Break ups are one of those things that nobody wants to go through, but sadly, they are a part of life. There are tons of emotions that come with them, and knowing how to deal with them can help. Also, remembering you arenāt alone! Just know, youāll make it out on the other side.
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Shockš®
A lot of times after a breakup, you can be left sitting and wondering what the heck just happened. You might not believe that what youāre going through is even real. It can be hard to accept. Remembering that this is your bodyās natural way to try and protect against pain can help. It can be a bit of confusion, or it can be actual physical shock that affects your breath. What you can do is try to calm yourself by going out and taking a walk, indulging in a bubble bath, or meditating. Remember that things will clear up eventually.
Denialš
When you just go through a breakup, another common accompaniment is denial. You donāt want to believe a breakup is happening and it can feel unreal. You want to push away reality and store your feelings, but that can make it harder to heal. The healthy thing to do is to embrace all your feelings and emotions even if they are hard to handle. Reach out to someone close to you and unleash what youāre scared about or write in your journal. You need to deal with it some way ā denying it doesnāt make it change or go away.
Isolation
Getting past the denial stage means youāve accepted the situation. Itās normal for you to be feeling out of whack and uncertain where to go from here. We totally get that you might want to withdraw and take some time with your own thoughts and feelings, and thereās nothing wrong with that. We arenāt saying you have to go out and make an effort to be outgoing. Just make sure that you arenāt letting yourself waste away: take showers and try to make yourself get up and do something on occasion.
Anger
Itās common for feelings of anger often come after sadness. When youāre thinking about the situation, you might feel a rage burning inside of you š” You may see pictures of you guys together and want to tear them up. You might want to talk poorly about them. Or you might be mad at yourself and start beating yourself up. Either way, youāre trying to place blame. Feel free to write, feel, and talk about your anger, but donāt act on it by āgetting backā at your partner or doing anything that you might regret later with a clearer mind.
Bargaining
Itās really not uncommon to start thinking about ways to get your ex back. Maybe youāre trying to make yourself feel better about the role you played, or just missing their presence in your life. You might be desperate to negotiate with your ex and go to them to try to get back together šTry to make a list of things that make you happy and goals for the future to take your focus off trying to go back to something you probably shouldnāt.
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Depressionš
Break ups bring up a whirlwind of emotions, and it can be hard to deal with them all. This can lead to a deep sadness that starts to feel like depression. Memories of what life was like during your relationship may surface, and it can be hard to remember what life was like before. Thinking about the future can be tiring. If you find yourself having a hard time getting out of bed or feeling tired, you may be going through this stage. Try to surround yourself with loved ones, and donāt succumb to binge eating or drinking.
Acceptance
The last stage is the best stage in our opinion. Youāve accepted that the breakup has happened. You feel like you can finally let out a breath youāve been holding in and can start feeling a little optimistic regarding the future. You feel like yourself again and you feel relieved that youāve made it through š We do say donāt be surprised if you feel sad from time to time still, but know that you are strong.
Hopefully knowing the stages of a break up will help you as youāre going through it, but just know, youāre not alone! ā¤ļø
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