All Women's Talk

7 Top Rules for Fighting Fair in Your Relationship ...

By Jennifer

No matter how wonderful, loving, and strong your relationship is, eventually, you and your mate will fight. It's how you fight -- dirty of fair -- that will separate the temporary relationships from the long-term loves. Here are a few of the rules you need to know to make sure you're fighting with the gloves on, so no one gets hurt.

1 Cool It

muscle, arm, interaction, LUSE,If you're feeling frustrated with the fight, because instead of getting closer to a resolution, you're just getting angrier, agree to walk away and cool off for a few minutes. Literally, walk away from the fight (and from each other) and come back when you've both got cooler heads.

2 Avoid "Always"

human action, hair, person, image, man,... and "never." These phrases, like "you always..." and "you never..." ill only deepen resentment and set the other person on the defensive. Instead, bring up a specific time (or few times) the behavior in question was an issue.

3 Don't Fight and Tell

hair, person, nose, hairstyle, supermodel,You'll be tempted to vent to your sister, your best friend, your mother, your Insta or Twitter followers, but don't do it. Oversharing makes it hard for your friends and fam to like him again once you've made up, and besides, imagine how bad you'd feel if he fought and told to his friends.

4 Don't Go to Bed Angry

clothing, thigh, finger, leg, undergarment,I know this one's hard, especially if you live in different houses, but try to resolve an issue or fix a fight before you both go to sleep, because rather than cooling off, you'll just lie there and stew and NOT SLEEP. Sleep missed means frustration in the a.m. ... when the fight will just start again.

5 Don't Bring up the past

person, face, black hair, photography, nose,If your mate's messed up in the past, and you've worked it out, don't throw it back in his face during a new fight. All that does is demonstrate that you can't actually forgive and forget, and that in turn can lead to trust issues. If you do need to rehash an old issue, wait til this fight's over, and start that convo another time.

6 Don't Hurt on Purpose

people, man, ceremony, romance, interaction,If you know your love is sensitive about something, for the love of all that's holy, don't bring it up during a fight! Side note: don't ever insult a man's mother or the size of his manly bits while fighting either, because neither of those can ever be taken back, whether you actually meant them or not.

7 Don't Get Physical

clothing, sun tanning, leg, muscle, swimwear,There's no good reason, ever, to strike someone, so just don't. If you're that angry, you definitely need to walk away... and if he ever hits, shoves, or otherwise gets physical with you, get away and get safe, immediately. Help is available 24/7 by calling 800-799-7233.

What other fair-fighting rules would you add to my list? Is there another bi of advice you can share?

Please rate this article





Readers questions answered