Initiating a breakup is no easy matter. It's hard for both parties. If you're doing the dumping, at least you should do it with dignity and face to face, no matter how difficult it is. Technology has made it easy for us to break up in many ways - but that doesn't mean you should avail of them. Please, don't tell him it's over in any of these ways:
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1. By Text
One of the most important ways not to break up is via a stupid text message. No matter how long you have been together, this guy has dedicated a portion of his life to being with you; the least he deserves is a face-to-face breakup rather than a cowardly text message. It is impossible to translate real emotion over a text; the breakup will end up feeling much colder and more bitter than you may have wanted.
2. Email
On a similar note, email is also out of the question. Think about it. What is the main reason you send an email nowadays? That’s right, work. No matter how tough you may have found the last few weeks, you still need to treat the end of a relationship with more affection and tact than you would asking a colleague a simple question about lunch hours! Also, there is always the danger that the email will find its way to the junk folder and never be read!
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3. Facebook
We all have that group of friends on Facebook that find it literally impossible to keep the details of their romantic lives private. You don’t want to be like one of those people, do you? Even worse, changing your relationship status on Facebook before even confronting your boyfriend is one of the biggest bitch moves on the Internet - out there for everyone to see!
4. Twitter
Equally as rude and insensitive is to break up with someone via Twitter. Come on, girl, can you really get all you need to say in to 140 characters? Give him some respect; he’s definitely going to need a little bit more than that to be able to accept the split in a mature and considered way.
5. Voicemail
No matter how mentally prepared you are in the moment, under no circumstances should you leave a message if his phone goes in to voicemail! He needs to be able to respond to you in real time, so if you absolutely have to leave a message, just tell him that you want to see him to talk about something and leave him to set a date and time!
6. Post-It
How can any of us forget that iconic Sex And The City moment where Burger broke up with Carrie via a stupid post-it note? This is something you should never, ever do because one, it smacks of childishness and two, a small post-it note is not going to be able to express enough reasoning and detail for your ex to be able to get over the relationship in a healthy way. You owe at least a solid explanation.
7. When Drunk
Make sure that you are completely sober when breaking up. It’s a delicate situation that you are going to want to have all of your faculties for, and if you are intoxicated you could end up saying something that you regret and that makes the split so much harder for both of you. Just stick to the sober plan!
8. Over the Phone
Basically, anything involving a phone and a breakup is bad news. It's more personable than voicemail or text, however, you're still hiding behind your device and I think you owe it to the other person not to do that.
9. Ghosting
Ghosting is when you just stop answering calls and texts, ignoring the person out of no where. This is not cool. If you're going to break up, have the decency to do it rather than just vanish from the face of the earth.
10. Right after Sex
Seriously, probably the worst one on this list. Don't try to get it in one last time, only the leave the other person once you finish. It's rude. It's mean. And it's no way to end a relationship. If you enjoy the sex that much at least discuss it with them and be friends with benefits! Maybe they feel the same and aren't cruel enough to tell you.
If you break up in a decent manner it's more likely you will move on faster. Bad break up recriminations is baggage you don't want to carry around.
Comments
peony: Don't do it when you are drunk though! However if u feel like u want to break by text phone voicemail it is your prerogative. I know someone who decided to break up with her boyfriend face to face he attacked her. She didn't see it coming even though she had initially decided to do so by text but each its own. But at the end of it all there is no fast rule about it do what feels right, just a thought. t .
Sharon: Getting dumped after 8 months by text was not easy. Still feel no closure not knowing what the problem was, since everything was going fine.
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