I own up to it, I'm really bad at expressing my emotions. My mom and dad are fabulous parents, however, in my house, we didn't express anything. We skirted around the issues, we didn't deal with them head-on. To my surprise, when I got married to a girl, I had to learn to deal with my emotions and start to express them. She pushed me, pressed me and gently coaxed me into feeling more comfortable and getting to know how I feel and what I feel. It was good but hard – if you are a girl like me, still bad at expressing emotions, don't worry, I got you.
Relate? Sometimes, I would come off as really cold. Sometimes, I would sink down into a coldness or distance that would make my now-wife feel as though I hated her. It wasn't hate, ever, it was just that I didn't know how to express myself in an easy way.
There is never tension but it can seem like there is sometimes. There can even seem like there is a huge vibe in the air when really, there isn't. Trust me, there isn't anything wrong, we are just processing or we are completely fine but we can't admit to that.
Nope. I can't. It's almost like I am frozen in space and time and I can't make the first move. Keep that in mind! Sometimes, you might need to push a little bit and make the first move.
I'm never dishonest but again, that coldness and that distance creep the hell up on you and it can feel as though I'm lying about something. You girls ever feel like that? This again isn't something that I can help. I am being honest, it's just I can't express my feelings correctly all the time.
In the beginning, it might seem like I am just distracted, but truth be told, I need it, especially if I feel like you are getting too close. It helps keep me in check and keep me sane.
Trust me, it's a huge, huge deal whenever I open up. It isn't something that comes natural and when I do it, it's huge. Keep that in mind if I am telling you about my past or something important.
It happens. I will joke when I can't deal with my emotions and they might be at the worst time. I also won't apologize fro it, but as I get more comfortable, it'll be better. It'll also stop. This might happen the first time that I meet your family or the first time that we go out.
So, now that you know the ground rules, would you want to date me? Would you be patient with me? That's all it will take is a bit of patience and some understanding.
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