Birth order plays a part in our personality. This affects your friendships, relationships, career and many other areas of your life. You may not have every characteristic of your birth order but you probably see some in yourself. These’re some specific relationship struggles that can occur when you’re a firstborn and he’s the baby.
1. He Tries to Scoot by the Serious Issues in Your Relationship
The baby of the family is accustomed to getting by with things. If your man is the baby, he probably doesn’t want to deal with serious issues. He thinks if he avoids it long enough, it’ll go away. It can be difficult to get him to deal with issues. But it’s important in order to have a healthy relationship.
2. Your Fixation with Perfectionism is Confusing to Him
Firstborns are classic perfectionists. I know because I’m a firstborn and I’ve battled perfectionism my entire life. It’s a struggle for me to accept adequate when I see the potential for outstanding. My husband, who’s the baby of the family, has never quite grasped why I feel the need to go above and beyond with anything I take on. Discussing your inner drive to give nothing less than your best can help him understand you better.
3. He Thinks Comedy is the Answer to Frustrating Situations
There’s a good thing about being in a relationship with someone who’s the baby of the family. They’re almost always hilariously funny. That’s great when you’re in a “laugh or you’ll cry” situation but there comes a time you have to deal with frustrating situations. So his humor can be both a good thing and a bad thing. Avoidance is a skill that a baby of the family excels at so it can take time to learn to handle things together.
4. Your Organized Approach to Life Clashes with His Fly by the Seat of His Pants Approach
As a firstborn, you probably have an organized approach to life. As a baby, he probably floats through the days, comfortable with wherever life takes him. That’s not to say he doesn’t have goals but he allows fate to have more of a hand in bringing them his way than you do. It’s okay that you each have a unique approach to life but it can cause some clashes between you when you want to plan a future together.
5. He’s Comfortable Letting You Handle Things
A firstborn can become overly responsible, taking on more than they should. And a baby is totally okay with that, because they’re used to others taking care of things for them. This sounds like a match made in heaven but it can backfire. The firstborn can end up feeling like they’ve got too much on their plate. The baby can end up feeling out of the loop. Therefore, it’s best to share responsibilities equally.
6. You Can Come across as Bossy
Be careful, firstborns. You only want to be helpful but you can come across as bossy and no guy enjoys that. This’s something you can overcome, though. Make it a point to ask your guy his thoughts and get his input. Make it a habit of making decisions together.
7. His Optimism Can Be a Bit over the Top
Optimism is a great thing! We all need it in our life. But when it goes so far as to ignore the reality of a situation, it’s an issue. Firstborns are very realistic, sometimes even pessimistic. They baby of a family can be over the top optimistic. As with many other areas of a relationship, you have to work to find middle ground.
Happy and fulfilling relationships are possible with any combination of birth order. Sometimes it just takes a little effort to make your relationship work. What’s the birth order combo of you and your guy?