Your first date went wonderfully and you're so excited that you kind of jump the gun and accidentally start exhibiting some serious stalker tactics. No one likes a creeper, though, and you want to avoid that role at all costs, especially if you really want that first day to turn into a second, third, and fourth. If you really like the guy or girl you're seeing, avoid these stalker tactics after your first date, and you'll be sure to get a second one!
This is the true story that inspired this post. One of Heather's co-workers is now the queen of stalker tactics. She had a date with a guy, really liked him, and for the week after their date, she Googled him, Facebook stalked, got on his Twitter, everything, and saved a bunch of his pictures. She then photoshopped herself into them, made pseudo-clever captions (they were not clever) implying the good times they'd shared in an inevitable long-term relationship … and then she turned those photos into a calender. Don't do that. If you ever get the whim, squash it. You've got a bit too much time on your hands and shouldn't engage in those kinds of activities while waiting for a phone call.
After you're securely in a relationship, showing up at your boyfriend or girlfriend's office with a surprise lunch or bouquet is sweet. When you've only gone on your first date, showing up unannounced is creepy, and will probably make your oblivious date uncomfortable. Wait for such sweet gestures. If you do this too soon, you'll never see that second date.
Of course waiting for a call, email, or text sucks, especially when you've been out with a guy who is firmly entrenched in Boy Time. However, sending text after text after text, whining and over-sharing and clinging, is not the way to secure a second date. It might be a good way to secure a restraining order, though.
Facebook stalking is pretty common. I'm not even going to advise you to avoid it, but try not to go crazy. What you should never do, however, is go on a complete blitz. Sending a friend request to your new date is one thing; leaving the occasional message or like is acceptable too. You do not need to become friends with his friends or family members, though, nor do you need to comment on everything. That's a little too much.
It's too easy to get jealous. If you're friends with him or her on Facebook or follow your date on Twitter, you can get jealous when he or she talks to other people. If the guy you're crazy about is talking to a girl in comments, don't freak and start interrogating him. Don't assume that the girl you like is cheating just because she has lots of friends. Chill!
You've had one date. Even if you don't go the calender-making route, you can't start making big plans for the future. While you can and should have little fantasies and daydreams, keep them to yourself. Don't automatically start talking about eventually moving in together, going on vacations, sharing holidays, and so on. You'll just creep out your date.
Similarly, you can't start insinuating yourself into your date's life. If you spot him or her making plans on Facebook, don't invite yourself. If you hear him or her talking to a friend about an after-work drink, don't coincidentally show up there yourself. There has to be space, time, and patience if you want to build a real relationship.
Sometimes it's hard to keep cool and lay back in the cut, but it's a much better option than creeping. What's the most stalkerish thing you've ever done after a successful first date? Or maybe you've been on the receiving end of some serious stalker tactics.
Please rate this article