If you're in a relationship, you might not be watching out for warning signs that your boyfriend is a jerk to everyone. Love is blind, girls. When I was with a guy, I didn't realize that he was a complete tool, even though my friends and family all saw it! If you have a suspicions that your boyfriend might be one too, you definitely want to take a look at my warning signs that your boyfriend is a jerk!
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1. He is Narcissistic
Is he obsessed with himself? Does every sentence that comes out of his mouth start with 'I'? This is totally one of the signs that your boyfriend is a jerk, girls! He should care about what is going on with you, not just with him. He should also care about the world around him, not just himself. If the world revolves around your boyfriend, in his mind, it might be because he's a jerk!
2. Constantly Annoyed with You
What about the annoyance factor? Does he constantly say that you are pissing him off and that you are annoying him? That could hurt anybody's feelings but if he doesn't seem to care at all, why be with him? Your boyfriend should be loving and shouldn't be constantly annoyed with you.
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If your presence seems to get on his nerves for no justified reason, it's a clear red flag. You deserve to feel cherished, not criticized at every turn. Remember, a healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect and affection, not constant barbs and put-downs. Don't settle for a partner who is quick to belittle rather than uplift you. Always trust your gut—if you're often left feeling small and insignificant, it might be time to reconsider the relationship's worth.
Frequently asked questions
If he's constantly putting you down, ignoring your feelings, or being selfish, these are strong signs your boyfriend might be a jerk.
Sometimes people just show their true colors over time. He might be going through something or this could just be who he is. Either way, it's not okay to be treated badly.
If he's consistently treating you poorly and it's making you unhappy, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who respects and loves you.
Absolutely! Look out for things like him belittling you, not taking responsibility for his actions, and having little to no empathy towards your feelings.
People can change, but they have to want to change. If he acknowledges his behavior and makes a real effort, there's hope. But don't hang on just on the chance he might change.
3. He Zones out when You Are Talking
When you are telling him how your day is and what is going on with you, does he constantly zone you out? Does he constantly just block out everything you are saying or have you repeat it because he wasn't listening? That, my dears, is definitely one of the signs that your boyfriend is a jerk.
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If he can't be bothered to give you the common courtesy of his attention, it's a huge red flag. A partner who values you and your feelings will make an effort to listen, even if they've had a long day. Nobody wants to feel like they're talking to a wall, so if he's consistently disengaged, consider it a clear signal that he doesn't prioritize your communication. This behavior shows a lack of respect for you and what you have to share, and you deserve to be heard.
4. Obsesses over His Appearance
Not only is he obsessed with everything about him, but does he constantly obsess over his appearance? Does he comb his hair a million times? Tan over and over again? Obsess over what clothes to wear? That all goes hand in hand with him being a complete jerk, ladies! After all, do you really want a guy that is completely in love with himself?
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If he's spending more time in front of the mirror than you do and his vanity knows no bounds, it's a red flag. He might critique your appearance too, expecting you to maintain an impossible standard while he indulges in his own superficial perfection. True partners focus on building each other up, not tearing down confidence. A little self-care is one thing, but an over-the-top obsession is another. Don't let his self-absorption blind you—it's a trait that often goes hand-in-hand with disrespect and disregard for others’ feelings.
5. He Can't Take a Joke at His Expense
While he is constantly making fun of you and making jokes at your expense, does he have a really hard time taking a joke at his expense? Even if the joke is totally innocent? That could be a sign that not only is he insecure, but he actually is a moody jerk.
6. He Talks down to Everyone
How does he talk to you? How does he talk to everyone? Is he kind in his words? How do you feel after you've talked to him? If you feel smaller than you did before you talked to him, it could be one of the signs that he is a complete jerk. Your boyfriend should make you feel good – not like you are 2 inches tall!
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When engaging in conversation, does he patronize or belittle your thoughts and feelings? It's crucial to notice if he exhibits disrespect towards others, whether it be waitstaff or your closest friends. A significant other should uplift and respect those around him, not exert dominance through discouraging language or a condescending tone. Always pay attention to the way he communicates; does he offer supportive words or is it a barrage of belittlement? It's these subtle, yet consistent actions that reveal his true character.
7. Checks out Other Girls in Front of You
Girls, if the guy that you are dating is constantly checking out other girls, constantly looking at other people right in front of you, that's the classic sign that he is a jerk! He should be focused on you and you should have most of his attention because that's really disrespectful.
8. It's Never His Fault
Is your boyfriend the kind of guy who NEVER does anything wrong? Is it your fault that he was late for work or his friend's fault that he got a speeding ticket? This guy can do no wrong and he lets everyone know it, but how about some accountability? If he can't take responsibility for his actions and admit when he messes up, he's not worthy of your time.
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When everything goes awry, somehow you're the one always apologizing. You’ve got to wonder, does he even believe in the word “sorry”? This perpetual dodge of culpability isn't just frustrating; it's emotionally draining and can strip the mutual respect from your relationship. A solid partnership should be rooted in a balanced give-and-take dynamic, not a one-man show of innocence. You deserve someone who can face the music and dance to it with you, not someone who sidesteps every chance to grow and improve as a couple.
