People always talk about how amazing and life-changing a first love is, but there is hardly any talk of the inevitable first breakup! Unless you are super lucky and find your soul mate the first time around, you are going to have to go through the heartbreak of a first breakup, and that can feel just as low and the romance felt high! There’s so much advice online about how to enter in to and handle a first love, but hardly anything that takes you through the other side of the honeymoon period. Here are seven things that no one tells you about your first break up!
Just because you have recognised that it is time to move on, it doesn’t mean that the caring tap is going to be switched straight off. There will be a period of time when you still care very deeply about your ex, but you need to be mature about the situation and see that that care doesn’t outweigh the negatives that hounded the end of the relationship.
It also doesn’t mean that you are never going to see them again. Not all breakups have to result in the person completely disappearing from your life. You might find that you remain close as friends rather than lovers, and that is totally fine if it ends up happening for you.
It is always best to wait until you are calm and serene before making the decision to instigate your first break up. The last thing you want is for your judgment or your temper to cloud the situation. The calmer you are when you get the ball rolling, the more pain-free and mature the break up will be.
Timing really matters, especially when neither of you have been through a break up before. Avoid dumping them at a time when they are going to be reminded of the event again and again, like a birthday or an anniversary for example! Unless the relationship has become dangerous and you have no time to wait, try to leave it to a considerate moment.
When this relationship is the only one you have ever know, your mind will do its best to try to talk you out of breaking up. Try not to listen to that voice, because if you didn’t want to break up, you wouldn’t have got to this stage of thinking anyway.
First relationships tend to take up all of your energy and time, so be prepared for your routine to be changed drastically after the breakup. Don’t take this as a sign to get back with them for security and comfort, it just means that you need to work hard to establish a new routine for this next stage of your life.
If there is any kind of inkling that you might have made a mistake and want to get back together, you owe it to yourself to think long and hard about it before making any big decisions. There is always going to be the baggage of having broken up once before, do you think you could deal with that being brought up every time you have an argument?