Moving on from a crush is a bit like trying to master the art of making croissants—seems overwhelming, but once you nail it, you feel like a rock star. Trust me, I’ve been through the wringer more times than I'd care to admit. It's now 2024, and while we're not exactly jetting around on hoverboards yet, emotional baggage hasn't gone out of style. Here are some signs that it's time to move on from your crush and start fresh.
The first sign that it's time to pack up your emotional suitcase is when your crush starts feeling more like a burden than a joy. If thoughts of them are taking over your brain during lectures or work and not in the "Oh, how dreamy!" way but more like "Why haven't they texted back in hours?”—it’s time to hit the emotional ejection button.
People always say you learn so much at university, but no one warns you that the real crash course happens off-campus. Between the heartbreak and the late-night meme-sharing sessions with your roommates, it becomes apparent that sometimes unrequited love is a rollercoaster that only goes down. Your friends might even start mentioning your crush fatigue or worse, you develop a habit of checking their social media obsessively like it’s your new major!
Another significant sign is if you find yourself pretending to be someone else just to get their attention. Come on, what's next—pretending you have a different favorite band or suddenly being into their obscure hobbies? It’s 2024, folks, let’s be real, authenticity is the name of the game. Shifting your personality around to catch someone’s eye is like trying to fit a square peg in a very judgmental round hole.
A good old emotional telltale is your reaction to their lack of interest. Felt crushed when they ignored your last message? Are you creating daily scenarios where they swoop in and declare undying love, only to wake up disappointed? I’ve got news for you, it’s time to exit stage left. Navigating emotional turbulence requires acknowledging when the object of your affection is more mirage than reality.
For a closer look, let’s divert to signs of reciprocity or lack thereof in our detailed breakdown, where we unmask the signals you might be misreading. Spoiler: If they're not meeting you halfway, you're basically sprinting in circles around them.
Essentially, holding onto a fading crush is like wearing shoes that are a size too small. Sure, they may look great, but they’ll ultimately leave you blistered and aching. Ready to spot that glaring truth? Hang on tight, because we are diving deep into identifying and conquering the 16 signs that scream, “Move on!”
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1. How He Treats You is Everything
We’ve heard it said, but I don’t think we can ever hear it enough. The way he treats you is the way he feels about you. If he doesn’t seem to give you a lot of attention or it’s only sporadic, it’s time to say goodbye and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve. You have to remember you are capable of love and being loved. You deserve nothing less than the best, especially when you know that you’ve given the situation your all.
2. Who Initiates Conversations More
It might sound cliché, but it goes so much further beyond just seeing that person’s name pop onto your phone’s screen randomly. It means they were thinking of you. Or they saw something that made them think of you and they wanted to share it with you. If you find yourself being the one who always forces conversation out of them, that’s not a good sign.
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If you're consistently the initiator, it might be time to rethink your situation. Relationships should be a two-way street, where both parties are excited to share moments of their day or random thoughts. When the balance tips, and you're the only one reaching out, it could indicate your crush isn't as invested in the budding relationship as you are. Pay attention to this red flag; effort in communication should be mutual for any connection to blossom into something more. If that effort is one-sided, it could be a sign that it's time to guard your heart and move on.
Frequently asked questions
Look, if every interaction feels forced or if they just don't seem interested, it might be time to move on. Also, if you're feeling more pain than joy thinking about them, it's a pretty clear sign.
If they don't reply to your messages or take ages to respond, if they're dating someone else, or if they just seem distant, these are all big red flags that they've moved on.
It's tough because crushes are all about potential and what-ifs. Letting go means accepting that it probably won't happen, and that's hard!
Focus on yourself! Find new hobbies, hang out with friends, and maybe even consider meeting new people. Keep yourself busy and occupied.
If you're no longer obsessing over them, if you can think of them without feeling emotional, or if you're interested in other people, you're probably over them.
3. Does He Talk about Other Girls in Front of You or to You
This one you have to be careful with. I don’t mean to say if he’s talking about Sansa Stark then that automatically means he doesn’t like you (because let’s get real, she’s gorgeous.) That in and of itself isn’t necessarily a sign that you have to forget about him, but if he starts talking about another girl that he knows personally or that both of you know (or worse, one of your friends), then you might want to consider emotionally detaching yourself before it’s too late.
4. He’s Mentioned Getting Back with an Ex
This is one of the most important things you could hear out of his mouth. If he’s not just mentioning another girl but talking about getting back into a relationship, you’ve got a problem. It’s very rare that he’s doing this solely to see what your reaction is to him mentioning someone else.