9. He Tries to Make You Jealous
There is such a thing as healthy jealousy in a relationship, but a guy who goes out of his way to make you jealous is a jerk! I've known guys who purposely try to get girls fighting over him just to make themselves feel important-is that sick or what? Maybe he frequently compares you to his ex or brings up the ample assets of your friends. This is not acceptable behavior and you shouldn't tolerate it!
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Moreover, if he's consistently highlighting how other women are into him, or if he flirts outrageously when you're around, it's a clear red flag. This kind of behavior is designed to rattle your confidence and keep you on your toes. A good partner uplifts you, not drags you into a twisted game of insecurity. Remember, a relationship is not a competition, and anyone who loves and respects you would never use your emotions as a playground. Don't be fooled; this isn't love, it's manipulation.
10. He's Always Broke
Let me preface this by saying that being broke is not bad, but in the case where you're paying for everything, it is. It's one thing to be low on cash so the two of you don't splurge on lavish gifts and fancy dinners. But, if he's supposedly dirt poor yet he expects you to pay for it all, he could be happy just being supported by you. I've seen it happen many times where a guy is very generous in the beginning; but once he's comfortable, he conveniently forgets his wallet every time the bill arrives. There's nothing wrong with treating him sometimes, but if he's unwilling to share the costs, cut him off. You are not his sugar mama.
11. He Always Jumps to Conclusions
Is your guy always suspicious? Does he always call you to see what you're doing or who you're with? For a faithful girlfriend, this behavior is totally unnecessary and annoying. You've never given him a reason not to trust you; so why is he always checking up on you or accusing you of wrongdoing? It might come across as protective or sweet in the beginning, but chances are, he's possessive and controlling.
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Jumping to conclusions without clear evidence is a classic red flag that cannot be ignored. This kind of behavior could create a toxic atmosphere where you're constantly walking on eggshells. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and without it—no matter how much you love each other—things will eventually crumble. You should be able to enjoy your personal space and time without feeling guilty or having to provide constant updates on your whereabouts. A partner who respects and trusts you will have confidence in your commitment and won't need to issue baseless accusations.
12. He Never Asks How You're Doing
Much like the point about being narcissistic, he just doesn't seem to care about you. Does you boyfriend ever ask how your day was? Does he notice that something is wrong, but doesn't care to ask why? Well, your boyfriend is probably a jerk. Of course, sometimes he may just have a lot going on, but if this is a regular occurrence - he just doesn't care.
13. He Pressures You
If you ever feel like he's pushing you into doing something you don't want to do, don't give in. It may feel hard in the moment to say no to whatever it may be, but you'll feel better in the end. You never want to look back and feel like you lived your entire relationship doing things you didn't want to do.
14. He Brings up Your Old Mistakes
We all make mistakes. When it comes down to it we have forgive the people in our lives sometimes and we should never bring up their past in a way meant to hurt them. Any time someone, whether it be your boyfriend or anyone else in your life, brings up your old mistakes to make you feel bad that's something that you should take note of.
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It's a cruel tactic for belittlement and control. No one should weaponize your history to keep you feeling insecure or ashamed. Genuine love allows room for growth and accepts that we evolve beyond our past actions. If your boyfriend constantly digs up old dirt, it's a red flag indicating his unwillingness to move forward constructively in the relationship. Recognize this behavior as a ploy to undermine your confidence rather than an attempt to address current issues in a healthy manner.
15. He Doesn't Listen
If you have to repeat yourself multiple times before he retains anything, he's probably a jerk. A guy that never listens also probably never remembers the important things. If the person you're dating doesn't know the basics about you, like your birthday or your best friend's name, you may want to reconsider being with him.
So girls, how did your guy measure up? Is your boyfriend a classic jerk? Does he carry any of these signs? I know that the guy I was with oh-so-long ago certainly did!
This article was written in collaboration with editors Lisa Washington and Lydia Sheehan.
Comments
Dirk: U know what…I am a boyfriend who feels like the girlfriend hates him all the time and blames me for everything…I just hate it and hope that females will understand that some males…(NOT ALL) feel left out, hted, and totally worthless!
Vee: Omg my boyfriend has all these it is scary. We fight all the time he manage to make me lose all my friends and wants to take my family away from me. Keep me away and keeps only his high ego about him. Thank you this is an eye opener. =)
Lauren: I\'m disappointed with my bf. I feel like he displays all of those. But the worst part is, that I feel like I can\'t let go of him. He makes jokes all the time that hurt my feelings, but then goes to say; \"I\'m just messing with you! You take everything so seriously!\". He makes jokes about other attractive girls. He\'ll tell me; \"Oh yeah, future wifey right there!\", and he knows it bothers me, because I\'ve told him before. Yet, he doesn\'t seem to care. He\'s always making comments about how good looking he thinks he is. I mean, yeah. I obviously think he\'s good looking too, but he\'s always touching his hair, or spending forever in front of the mirror combing it. He\'s asked me about his clothes before. Whether they look good enough for him to wear to school or wherever. Almost as if he\'s trying to impress someone. We don\'t really fight a lot. But I feel like maybe a lot of things go unsaid. Its weird, because one moment he makes me feel on top of the world, and the next he acts so distant. I don\'t know whats going on. But at the same time, I just wish we could make things work. :/ It seems like he was so much more nice to me in the beginning, but I guess that was just a part of his game/the courting process. Now, he has me and he just doesn\'t care anymore. I feel so foolish. :(
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