In the case of sex, practice does not make perfect; it just makes you slightly better. Having great sex is more about how quickly you learn rather than how many partners you have accumulated. Here are a few tips to help ensure you have great sex.
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1. Take It Slowly and Enjoy the Moment
You are not a teen anymore, so do not have sex like one. Your partner is not going to suddenly change his or her mind. What is happening is happening, so take your time and enjoy every bit of it. Orgasm is not a goal that needs to be raced towards, it is simply the splash at the end of the waterfall. Just make sure you enjoy the rapids before you take the plunge.
2. Stay in Control of Yourself
This applies mostly to men, as women can sense when a man is in control. Take your time before penetration, and tease her a little. Make her think you are going to give her all of it, and then pull out a little and make shallow thrusts. When she becomes frustrated and tries to pull you into her then tease her a little more.
This game of push and pull heightens the anticipation, making the eventual deep engagement more intense and pleasurable. But remember, teasing is a dance that requires mutual desire and consent; it's crucial to stay attuned to her reactions and proceed with sensitivity. The key is to be playful and confident, not to frustrate or disrespect. Your control is not about exerting power, but rather about creating an exciting rhythm that keeps both partners on the edge of bliss.
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3. It is More like Dancing
Men and women take tips from online and then act them out like robots, but this is the wrong mindset to have. Think of it more like dancing. Sure, you know a few fancy moves, but you do not do them all robotically when you are dancing. You keep them in mind until the time is right, then you bust a move and thrill your partner.
The same is true of changing positions. Do not keep instructing your partner all the time. Think of it like dancing and you will find that most positions occur naturally. Although, do tell your partner if you want to change positions because you are tired.
When you're swept up in the rhythm, the steps just seem to flow. It's important to stay attuned to each other's cues and the beat of your shared connection. Like a dance, it's all about the give and take—the gentle push and pull that guides you both into the next move. With this mindset, you're not following a script; you're co-creating a dynamic performance that's unique to the two of you. This approach not only makes for a smoother transition between movements but also amplifies the excitement and intimacy of your encounter.
4. Men - You Cannot Force Her to Be Turned on
Movies such as American Pie have led men to think that a woman has buttons that can be pressed and that they will make a woman turned on. This is not true, as getting a woman turned on is more about feelings and emotions than it is for men, where a light breeze will turn them on. You have to find out what gets her going by experimenting a little (in a nice way).
5. Women - if You Are Not Part of the Solution You Are Part of the Problem
If he has trouble getting you off, then give him advice and mold him into your perfect lover. Do not forget that you need to be as active as him in bed and that if you are just laying there then why should he be anything other than selfish. Also, if you know he has trouble holding on, then move into positions that make it easier for him to hold on, such as reverse cowgirl.
But, do remember that as you get closer then it is going to be harder for him to hold on because it starts to feel great inside there. So, if you know you are heading for the finish line then make sure you get all the way there, preferably together.