All Women's Talk

Break up to Make up Moving Forward after Trust is Broken ...

By Kash

Have you ever asked, can we move forward after trust has been broken in a relationship? Breaking up to make up is common practice for many couples, however, there is one pet peeve that may be the very cause of failed relationships. Trust is major in any relationship, whether family, spouse or friend and if trust cannot be truly regained after it is lost. The relationship can never truly be mended.

Something many of us do after making up with a spouse, ESPECIALLY my ladies, is bring the past into the present. If we make up and agree to try again, we need to give our spouse a fair chance. You and Jody cannot start fresh and move forward if you are still bringing up Jody sleeping with Lisa 4 years ago. No, I am not taking up for the wrong that has been done, but forgiveness is key in moving forward if moving forward is what is truly desired. So, can we move forward after trust has been broken in a relationship?

A fresh start means we eliminate all thoughts of wrong-doing and we start from the present and move forward. For many of us, this is not an easy task. This may be one of the largest hurdles in your relationship, but if the love is strong enough and you feel the relationship is worth it, you must bury the events of the past and agree to move forward. The wrong party must also be at a place in their life where the wrongdoing is done.

Relationships are a two-way street and communication, trust and compromise are key. Of course, one should not compromise their worth, but relationships are full of give and take. We must keep in mind that two completely different individuals of separate mind, body, and emotions are joining together. People make mistakes and there WILL be disagreements, which is where compromise and understanding come into play. It’s okay to disagree at times, as long as you know how to communicate with one another maturely and calmly, both expressing yourself and listening to your partner's feelings and thoughts.

You MUST be receptive to what your partner expresses! Don’t assume that just because they were the wrong party, your feelings are the only feelings that matter. This method of communicating is where the two of you will meet at common ground and get over this hurdle. However, if for some reason you cannot reach common ground or YOU find yourself unable to stop thinking about the past and the wrongdoing that has been done, then I’m not here to sugar coat things for you. I’m here to let you know that it may just be time to LET IT GO!

Healing and forgiveness will be a must for your own sake, but if you cannot regain focus on the present because you are stuck in the past, it is unfair to both of you, continuing this cycle of questioning, arguments, and accusations. You may just need alone time to do some soul-searching and healing and to ultimately come to the realization that this relationship is too damaged to fix.

Remember, all things were meant to happen, but not all things were meant to be.

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