There are so many rules, dos and don'ts, and pieces of advice related to dating. Most of them seem to contradict each other, plus they set up unrealistic expectations. The truth is, no relationship is rosy all the time. Dating isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Nothing is ever perfect. You may feel and experience some odd or weird things, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship. You can behave the following ways when you're dating and you're still totally “normal,” whatever that may be.
In time, you get more comfortable with your partner. That's totally natural. You may stop wearing high heels quite so often. It's likely that you won't mind wearing your sweat pants, prancing around in your ratty underwear, or being completely naked. It doesn't mean anything's wrong.
You won't always feel like sex. Your partner won't always feel like sex. It might be harder for you to feel sexy. It might take longer to get aroused. There are things you can do to fix that. Communication is definitely key -- you absolutely have to talk to each other -- but there are also sexy things you can do together.
It happens. Heather and I frequently spend time apart and I honestly think that's why we're still so happy together -- and happier every day. Sometimes you just need a break. It doesn't mean you don't love each other. It doesn't mean you don't want to spend time with each other. It just means you don't want to spend ALL your time together.
Similarly, you don't have to do everything together. You shouldn't even expect it. You need your own hobbies, interests, and passions. That's why it's also so important to have separate friends.
That first blissful month might not always be so blissful. The first six months might be a little rough. You might weather quite a few stormy patches during the first year. That's okay. Arguing is okay. You'll know if it gets toxic.
Sometimes you just have to. Your partner may feel the same way. There will be times when you want to be alone, when you don't want to talk or share, and when you just need your own space. That's okay. Your relationship isn't doomed.
I don't mean you're actually trying to get with other people. You can be crazy in love and still find other people attractive, though. It absolutely does not mean your partner's not enough for you, not by any means. Don't worry, my friend.
Every relationship is different – each one is a snowflake. I'm not even being snarky there, it's true. Have you ever worried about something like this in your relationship?
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