Ah, the millennial mating game ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ โฆ it's like nothing you'll ever see on Nat Geo. Hardly anyone understands today's dating ๐ซ rules, let alone millennials themselves. It's no wonder the dating ๐ซ game ๐ฎ is so hard for such a large portion of this generation. This ish is complicated, y'all. Where dating ๐ญ was once stark black and white, it's now overwhelmed with shades of grey. How do you deal with that? Well, you start right here, as a matter of fact. You have to understand what things mean before you throw yourself out there.
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1. Nobody Really Goes on Dates Anymore
That is, no one calls it that. Plus, of course, the entire idea ๐ก of dating ๐ญ is kind of obsolete, at least as it applies to how most people think of dating. Millennials view it as formal, not to mention old-fashioned. It places too much pressure on a first meeting. Instead, people ๐ฅ hang out. They get coffee โ together. They go out for drinks. They'll hang out at a bookstore or a mutual friend's, but they rarely choose the dinner-and-a-movie route and they almost never call it a โdate.โ
2. Talking ๐ Isn't Just Talking
Actually, โtalkingโ โ as it applies to dating ๐ญ โ reared its head when we were kids. Older millennials may remember this popping up in high school. Suddenly, if you were interested in someone and you were kind of flirting, you were โtalkingโ to that person. It's like the two of you were negotiating the terms of a possible relationship ๐ฌ or something. These days, it means more or less the same thing, but it's much more laid back. When you're talking to someone in this context, you're typically texting ๐ฌ back and forth, flirting ๐ hardcore, and clearly interested in each other, you're just not ready to make it official.
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3. Hooking up Isn't as Simple as You Think It is
Sure, hooking up still means getting together ๐ซ for a no-strings exchange of sexual satisfaction, but that's not all it means. You can hook up with someone to have sex, you can hook up and make out, you can hook up and round second or third base โฆ you get the idea. The point is that hooking up is usually casual. You may eventually become exclusive or decide to try monogamy, but hooking up itself generally doesn't involve a commitment.
4. After the Hookup Comes the Quick Jump
Ideally, the quick jump follows the hookup, that is. The quick jump involves that โquick jumpโ into a relationship ๐ญ when you and the person ๐ง๐ป you're with decide to take it to the next level. The quick jump occurs after you make this decision with someone you're talking ๐ข to, as well. This takes the place of the dating ๐ซ phase as earlier generations ๐ช understand it.
5. Dating ๐ฌ Apps Serve a Purpose
Dating apps serve several purposes, as a matter of fact. Although not every millennial relies on dating apps to meet people, they are the go-to standard for meeting potential partners. The best part? There's a dating ๐ซ app for whatever you're looking for โ and that doesn't even count 6๏ธโฃ the niche apps, such as Black People Meet, J-Date, and Christian Mingle. No, it's kind of like this: Tinder and Grindr are typically for casual hook-ups, although magical ๐ฎ matches are made on them; POF (plentyoffish) is โฆ well, there are success stories, but it's kind of grimy, tbh; and for more serious dating ๐ซ endeavors, there are apps such as Match.com, OKCupid, and so on. As dating ๐ซ apps become more popular ๐ among millennials, there are more โ and better โ choices, including Bumble, Happn, and Coffee Meets Bagel.
6. But Online Personals Are Still Popular, Too
Match, eHarmony, and OKCupid, among others, have active online forums. In fact, they started out as online dating ๐ญ sites, not apps. It's totally acceptable to meet people through these types of internet personals. The only drawback, of course, is that you usually have to pay for a membership, but hey, finding love ๐ is sometimes worth the cash.
7. Communication โ๏ธ is Kind of Cursed among Millennials
It's because so much communication โ๏ธ takes place over text messages. It's so easy to misinterpret tone and intent, plus not everyone is fluent in the language of millennial love. There's also the problem of catfishing โ you could be communicating beautifully with someone who simply doesn't exist.
8. Millennials See Dead ๐ Dates
All right, that's kind of morbid. What that means is that ghosting is a very real worry for millennials playing the field. People ๐ป disappear out of nowhere, sometimes after you've formed a strong โ connection. According to POF, a whopping 80 percent of millennials have gotten ghosted. Someone stops answering texts, stops calling, stops emailing ๐ง โฆ they disappear into the ether of the internet, never to be heard ๐ from again. Hopefully. Because that is an awkward ๐ conversation, running ๐ into someone you've ghosted.
9. Death ๐ to Gender ๐ป Roles
More and more women are taking the lead these days. They ask out potential partners, they arrange to hang out, they initiate conversations โ women are on the ball! They're also beating down the stigma/double-standard that insists that casual sex is fine for guys but wrong for girls. As a result, women are claiming their sexuality, they're making people realize that women are sexual creatures with needs and hungers, too, and hopefully, they're also erasing the idea ๐ก that any woman ๐ฉ who enjoys sex is slutty because that is a big load of bovine feces. ๐๐ฉ
10. Real Relationships Start at Home
Okay, not at home, but a lot of millennials find that even with all the apps and dating ๐ฌ sites, they meet their long-term love โฅ๏ธ interests at work, at school, or through friendships. That's something, right?
How do you navigate the millennial dating ๐ซ scene? Do you have any tips to share?
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