It can be difficult to find a boyfriend with traits of a true gentleman. However, chivalry is certainly not dead. Since times are changing, the way we perceive perfection is evolving. Traits of a true gentleman aren’t the same now as they were in Victorian times. Here are some of the modern qualities that we’d all love our guys to have:
One of the traits of a true gentleman is patience. Men, sometimes without realizing it, will push you to be physical. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can make you uncomfortable if you’re not ready to move forward. A true gentleman will understand your desire to wait, and he won’t judge you if you agree to move fast. He won’t question your morals, and he’ll fully support whatever decision you make.
A true gentleman is respectful and understanding of a woman's boundaries. He shows patience when it comes to physical intimacy and never pressures a woman to move faster than she is comfortable with. He respects her decisions and does not judge her for them. He is also a good listener and will take the time to understand her feelings and opinions. Furthermore, a true gentleman is chivalrous and treats women with kindness and respect. He is attentive and generous, always putting the woman's needs first. He is also a good friend and will always be there for her in times of need.
When he meets your parents, you’re not worried about what he’ll say. He’s never inappropriate, so you won’t spend all of dinner kicking him beneath the table. Of course, he’ll do some traditional things as well. He’ll pull out your chair for you and hold open doors. Most importantly, he’ll treat you like you deserve to be treated.
Real gentlemen act a bit differently than princes in Disney films do. He's not going to go around singing and dancing in order to declare his love for you. Your relationship is going to be raw and real. Life isn’t a G rated movie and cursing isn’t the end of the world. If he swears in excitement or anger, let it slide. It’s nothing to be angry about. Although, if his curses are aimed at you, that’s another story.
Please and thank you are tiny words with a big impact. It’s important for a man--or anyone for that matter--to show appreciation. Small comments can make someone’s day. Don't you love when your hair is unexpectedly complimented? Or the way the woman at the grocery store counter always shares her wisdom? You want your man to be nice to waiters and to smile at passersby. He’ll be the friendly stranger they wish they knew, but you’re lucky enough to be with forever.
Everyone’s allowed to get angry, but a gentleman handles his annoyance in a serene way. When the highway is clogged with traffic, he doesn’t give the middle finger to his fellow drivers. When he’s bothered by his boss, he doesn’t throw out slurs. He knows how to handle his temper. He doesn’t let his frustration alter his personality.
He would never take advantage of a girl. He would never steal. He would never drink and drive. In other words, he wouldn’t do anything that he believes is wrong. He has strong morals, so he knows what his limits are.
He won’t tell inappropriate jokes. He won’t push you to talk about a subject that unnerves you. He’ll make sure that he’s not doing anything that would make you uncomfortable. When you’re around him, you’re completely at ease. Except for the butterflies in your stomach, of course.
A true gentleman agrees to disagree and respects other people's opinion. Especially in todays society, everybody wants to throw in their own two cents and there is nothing worse than having someone there trying to make you see things the way they see them. A true man knows how to respect different opinions instead of just selfishly demanding you to comply to his.
One of the most important characteristics of being a gentleman is having punctuality. There should never be a time when he makes you wait unless there is a legitimate excuse. A respectful gentleman will never let his lady wait for him and instead will make sure to show up five minutes in advance.
Although appearance is not a deal breaker, every gentleman knows how to take care of himself and dress for success each time. Appearance accurately reflects your attitude and your state of mind, so if he is not put together it is more than likely he is cluttered on the inside too. In the end it is all about how you present yourself, and every gentleman knows how to clean up well.
Every respected man sticks by his word and stays true to what he believes in. While at times it can be quite impossible not to change your mind, a gentleman follows the code of loyalty and stands by what he believes in. You can trust on him to always be honest with you and never hurt you on purpose.
A real gentleman is hard working, passionate and diligent. He knows what he wants and he is not afraid to do anything he needs to get it. Every woman finds determination attractive, it is comforting to know that your man has goals and dreams, and he is not just going to wait for a miracle to happen.
When you picture a gentleman, you visualize a charming man with etiquette, morals and hygiene. He is the perfect balance of a flirt and a respectful man. He knows when to throw in a humorous comment and when to express his wisdom. His aura is just pleasant to be around, it's almost addicting!
Great guys are out there. Some day, you’ll be lucky enough to stumble across one or two. What other traits do you think define a man as a true gentleman?
This article was written in collaboration with editor Vladlena Lee.