One of the roughest times after a breakup is when your ex moves on. You probably felt a bit of nausea along with deep sadness when you discovered that he has found a new love interest. If you are feeling that way, I’m going to give you a few tips that can help you cope with the painful storm of emotions when your ex moves on.
1. Accept Your Feelings
It’s normal to feel a combination of anger, confusion, jealousy, anxiety, depression and even rejection when your ex moves on. It doesn't help to fight these emotions, so just allow yourself to feel them. Realize that this is just a part of healing in the breakup process. These feelings won’t last forever so ride them out and they will pass.
2. Avoid Cyber Stalking
Oh I know it’s very tempting to hit Facebook or other social networking sites to find any information on the girl that has stolen your ex’s heart. But what good is it going to do? Once you find her profile, questions will instantly swirl through your mind like: What does he see in her? What does she have that you don’t? Are you better than her or is she better than you? Don’t do this to yourself. Instead of hunting her down on social networks and emotionally torturing yourself with those kinds of questions, go out and do something that makes you happy.
3. Concentrate on You
Chances are if it was your ex that initiated the breakup and you are still in love with him, you focused on ways to get him back after the relationship ended. However, if he’s with someone new, you have to change the focus from him and the old relationship towards you. At this point in time, he’s obviously not interested in reconciliation because he’s busy in a new relationship. So instead of wasting thoughts on him and his new girl, start focusing on you.
4. Reasons for Breaking up
Create a list of all the reasons that your ex was not the right guy for you. Write down all the things you hated about being in that relationship as well. For example, write things like he has no fashion sense, he has too many female friends, he gets angry easily, he chews too loudly, you hate his favorite band, he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. See? Any reason is fair game when you make your list; therefore, you should put everything you can think of on it. Once completed, tape this list somewhere that you can easily see it like on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator door or to your alarm clock. Seeing this list everyday will help reinforce your decision that this guy should stay in your past and help you look towards the future to someone way more awesome and better suited for you.
5. No Confrontations
If you and your ex had been together a long time, it's hard to understand how he can move on so quickly after the relationship ended. It is gut-wrenchingly painful to know that some other girl is filling the place you held in his life and they are making new memories together. Although you might be tempted to confront him because you wonder if he ever loved you since he moved on so quickly, it's one of the worst things you can do. Instead of confronting him, cut ties with him so you aren't stuck in relationship limbo waiting for him to end things with her.
6. When Panic Sets in
If you were hoping for reconciliation, you might feel a sense of panic when you first hear the disappointing news. This anxious, panicky feeling occurs because you think you have lost him forever to another woman. But the reality is there is no way to know if his new relationship will work out, so don’t let panic get the best of you. Don’t contact him to convince him that the two of you belong together because it will make you look desperate and only push him away.
7. Distract Yourself when Necessary
It’s common to have recurring thoughts of the new couple. You picture him doing all the things with her that the two of you used to do together. These thoughts are like vicious psychological daggers to the heart that reopen the breakup wound. The only way to overcome them is to distract yourself with things like listening to music, reading a book, learning a new hobby, going to the gym or watching a movie. The goal is to find fun distractions so your mind doesn't focus so much on your ex and his new relationship.
It’s going to take time to work through the emotions that hit you after you discover your ex has found a new love, but eventually you will get past this phase in a breakup. Do you have other tips you can share that helped you deal with your feelings after learning your ex moved on?