If you’ve met someone who you thought was perfect for you and then, out of nowhere, they seemed to back away for no reason, then you should see if these signs of a commitment-phobe can describe your partner’s behavior. Their commitment phobia actually comes from their negative beliefs about commitment, love and relationships and most of the time, they also suffer from a deep fear of intimacy. These dysfunctional attitudes and their behavior will sabotage your relationship, since they will always look for ways to back away when things become a little more serious. Here are a few telltale signs of a commitment-phobe that you should consider:
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1. You Haven’t Met Their Friends and Family
One of the sure signs of a commitment-phobe is the fact that even though you are dating for quite some time, you still haven’t met any of their friends or family members. Commitment-phobes cannot be transparent with their activities and they have a strong need to hide important things from you.
2. You Haven’t Seen Their Home
Also, if they spend a lot of time at your place but you haven’t seen their home yet or if you have, it sort of looks like a hotel room, then you should start asking yourself if you are dating a commitment-phobe. For these types of people, their homes are more like a way-station, where they come to shower, change clothes and sleep.
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3. They Are Attentive and Charming
Commitment-phobes are very attentive and charming and they tend to move in fast. They usually love the chase, but when they win, they tend to lose their interest. Once they win you over, the unattractive parts of their personality will start showing and you should pay attention to those warning signs.
4. They Are a Last-Minute Planner
Most commitment-phobes are last-minute planners since for them, planning time with someone is a form of commitment and they avoid doing it as much as possible. They will also feel uncomfortable if you take charge of how you two spend your time together and they will want to stay in control of things.
5. They Lose Interest when Things Get Serious
A commitment-phobe usually loses their interest when things get serious, because as I said before, they only love the chase, but not the capture. They usually have a history of brief and passionate relationships that ended without an explanation. Sometimes they even blame their former partners for everything that went wrong in their previous relationships.
6. They Make Excuses to End Dates Early
Most commitment-phobes usually make up a lot of excuses just to end your dates early. For example, they just remembered that they have an important assignment due the next day or that they have to attend an important meeting the next morning. They will tell you anything just to leave immediately and stay in control of things.
7. They Have a Lot of Flexibility at Work
Most commitment-phobes tend to choose jobs that allow for a lot of flexibility to travel. They don’t like working in an office and they want to be able to control their own schedule. This lifestyle also makes it easier for them to be unfaithful and it offers them the means to avoid you as much as possible.
Dating a commitment-phobe is a very challenging and very confusing experience. Did you ever date a commitment-phobe? How did you deal with that situation? Do you know any other telltale signs of a commitment-phobe? Please tell us about them in the comments section!
Sources: psychcentral.com, thoughtcatalog.com
Comments
Lizzy: it wasn't really my boyfriend but a guy I liked and was interested in! he was interested in me too and we would stay up all night texting an talking. we would also spend time together during the day! I really thought we would get somewhere but a good three weeks later he decided that he wasn't interested and completely ignored me! now I know why! cuz he's and a**hole and a commitment phobe!
Pamela1231: after reading this I myself realize that I'm a commitment phobe. I had a scarring 3 1/2 year long relationship with someone and it's been a year since. this really nice guy who adores me really likes me and I like him but I'm just too scared of jumping in myself plus there's a giant list of reasons why it's not a good idea but that just might be my phobia
lily: my boyfriend seems to be acting this way lately he says he needs space but that's probably code for it's over
nellyvald: ya tan, my brother treats every girl he goes out with like that ( I know Cus he treats me like a keeper of secrets) an let me tell u it's not exactly commitment phobia more like he wanted fun and someone to relieve his emotional stress with
Op12: these are signs if an a***ole.. no girl should be this silly as to catch herself settling for this sort of bull***
Donna: 7 out of 7. oh nooooo!!!
Togolover: Wow, am so suprised by how correctly you have it down, I am a commitment foe and all that is freaking true, except am a girl and don't do traveling kind of jobs.
Ya: okay so nellyvald that's a bad thing I'm guessing ? he used me to free himself from "emotional stress"
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