The first date, the first time holding hands, the first kiss ... starting a new relationship can be so exciting. With all these first times the most important for sure is the first time you have sex.
Why is the first time with someone new so special?
Sex binds us together in a very special way. Experiencing an orgasm together is indeed a catalyst for our feelings. Experiencing something special, exciting, and intoxicating together heightens the feeling of being in love.
Please beware, we really should not read too much into the first time with our new sweetheart. First off all, it should not be seen as a performance test. Meaning, if we do not instantly harmonise in bed, it does not automatically mean we do not fit.
In all honesty, chances that your first time together will be mind blowing are rather low. We don’t know anything about what the other one likes, yet. We are not yet attuned. Perfection is reached through time.
Considering that: Excitement – yes. Suspense – be my guest. Something special and the next base in your relationship – absolutely. But that should be it. There will be many more times to come (pun intended).
In general, there is nothing you can do wrong when it comes to sex but there is a lot you can do right! So here are five tips to help you wrangle the nervousness:
1. Do Not Expect so Much
In all honesty, our first times are probably our worst sexual encounters during our partnerships. Getting in the mood, fighting nerves, relaxing, performing that dance that needs to be brought to perfection ... all nothing you can learn from Wikipedia
Especially if it is your very first time, you should even be prepared for a little pain. One more reason to get tense. Best Practice: Do not ask too much of yourself. Try to take it slow. Exhale and relax.
2. Take Your Time
A quickie is great if you are well attuned but for the first time it is not the best choice. Since we are not yet able to pull from a shared treasure of experience you should start careful and attentive and that takes time. The longer the foreplay is the longer you can use the time to get attuned and get to know what turns him (and he you) on.
Such being the case, have it cushy, share affection, and maybe try vanilla in the beginning.
3. Get Cosy
Everything is exciting enough already, no need to add some extra tension by doing it in the car or the last row of a cinema. Better eat something together, have a conversation, make a beautiful atmosphere, and cosy up in bed. As said before: Vanilla is the order of the day.
4. Start with the Basics
Even if you like it fancy on your dates – your new sex life should maybe start with something easy like missionary. If you know each other better you can still go through the Kama Sutra.
5. Confidence
• What when he sees ma naked and doesn’t like it?
• Am I beautiful!
• Do our zodiac signs fit ?
A lot of thoughts have no place during sex and are not healthy. (Not the first time and not the fiftieth time). The experience is best if you just turn off your head. It is time for your emotions and intuition to take the lead. Just don’t forget about the condoms.
