All Women's Talk

7 Tips for when Your Boyfriend is Jealous of Your Guy Friends ...

By Alison

Life can be very awkward when your boyfriend is jealous of your guy friends. You know that you don't have any romantic interest in your friends, but men tend to see other men as a threat. So how can you keep your friendships without losing your relationship? Here are some tips on handling the situation when your boyfriend is jealous of your guy friends …

Table of contents:

  1. Reassure him
  2. Don't lose your friendships
  3. Considerate
  4. Keep him informed
  5. Respect his limits
  6. Group activities
  7. When to let go

1 Reassure Him

When your boyfriend is jealous of your guy friends, try to reassure him. He may just be feeling a little insecure, especially if you've known your friends longer than you've been seeing him. Let him know that although your male friends are important, you have no interest in taking the friendship further. He is the one that you are with.

2 Don't Lose Your Friendships

It's also important not to neglect your friendships or lose them altogether. Have you ever had a friend who never bothers with you when she has a boyfriend, then expects to pick up again as soon she breaks up with him? You wouldn't want someone to do that to you, so you shouldn't neglect or risk friendships that you value, just because of the guy you're dating.

3 Considerate

Be considerate of your boyfriend's feelings. There may be a simple reason why he feels jealous of your guy friends. He may feel uncomfortable that your friends have been in your life longer than he has. As long as he's not being controlling, do what you can to avoid making him feel uncomfortable.

4 Keep Him Informed

It would be considerate to let your boyfriend know when you're meeting up with your guy friends. Keeping it out in the open shows that you have nothing to hide. This will be reassuring for him and allow him to relax about you having male friends.

5 Respect His Limits

Your boyfriend may simply need to negotiate simple rules to make him feel more uncomfortable. Ask him what would make him feel ok about your friends. Does he want to be included in activities, or would he prefer that you didn't stay in their home overnight? Discuss between you what is reasonable, and what would help out his mind at ease.

6 Group Activities

It may be best to see your guy friends for group activities, whether your boyfriend is included or not. This will show that your male friends are part of your circle and that you don't have a special intimacy with them. Also be wary of showing your friends too much affection in front of your boyfriend - it may be uncomfortable for him to see.

7 When to Let Go

If he's irrationally jealous to the extent of keeping tabs on you and demanding to know where you are at all times, walk away from the relationship. There needs to be trust in a relationship; if he doesn't trust you then he doesn't respect you. A guy who is that jealous will end up trying to control you - and that is not a life that you want to lead.

You shouldn't abandon your friendships with men just because your boyfriend doesn't like it. You have the right to your own friendships, and nobody should dictate to you who you can be friends with. But you should be sensitive to how your boyfriend feels, as long as his feelings are reasonable. Would you dump your boyfriend or your friend if there were issues of jealousy?

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