Sometimes you may think you are dating a jerk, but it is important to look out for the signs you’re dating a narcissist to see if your boyfriend’s behavior is something more serious. Narcissism is a psychological disorder in which a person displays an egotistical, selfish, and accentuated sense of self-importance. If you think you might be in a relationship with one, here are some signs you’re dating a narcissist.
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1. You Are Always in a Chase
One of the easiest signs you’re dating a narcissist is if you feel like you are constantly chasing them. Narcissists believes that they are the epitome of perfect and that can translate into the constant need for affection. During the courting, or “chasing” stage of a relationship, it is more common for that affection to be given. A narcissist will try to prolong this phase and keep you feelings like affection and compliments are the only ways to get them to stay.
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This behavior often escalates to a point where you’re expected to prioritize their needs over your own, always trying to keep up with their high demands for attention and admiration. They may manipulate your desire to please them by witholding affection, leading you to work even harder for their approval. This exhausting cycle can make you feel unsure and inadequate, as though you’re not quite good enough unless you’re bending over backwards to meet their expectations. Remember, a healthy relationship should be about mutual respect and support, not a one-sided quest for validation.
2. They Don’t Listen
Someone who is narcissistic will expect you to listen to their every issue or problem in life. But when it comes time to talk about you, don’t expect them to be there with open ears. If you are dating a narcissist, they will think that your problems do not really matter and that they are too good to take the time to listen to you.
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3. Everything Depends on Them
You cannot make plans unless he wants to, you cannot hang out with your friends unless he is okay with it, and basically everything you do depends on his opinion of it. One of the biggest signs you’re dating a narcissist is if everything in your relationship depends on him and his opinion of things. If you are not free to make your own decisions independently, you need to reevaluate things.
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When your desires and needs continually take a backseat to his, it’s a red flag. A healthy relationship involves compromise and mutual respect, but with a narcissist, it’s their way or the highway. If it feels like you're living in their shadow, constantly seeking approval for every little decision, this isn't normal. It's essential to have a space where you're allowed to be yourself without judgment or control. If you don't have this, it might be time to question the balance in your relationship.
4. Constantly Needs Attention
Narcissists are under the impression that the world revolves around them, and they are not afraid to share their opinion with others. They will constantly be seeking your attention, and you better watch out if they don’t get it. They will be incredibly offended if you are not giving them compliments for the majority of the day.
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When dating a narcissist, you might find yourself constantly disrupted by their demands for attention during social gatherings, private moments, or even in the middle of important personal tasks. Their need for admiration and validation can lead to unrealistic expectations for constant praise, creating a tense relationship dynamic where your own needs and boundaries are consistently overlooked. Failing to meet their high demands for attention can result in dramatic reactions or manipulative tactics aimed to reel you back into their spotlight.
5. Puts up Boundaries
While a narcissistic guy might think it is unacceptable for you to see other people, he might believe it is perfectly fine for him to see other girls. This goes along with their need for attention, but also with their need for your world to revolve around them. They want to be the center of not only your life, but the lives of others.
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In this double standard of theirs, they draw clear lines that serve their interests. Should you challenge these boundaries, expect belittlement or a full display of outrage, as your role is to feed their ego, not question it. They might justify or downplay their exploits, spinning a narrative where their actions are acceptable, if not admirable. Meanwhile, your autonomy and rights within the relationship will often be diminished or ignored, leaving you to question the validity of your own feelings and needs—exactly where the narcissist wants you.
6. Can’t Take Criticism
One of the most prominent signs you’re dating a narcissist is if they cannot take even the slightest criticism. How could they? In their minds, they are perfect. If you are dating a narcissist, they will most like freak out and blow up anytime you say anything that could even remotely be considered a criticism.
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This hypersensitivity to feedback is often rooted in a fragile self-esteem that's armored by an inflated self-image. Attempts to discuss any flaws or challenges in their behavior are seen as personal attacks. It's not just about disagreeing or getting upset; a partner with narcissistic tendencies might resort to gaslighting or belittle your concerns to maintain their sense of superiority. You may find that genuine concerns are often met with defensiveness or are twisted to become your fault, further evading accountability and hindering healthy communication.
7. He Puts Himself First
In his mind, he is more important than you. It’s nothing you did to make him think this; it is just the way his brain works. But because of this, he will put himself and his needs above your own. If you try to talk to him about what you want and need out of the relationship, he will most likely blow you off and continue to act in the same manner.
Once you've decided you are in a relationship with a narcissist, what you decide to do from there is up to you. It can be hard to be in a relationship with a narcissist, but if you really want to work through it, you can. But to make it work, you first need to look for the signs you’re dating a narcissist. Have you seen these signs you’re dating a narcissist in your boyfriends? What are some other signs to look for in a narcissistic significant other? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic?
**Sources:
**decodinghim.com
Comments
Leigh: Gosh, I sound like a real a-hole. Guess I'd better volunteer for something real soon.
Erin: @haley everyone has narcissistic tendencies, which is acceptable. These characteristics explain a malignant narcissist which is extremes. After dating a narc for three years I can agree with this list wholeheartedly. It kills your soul being with one. Run far far away from them.
Shafa: wow, the guy model looks super cute
Ema: A narcissist will speak a lot about himself. Everything that someone close to him has achieved, would be made-look as if it was his help that made it happen. Sometimes it's difficult to follow the subject of his conversation. A narcissist will give opinions about everything and impose his decisions on others. He usually sees things as black and white only. Stay away from such individuals; they are extremely dangerous for your mental wellbeing!!
BlueLily: I may be the narcissist :p not quite but quite close -.-
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