There's no question that texting is a convenient, if slightly antisocial, way of communicating. It's infesting everything, from work to family communications … to dating. To that end, there are really lots of rules you need to abide by, especially if you want to keep things going well. Specifically, here are some texting dos and don'ts that apply to dating.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Do Break the Ice
Texting is a great way to break the ice when you're dating someone you haven't been going out with for very long. You can also text your date before you actually go out, just to say hi, break the ice, and get to know one another a little better. You don't want to share too much in the beginning, but using it to share little tidbits, to discuss the specifics of a date, and things like that are great.
***
Texting can also help build anticipation and excitement for your upcoming date. A playful or thoughtful message can go a long way in setting a positive tone. However, keep it light and fun; avoid delving into deep or controversial topics too soon. Instead, use humor or share something interesting about your day. This kind of casual conversation helps to create a comfortable space where both of you can feel at ease. Remember, the goal is to be engaging, not overwhelming, so keeping your texts short but sweet can strike the perfect balance.
2. Don't Play Guessing Games
Texting, like emailing or IMing, is a solely text based medium – and it's easy to misinterpret words when you don't hear any vocal nuances or connotations. You can easily think someone's being sarcastic or even indifferent when they simply don't write well, or don't use exclamation points after every sentence. When you can't hear their voice, it's easy for miscommunications to happen. If something rubs you the wrong way, wait until you're face to face to talk about it, otherwise it could lead to a messy situation.
Frequently asked questions
3. Don't Tease
Text messages are great mediums for flirting, but you can go a little overboard very easily. You need to be careful when you're being a tease via text, and make sure that you're always honest. Don't say something you don't feel, and don't allude to something you don't actually want to do. That can lead to mixed messages, and an ensuing trainwreck.
4. Do Send Long Distance Texts
If you're dating someone you really like and you're going to be away from one another, it's a great opportunity to text. Again, you don't want to go overboard. Don't smother the person. However, letting them know you're thinking of them is all good.
5. Do Respond Quickly
Do you ever send off a text message and have to wait and wait and wait to get a response? That drives me crazy! I understand that people get busy, but when you're waiting for days for no good reason, it gets frustrating. Think about how you feel when this happens to you, and always remember to respond to your date as quickly as you can.
6. Don't Get Angry
Angry texts are awful, because there's rarely anything you can do about the situation. Telegraphing feelings of frustration is one thing, but taking your date to task over something is another thing entirely. Those kinds of things should be left to face to face interactions.
7. Do Talk in Person
Which brings me to this. While it's all well and good to text someone you're dating, that should not be your only means of communication. Don't forget how fun it can be to actually talk on the phone. Most importantly, never underestimate how vital it is to discuss the important things in person. Some things should not be discussed over text messages, plain and simple.
Social media is great. Texting, Facebook, Twitter, and all those things make it really easy to connect with other people. However, there is a time and a place for those things, and it's important to remember what needs to be done face to face. What kinds of text messages do you absolutely hate to get?
Top Photo Credit: bbrooklynn11
Comments
Kristopher: The one thing that is flawed with this list is that they are a set of rules you aught to follow. This is not a list your partner probably even knows about. Setting ground rules and having communication of expectations is required for a list like this to work. #5 Especially. I have had many friends who complain about 4 hours later text messages yet they never have the conversation that it bothers them. Both people need to talk about it AND agree upon it in order to be an effective list, rules etc.
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge