7 Tips on What to do if You're Attracted to a Married Man ...

By Jelena

7 Tips on What to do if You're Attracted to a Married Man ...

Being attracted to a married man can become a serious problem, give you a bad rep and, in the case your crush happens to be your boss or a colleague, even wreak havoc on your career. I might sound like an old, pious married lady but, trust me, karma is a b-word and relationships like these are actually fun for a very short time but could mess up your life in more ways than one. Feeling attracted to a married man isn’t the end of the world, of course, but that’s as far as I’d advise you to go. And in case you’re currently panicking and wondering what to do, here are some tips to help you rationalize your situation:

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1

Don’t over-Dramatize the Situation

Attraction is a natural thing and, yes, it is quite possible to feel attracted to a married man, a famous man or pretty much any attractive man even if you yourself are married. It’s hardly the stuff fairy tales are made of and you should not try to turn it into a Romeo and Juliet kind of forbidden love. Take it for what it is – a passing attraction that’ll keep your thoughts busy until the next eligible bachelor comes along. And, speaking of eligible men – go out, date, have fun! An unattached, totally fabulous man might be waiting for you right around the corner!

UPD:

Attraction can sneak up on anyone, and it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in it. Remember, fantasizing can be fun, but real life is not a Hollywood script. There’s no need to escalate every crush into a grandiose love affair - especially when it involves a married man. Keep your emotions in check, and take this as an opportunity to explore your feelings without acting on them. Life offers plenty of distractions; indulge in your hobbies, enjoy your friendships, and keep your eyes open for that connection with someone who’s actually available. After all, the best stories are those you can live without regret.

2

On the Bright Side …

So you’re crushing on a married guy and cursing your luck for not seeing him first. He’s sweet and kind, gorgeous, a perfect gentlemen – everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. Good – hold that thought! This guy’s presence might not benefit your love life in any tangible way, but it can at least help you pin down a few new qualities your perfect guy should have. It’s not much, I know, but it’s something.

UPD:

Consider this unrequited attraction as a learning curve, a chance to better understand your desires and deal-breakers in relationships. While he may be off-limits, you are free to take these insights and apply them to your search for someone who's just as wonderful but very much single. Having a clearer picture now of who your Mr. Right is, might make it easier to recognize him when he comes along. And yes, he will come along. Patience and clarity are your allies in the often confusing world of romance. Keep your heart open and your standards high!

3

Don’t Let Him String You along

Some men will refuse to stop dating even after they are married, playing a picture perfect husband for their wives and trying to feed you the “unhappily married” lies to get you to play along. Your crush will never divorce his wife and, even if he did – could you really trust him afterwards? Play it cool and see what happens. You might get to witness him trying to sell the same story to the next girl and you’ll be glad you didn’t fall for it!

UPD:

Be wise and strong in such situations. Engaging with a married man who plays dual roles risks not just your emotional well-being but also taints your self-respect. Consider the repercussions if the tables were turned. Would you appreciate betrayal? Likely not. It's imperative to uphold the same values you expect in a partner. Plus, remember, if he cheats with you, he's likely to cheat on you. Instead, invest your time in someone who is fully available and willing to commit a hundred percent to a relationship with you – that’s where your true happiness will flourish.

4

Don’t Let Yourself Become “the Other Girl”

So that guy is married, totally convinced his was not the match made in heaven and not shy about discussing it in public – that’s fine too, as long as he’s not using it to score casual dates. If his marriage is destined to fail, it will do so even without your help, allowing you to make your move fair and square, not become known as a homewrecker or be blamed for everything that was wrong in their marriage. Keep your distance and let the guy deal with his marital status on his own terms.

UPD:

Understand that attraction may be involuntary, but actions are deliberate. Respecting the boundary of marriage is crucial. Even if sparks fly, resist the temptation to become involved with a married man as it can lead to complex emotional entanglements, social judgment, and unwanted drama. Remember, you deserve someone who's free to love you openly and without the shadow of another relationship looming overhead. Hold out for a partner who can give you their whole heart, and not just stolen moments. Always prioritize self-respect and make choices that align with your values and the respect you hold for the institution of marriage.

5

Don’t Encourage Intimate Behavior

Overly intimate texts, after-work drinks and other sorts of we’re-not-really-doing-anything-but-it-feels-wrong behaviors are a huge no-can-do for tons of reasons. Keep your cool! Be friendly and polite but do not let him see you’re ready to melt into a puddle the moment he speaks to you. You don’t want to encourage him or make him think you’re the kind of gal he could cheat his wife with – trust me, it’s for your own good. If he’s a decent guy, he’ll respect you more for it…if not, he’ll probably move on to the next unsuspecting victim.

