If you aren't moving on from a broken relationship, you might be making it harder for yourself because there are ways of thinking that prevent you from getting over your ex.
Romantic breakups are something that we all have to go through in life unless we are one of the lucky few who manages to get it right the very first time around! The more breakups you go through during your life, the more ex-partners you rack up along the way, and it would be fair to say that some are easier to get over than others. If you are someone who seems to be getting hung up on that one particular ex, it doesn’t even have to be your most recent ex, then these pieces of advice might be good for you. Here are three ways of thinking that prevent you from getting over an ex. Try to recognise them and work to change them!
A lot of people keep themselves stuck in an old relationship headspace because they believed that the person they were with was their soul mate. If you believe in that sort of thing, it can be difficult to accept that you might need to find somebody else. On the positive side of things, you could also see the situation as affirmation that you have experienced some good times with somebody who didn’t turn out to be your soul mate, therefore it should make you even more excited to go out looking for the person that really is ‘the one’.
Very often, a person can get hung up on a particular past relationship because they harbour a lot of guilt about the way that things ended. Sometimes this is false projection, and sometimes this might actually be true. What you need to remember is that the past is the past. Is your ex still stuck in the past too? If not, then it’s a clear sign that what you have guilt over hasn’t made the same impact on the other side, and you can feel freer to move on with your life knowing that you didn’t cause as much damage or heartache as your mind is trying to tell you that you did.
People that like to subscribe to the ‘love conquers all’ type mentality are setting themselves up for failure, because it means that you are very likely to spend a lot of time thinking about the positives that you shared with your ex rather than the numerous negatives that eventually lead to the end of the relationship in the first place. Those who like to believe that love conquers all tend to find themselves obsessing over exes and trying to see through obvious flaws in order to grab even the tiniest hope of romance. For the sake of your mental health and your self-respect, you need to change this attitude. Love can’t conquer glaring bad parts of a relationship that was always doomed to fail.
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