The Smarter and More Independent You Are the Harder It is to Find Love ...

The Smarter and More Independent You Are the Harder It is to Find Love ...
By Teresa • Jan 9, 2021

Independence is tricky in relationships. The two don’t exactly go hand in hand, if you know what I mean. Sure, independence can be found in relationships, and that’s healthy, but you can’t be completely independent when you’re in a relationship. That makes dating so difficult for people who are smarter and more independent. If you have trouble finding love, you have a new excuse-you’re too smart for it! Ha! I kid, I kid, but seriously, this article inspired by an Elite Daily article will definitely help you feel a little better about your current situation!

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1. Independence is Valued Higher

For a lot of independent people, independence is just much more important than any relationship could be. The thought of giving up your independence just to spend most of your time with another person is just not something an independent person is always willing to do. For a lot of people, independence is just valued higher, and that’s absolutely okay.

2. Standards Become High

Smart people know that they should never be the smartest person in the room. You want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you at all time, which can make dating difficult. You’re not willing to settle for just anyone, you want to find someone who’s an intellectual match as well as someone who’s compatible, and that can be tricky!

3. It’s Not Cut and Dry

Most smart people view things very analytically. That can make relationships difficult. There’s no simple solution to a relationship like there is for a math problem, and there’s definitely no guidebook. That can make being in a relationship incredibly difficult for smart and independent people.

4. You like to Analyze

Being in a relationship can be so difficult for people who love analyzing things. If you’re someone who loves to analyze things, you’ve probably noticed that you spend a lot of time analyzing how things are going in your relationship, or something your significant other said to you. You may just notice that you’ve started to analyze your relationship more than you’re enjoying it, and that’s when things get tricky.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. You’re a Little Bit of a Perfectionist

People who have been told that they’re smart their whole lives tend to be perfectionists. When you’re constantly being told that you’re at a certain level of intelligence, you’re always trying to keep that standard up. That can seep its way into your love life, unfortunately. If you’re single and can’t figure out why, it may just be because you’re always striving for perfection!

6. You Don’t Want to Appear Less Independent

You may be used to being known as the girl who’s always on her own and doesn’t need anyone else. That can be tricky when you want to get into a relationship. You probably don’t want to give up that image you’ve created for yourself, because you love being known as the independent girl, and that can make finding love so hard.

7. It’s Not a Priority

At the end of the day, if you’re smart and independent, finding love is probably just not a priority for where your headspace is. That can be sad and upsetting, but don’t worry, because one day finding love will be a priority, and you’ll learn how to rework your life to fit the perfect person into it!

Are you smart and independent? Have you found that it’s pretty difficult to find love? Tell me your story in the comments!

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • KissKiss2015

    2015-12-06T23:43:54.589Z

    I can definitely relate to this article. One of my aunts actually told me to "dumb down." I'm going to remain true to who I am: smart and independent.
  • J

    2015-12-06T23:43:09.835Z

    I mean if you're independent and don't have time for relationships or can never find a relationship that works, stop trying so hard be yourself and find someone that accepts everything about you
  • Élaine

    2015-12-06T22:39:36.508Z

    " Story of My life " Lol Between Work and school I barely have time to do anything else. Especially when Midterms & Finals come around!!
  • Electric

    2015-12-06T22:49:47.560Z

    Definitely something I can agree with! It becomes a challenge, not meeting the guy, but staying mentally stimulated. But I have to agree, it is a give and take
  • Hayden

    2015-12-09T04:34:57.374Z

    Super accurate. Ironically enough after years of all of these things mentioned in the article the perfect man for me came along. Intelligent, strong, loving, and enjoys my independent side. The good ones are out there independent women!
  • Viki

    2015-12-06T22:47:50.594Z

    Yes i was like that...but eventually i met my love now i have baby boy and the priority in life suddenly have changed 😊
  • Dianisv

    2015-12-10T11:56:43.661Z

    Im a perfectionist, and that has led me to the point of... Will i ever meet the guy? Or is it me who is putting to many barriers?
  • Syarifah

    2016-02-05T06:46:14.191Z

    No wonder it is hard for me to being in love and trust guys
  • Alex_2k13

    2015-12-24T23:58:11.891Z

    As I'm a perfectionist and have high expectations I have shaped and analysed a certain situation in my head which seems like the be all and end all. But I feel I can't settle for anything less as that would be lowering my standards and changing who I am. The main thing that I dispose about women who don't prioritise relationships is when people ask if you are a lesbian. Despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian at all, apart from when you're not. I find it offensive when people make assumptions about me and come to a conclusion based on minor details. For a long long time I believed the reason I had never had a relationship with boys in that was was because I was undesirable and unattractive, this outlook has luckily improved for the better from my behalf, but I have now realised that my high expectations are part of the problem. Still to this day I have never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy, forever waiting for it to happen, but making sure it doesn't become my main priority in life.
  • Splashhhh

    2015-12-07T08:10:56.516Z

    Really??
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