UPD:

It is important to remember that engaging in any kind of relationship with a married man is both unethical and potentially illegal in many places. Even if the relationship is consensual, it is still considered adultery and is punishable by law in some jurisdictions. Additionally, having an affair with a married man can have damaging effects on your mental health and self-esteem. It can also cause a great deal of stress and strain on your family and friends. Furthermore, there is a strong possibility of the relationship ending in heartbreak. Therefore, it is important to take the necessary precautions and to think carefully before engaging in any kind of relationship with a married man.

Famous Quotes

Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech.

Plutarch
6

He’s Not That Perfect

Sure, he looks like he’s perfect but let’s be honest – you don’t really know the guy well enough to know for sure. This amazing connection you two have might be real, yet it might be a result of both parties trying to leave a good impression. He might be a mama’s boy, might have terrible habits and you might deem him totally unsuitable if given a chance to date him. He’s no better than any other guy, just unreachable enough to continue playing a highflyer so, really, why risk your heart for him when you can turn to unattached men you can actually get to know?

UPD:

This text serves as a reminder that when it comes to being attracted to a married man, it is important to remember that they are not perfect. It is easy to be fooled by the idea of a seemingly perfect person, but it is important to remember that there is always more to someone than meets the eye. Being attracted to a married man can be a risky endeavor, as there is no way to truly know him or his habits without getting to know him better. Additionally, it is important to remember that it is never a good idea to pursue someone who is already taken. It is better to focus on single, unattached men who can be gotten to know and build a relationship with.

7

Have an Honest Chat with Yourself

Liking an unreachable guy is not odd, as long as it doesn’t happen all the time. If you catch yourself lusting after one married guy after another…well, Houston, we have a problem! What is it about married guys that attracts you so much? Is it about competition? Your need to prove something? Or you’re just scared of commitment and therefore find married guys safe to play with?

Have you ever been tempted to hook up with a married man or even went for it and now have some interesting info on what having a relationship with a married man really entails? Do tell!

UPD:

The reality of having a relationship with a married man is far from glamorous. It can be emotionally draining, as you will constantly be dealing with feelings of guilt and shame. You will also be risking your own physical and emotional wellbeing, as the married man may not be honest about the state of his marriage or his intentions. Furthermore, you may be putting yourself in a situation of financial instability, as the married man may not be able to provide financial support for you. It is important to consider the potential consequences of a relationship with a married man before entering into one.

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Here's a tip stay away from him you wouldn't like if you were the wife

I kinda like one guy, he's married and I can see that he likes me back. Of course he's not planing on cheating his wife, I guess. I wouldn't be with him, anyway. But I can't help myself with this odd fellings. And I can't stop thinking about him. And I feel really nervous when I see him. But I hope it'll pass. :/

I thoroughly enjoyed this article. And just like the commenter "Curly" below, I too would like to see more articles like this one. Sometimes, u need the perspective of another person to guide u thru a situation. I am very attracted to this transit driver in my home town, was talking to another transit driver that works with him that's a friend of mine, and while I was inquiring about this person, that's when he said to me, "You mean the married "one" with 2 kids?" and I was like, "Ohh, bummer.. never mind then lol!" However, I still think about this guy anyways, and the way he was checkin me out and kind of non-chalauntly flirting with me.. if he's so in love with his wife, why would he do that, is what I've been asking myself since, and cant make sense of it. Like, is it a midlife crisis situation, just needs his ego stroked a bit so wanted to see if I liked him back.. I dunno but it was weird. After I had told my "bus driver friend" that I thought his co-worker was hot.. is when this guy revealed about his wife (not knowing that I already knew) and I know my friend didnt tell him bc they work different days/shifts and never sees him... so why would this guy have flirted so heavy, I mean.. laid it on pretty thick to make it obvious, and then kinda sell himself out like that?? I know, what an interesting choice of words eh? lol.. but that's the only way I know how to describe it haha! Anyways, great article and hope to see more like it. I like the fact that there's a comment section as well, and if anyone has any theories or ideas on my "Why's" in my story, I'd love to read em.. like I said, sometimes another's perspective can be golden.

Great post would like to read more about this topic.

Getting involved in this type of relationship is very painful. I recently broke up with a married man and this situation is the worst thing that I ever lived. I'm currently visiting two psychologists at the same time because I ended up very depressed. I learned a reason and I will never make this mistake again. No women deserve to be "the other girl". Fortunately, I'm recovering of this painful situation.

What if he has a girlfriend?

And sometimes you don't find out he's involved with somebody else until after your involved too,. But it's great advice

he's married translation he's of limits end of conversation

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