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When your crush openly expresses a desire to rekindle a romance with an ex, it's more than a subtle hint; it's a loud and clear alarm bell. His heart might be anchored to his past, leaving little room for you in the present, let alone the future. Expecting him to shift his focus from his old flame to you isn't just wishful thinking, it's emotionally risky. Trust your instincts and acknowledge this red flag. This could be the moment to embrace your self-worth and find someone who recognizes and appreciates your unique beauty and qualities.
5. If You’ve Suggested Going out and It Hasn’t Worked
Even if it was a low-key, “I’m bored. Want to do something later?” and he blew it off, that’s still not something you should take lightly. While it is possible that he didn’t know your true intentions, most guys aren’t that oblivious. He might have come up with an excuse or told you to postpone it to a later date. All of which are not good signs.
6. If You Feel like You’re Trying to Squeeze Meaning out of Every Word
This can be a desperation move, and it’s not healthy at all. If you’re trying to dissect meaning in even one-word answers, that’s a major sign that he’s not giving you enough to be sure one way or the other. When you’re not sure, you have to be able to walk away.
7. If It’s Causing You More Hurt than Happiness to Talk
We’re all guilty of pretending that the small moments are worth the torturous ones in between. But let’s be honest, they’re really not. If you’re sitting by your phone for five minutes but it feels more like an hour as you wait for him to respond, you need to start looking elsewhere for fulfillment that you’re not going to be able to get with him.
8. If You Can’t Concentrate on Anything else
Being independent is a very attractive quality. Part of that means that you’re able to concentrate on the things that make you, you! When you find yourself unable to focus because of the stress you have over that last text convo, you need to move on.
9. You Start Feeling “unworthy”
A lot of people tend to judge their worth based on who’s standing beside them. And while it’s always a good idea to surround yourself with good people, your self worth comes from looking in the mirror and realizing how good a person you are. No one should make you feel unworthy of what you want. So if that person is doing that, they’re the one unworthy of you.
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When your self-esteem starts to wane in the presence of your crush, it's your inner compass nudging you. Remember, you are enough just as you are. If you find yourself constantly striving to be someone you are not, or feeling like you have to prove your value, take it as a clear signal. Your worth is intrinsic and should not be dependent on external validation. You deserve someone who celebrates you for your individuality, not someone who makes you question your self-worth.
10. You Start Comparing Yourself to Other Girls
Along the same lines of feeling unworthy, you should never feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else. We are all unique in our own special ways, curvy or skinny, short or tall, sporty or girly. If that certain someone doesn’t see how great you are, it’s their loss.
11. You Become Unhealthy in Your Habits in Order to Make Yourself “prettier”
This is a big no-no. As mentioned, everyone is different in their own special ways. Never tell yourself that you need to eat less to be skinnier or wear pounds and pounds of makeup to attract someone.
12. Timing Matters
Sometimes, it’s not that the person you need to move on from is a bad person. Sometimes, it just happens that you meet each other at the wrong times in your lives. It’s important to know that moving on isn’t because of anything specifically wrong between you and him, only that the timing was wrong. Move on if you feel you’re going to be chasing time instead of enjoying it with said person.
13. He Takes Advantage of Your Good Deeds
This is a given in my opinion. However, it’s one of the more important ones on the list. If you go out of your way to take interest in his interests or to make sure he feels comfortable in a certain environment or are just generally always there for him and he doesn’t take the time to thank you or do something in return to show appreciation, he’s not worth it. End of story.
14. He Shows Major Signs of Being a Flirt
Listen up ladies, because this one isn’t pretty. If he’s being a total flirt to everyone you know, then he’s not the right one for you…or anyone for that matter. No girl deserves to have her emotions toyed with. No one. And flirty guys are the worst for doing that and making you have false hope.
15. He’s Not Interested in Anything Long Term
It’s pretty easy (most times) to tell if a guy is looking to merely hookup with you or go for something long term. However, in certain special cases, they know how to play you, unfortunately. Keep your guard up, and if you notice signs of him being a flirt, he’s probably got commitment issues, too.
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It’s pretty easy (most times) to tell if a guy is looking to merely hookup with you or go for something long term. However, in certain special cases, they know how to play you, unfortunately. Keep your guard up, and if you notice signs of him being a flirt, he’s probably got commitment issues, too. If he avoids any deep or meaningful conversations and prefers to keep things light and fun, it’s likely a red flag. Trust your instincts and remember, you deserve someone who is genuinely invested in building a future with you.
16. He Just Doesn’t Show Interest
Personally, I think the media tends to portray guys as the chasers and the ones who tend to express their love more outwardly (ahem- “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur.) That’s why when a guy isn’t chasing you, it most likely means that he’s not interested. But women can feel just as longing as any guy. I know it’s hard to hear, and you might be saying to yourself “But he’s just shy,” or, “He’s just unsure of himself.” And I’m not telling you those things can’t be true, but they are highly unlikely to be.
