In today’s society, real focus and connection are quite rare and you could even say that “We have an epidemic of fake listening,” according to Nick Morgan, speech coach. People like to smile and nod a lot to show you that they are paying attention to what you are saying but things are quite different since most of the time, they actually think about what they are going to say next. This thing happens also in a relationship when the two partners are having an argument and neither of them is really listening. If you want to learn how to fight fair and how to compromise, then you need to learn how to be more assertive and how to improve your communication skills. Here are a few signs he’s not listening to you that you should consider:
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1. He Smiles for Too Long
If you want to figure out if your partner is listening to you then pay attention to the way he smiles. If he smiles too brightly and for too long, then this may be a sign that he is not paying attention to you. He may smile in encouragement and to show you that he is there with you, when in reality he is thinking about something else.
2. He Taps His Fingers
Impatience can be one of the signs that someone is not listening to you. When you talk to your significant other and you notice that he is tapping his fingers, he is doodling or he is checking his smartphone, then you should start wondering if he is really paying attention to what you are saying.
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3. He Fidgets
When you talk to your partner and you notice that they are constantly playing with their hair, they are tapping their foot or they are frequently shifting in their seat, then you should think about the possibility that they are not listening to what you are saying. The fact that they are not able to sit still and they are in constant motion is one of the signs that their attention is not focused.
4. His Body is Turned Away from You
When someone is paying attention to you, their whole body is faced towards you. If, when you are talking to your partner, you notice that their body is pointed away from you or that they lean back in the conversation, you should know that they are putting distance between you and that they are not really listening to what you are saying.
5. He Doesn’t Mirror Your Body Language
When two people are in sync in a conversation, they are also mirroring their body language, more precisely, they are synchronizing their body movements. They move at the same time in the same way and they do this unconsciously. This way, they are showing you that they are connecting with you and that they are paying attention to what you are saying.
6. Their Eye Contact is Too Fixed
A real conversation is relaxed rather than tense. If you notice that your partner’s eye contact is too fixed or that their head is too still, then you should start wondering if they are paying attention to your conversation or if they are possibly thinking about something else.
7. Their Feet Are Pointed towards the Door
If you are looking for a true indicator of someone’s feelings, just watch their feet. If they are not interested in your conversation and they are not listening to you, then their entire body seems like they want to escape so their feet are usually pointed toward the door.
Since good communication is key to a healthy and long-lasting, happy relationship, you should always work on improving your listening skills and you should also learn how to be more assertive. Do you know any other signs that he is not listening to you? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
Sources:
businessinsider.com
Comments
Nia: I agree that four and five are perfect signals or indications of a disconnection. I know when people are attracted to you they mimic/ mirror your actions. Also I know you can tell when someone wants to end a conversation with you because they will direct their feet towards the exit. This is a helpful article.
Jessica: That makes me sad
Harlea: Honestly go by your feelings and gut, some of these I can't agree on like touching hair or finger thing because it could be two things on he worried/scared I t could be something he born with
peony: Well in a way men also are not into details so the more women talk the more th e zone. They need straightforward talk short and to the point so if he appears to be ignoring you maybe you should also look at yourself it does take to tango after all!
Kailee: If I feel like my guy hasn't been listening, I just ask him, if he say yes I heard everything you said I might ask him "what did I say hunnie" and when he hasn't listened which is becoming seriously annoying, he changes the subject...GOTCHA. It really hurts when he doesn't listen becuz I'm a straight shooter, I give so much of myself emotionally and knowing he wasn't listening stings...
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