Dating after Divorce can be difficult, even scary. You've been married, whether it was for a short or extended period, and suddenly you're back in the dating game. The security of a long term relationship is no more, and you don't know how to proceed, only that you're ready to go on with your life. Dating after divorce is stressful – but it really shouldn't be. In fact, it can be fun, as long as you keep it in the right perspective. These savvy tips on dating after divorce should be able to help you!
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1. Reestablish Who You Are
Dating after divorce often involves reestablishing your identity. Going from “wife” to “single woman” requires a serious transition. Make sure you give yourself time to get through it. Find out who you are versus who you were, and who you would like to be now.
2. Conquer Your Fears
Dating again is scary after any kind of long term relationship. It can be even scarier after a marriage. Rather than letting the fear control you, conquer it. Recognize this part of your life as an adventure, an opportunity, and don't let fear hold you back from having new experiences.
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3. Experiment with Dating
Feel free to experiment when you start dating after divorce. You don't have to start looking for another serious relationship. You may not want to think about getting married again for a long, long time. Even a long term relationship might not be at all palatable. That's no problem – just date to have fine! Go out with different guys, don't commit yourself, and have a good time. You don't have to get serious!
4. Don't Compare
It's important not to compare new men or women to your former spouse. It can be hard not to do that, of course, but try not to let those natural comparisons color your opinions too soon. No one is going to be like your ex, but that doesn't mean you won't like them in a different way!
5. Know What You Want
What are you looking for when you begin dating after divorce? Do you want to find friendship or companionship? Maybe you're looking for someone to spend time with, or perhaps you would like to meet someone you can be serious with after spending time together. Whatever the case, go into the dating game knowing what you want – it will make things go much more smoothly.
6. Redefine What Dating Means
Dating means different things to different people at the best of times. That's especially true after a divorce. For you, dating might now mean casually spending time together. It might mean having a companion or a close friend rather than an actual “date.” Your definition is fine, just be sure to think about what the whole dating game means to you now.
7. Try New Venues
Finally, if you've been married for a while, then dating after divorce is incredibly new. So, try out different venues and techniques. Give online dating a try, in addition to hitting up the proper single scene. You don't have to go to clubs and bars, but it might not hurt to check out the local community theatre or dog park.
When you start dating after divorce, it can throw you for a loop. Just remember that there's no pressure. Try dating for fun. It's perfectly acceptable to enjoy yourself when you begin dating after divorce. Something has ended, and regardless of what the marriage was like, that can hurt. Get back out there in your own time and do what makes you comfortable. If you've gone through this, how did you begin dating after divorce?
Top Photo Credit: lizwizb
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