem, and there’s definitely no guidebook. That can make being in a relationship incredibly difficult for smart and independent people.
4. You like to Analyze
Being in a relationship can be so difficult for people who love analyzing things. If you’re someone who loves to analyze things, you’ve probably noticed that you spend a lot of time analyzing how things are going in your relationship, or something your significant other said to you. You may just notice that you’ve started to analyze your relationship more than you’re enjoying it, and that’s when things get tricky.
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. You’re a Little Bit of a Perfectionist
People who have been told that they’re smart their whole lives tend to be perfectionists. When you’re constantly being told that you’re at a certain level of intelligence, you’re always trying to keep that standard up. That can seep its way into your love life, unfortunately. If you’re single and can’t figure out why, it may just be because you’re always striving for perfection!
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6. You Don’t Want to Appear Less Independent
You may be used to being known as the girl who’s always on her own and doesn’t need anyone else. That can be tricky when you want to get into a relationship. You probably don’t want to give up that image you’ve created for yourself, because you love being known as the independent girl, and that can make finding love so hard.
7. It’s Not a Priority
At the end of the day, if you’re smart and independent, finding love is probably just not a priority for where your headspace is. That can be sad and upsetting, but don’t worry, because one day finding love will be a priority, and you’ll learn how to rework your life to fit the perfect person into it!
Are you smart and independent? Have you found that it’s pretty difficult to find love? Tell me your story in the comments!
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Comments
Electric: Definitely something I can agree with! It becomes a challenge, not meeting the guy, but staying mentally stimulated. But I have to agree, it is a give and take
KIM: Naturally because you can fend off for yourself, the guy will assume you don't really need him.
Élaine: " Story of My life " Lol Between Work and school I barely have time to do anything else. Especially when Midterms & Finals come around!!
J: I mean if you're independent and don't have time for relationships or can never find a relationship that works, stop trying so hard be yourself and find someone that accepts everything about you
MakeUpFiend88: What @Élaine said! Same here
Jassem: This article accurately highlights me
Livebeauty: I can be very indepent, but i also have the ability to not be too " independent" when in a relationship.. I know its important to meet each other and spend time together to maintain a relationship. I like this guy and he likes me back but im in senior year and he is in a grade below, i have final exams in like half a year, and i am supposed to know the entire syllabus for six subjects for this two year course im doing. He is a grade below me and he has less schoolstress to deal with than me, so idk if i shuld get in a relationship cuz idk if i hve time or if its rlly just in my head and tht i shuld actually make time. Its rlly confusing and i keep thinking abt it, like daydreaming abt him and everything and it disturbs my productivity for schoolwork.. Idk wht to do
Hayden: Super accurate. Ironically enough after years of all of these things mentioned in the article the perfect man for me came along. Intelligent, strong, loving, and enjoys my independent side. The good ones are out there independent women!
Dianisv: Im a perfectionist, and that has led me to the point of... Will i ever meet the guy? Or is it me who is putting to many barriers?
polarbearsoat: I actually read the article a few months ago and it proved to be very accurate...as a small-town girl girl, there aren't many choices when I comes to relationships and when you find yourself pondering if any of them would benefit you, it's hard. Being independent is also a fatal flaw in female heroes like us. It helps us not to get hurt but it's hard when trying to connect emotionally with others. Luckily, I found somebody who is exactly like me. The only problem is that we can't share our feelings because neither one of us knows how. Any advice? Keep shining strong, ladies!!
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