If you want to know if you are dating a narcissist, it first helps to really understand what a narcissist is. Narcissism is far more than arrogance and vanity. It is actually a mental condition recognized by psychologists. People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized as being self-obsessed, dangerously manipulative, charming, and showing a lack of empathy for others. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a perfect date - not!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:

Successfully subscribed!

Thank you for subscribing! Check your inbox for personalized content.

1. Charming and Confident

Unfortunately, narcissists can be very attractive. I bet if any girl were to name off characteristics of a man she was interested in dating, charm and confidence would rank high on the list. These are also two main traits of a narcissist, making it hard to avoid dating such people.

2. Large Group of Friends

Popularity is cool. But we have to wonder, are these really friends or are they little minions? Narcissists are interested in just any type of friend. What they really want are people who will look up to them and idolize them. Pay attention to how the one you are dating interacts with their friends. If the friends are constantly stroking his ego, you might be in for trouble.

3. Lack of Boundaries

It is no secret that a narcissist doesn’t care for rules or limits. They see these things as challenges, not safety precautions. It is likely this behavior will affect relationships too. If you aren’t into someone who will push your limits then walk away now.

4. History of Bad Breakups

Ask your man about his past relationships. Why did he and his ex break up? What about the one before that? If you start to see a pattern of messy relationships that end with dramatic breakups, you might be dating a narcissist.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Control Issues

Narcissists like to control everything. I bet that kind of control is draining. They have a plan for everything and don’t deal well when things don’t go as they had hoped. Man, can you imagine raising a family with someone who has extreme control issues? Here’s a secret: babies don’t care about your plans. They have their own and they win.

Gallery Spotlight

Save and share the images that inspire you. Tag @allwomenstalk to get featured.

6. Lack of Emotions

In general, narcissists lack emotion. They find them to be a sign of weakness. If you are an emotional person, a narcissist will not be able to relate to your feelings on any level and will find your behavior annoying and confusing. Also, because they lack emotions, don’t expect them to care much about how you feel.

7. OverPowers Conversations

Are you a mute? If you are, this might be a perfect set up for you because you may never get the chance to talk again. However, if you like to have an interactive two-way conversation then forget this guy. He likes to talk about himself too much to care about what you have to say.

These are just some traits of a narcissist. Don’t think you can change these characteristics about a person or that it will get better with time. I promise you it won’t. Forget this man’s charm and move on. There are far better guys to date than a narcissist.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:

Successfully subscribed!

Thank you for subscribing! Check your inbox for personalized content.

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Dani - narcissism and bipolar disorder are NOWHERE near the same thing. Please don't spread around false facts and further stigmatise the word for something it's not, and making it sound so much worse. Yes, if youre unhappy, leave. But don't toss around mental disorders just because you think they're not good for you.

Run as fast and far as you can before he throws you into an abyss you can't get out of. I wasted so much time on him before I realized what he was. 😔

I can relate to you EI ugh I wished I hadn't had 3 kids with him! It's so exhausting but I'm waiting for the right time to kick his ass to the curb, biggest mistake ever !!!!!!

4 years of wasted time with a narcissist. You cannot change them. They will continue to hurt the people closest to them and not give a damn no matter what they say.

Run get out!!!

Ugh!!! Kailee's comment bringing back a time of discovery and growth for me. Under the same umbrella as a cluster B personality disorder is Borderline Personality Disorder. While BPD has it's own set of 9 specific criteria, the majority of individuals afflicted with BPD are often comorbid with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As Alyx pointed out, possessing narcissistic traits is not the same as being diagnosed with NPD. We are all narcissistic to some degree. When the degree of narcissism becomes extreme along a spectrum is when it affects relationships adversely. Take heed in the comments from Meta, Kailee, peony blue, alka, Daniboo301, Jojo, Kat, Krenx and El. As you begin to develop a "relationship" with a person who is afflicted with BPD/NPD, you are entering their perception of reality . . . guaranteed to end unlike any interaction you have experienced in the past; totally destructive especially if your romantic interest is high-functioning. Little or no accountability. When difficulty eventually arises, it will be projected back on you. Intoxicating on the front end, when the end rears it's head, it will make no sense to those who think logically. Much like Kailee's description, (roller coaster) it's like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. The person you thought you knew is wearing a mask. It's a childhood defense mechanism that has existed long before you entered their life. It's a facade that will crack when we eventually prove to be human and therefore become "imperfect" and not the person they idealized in the initial stages. You will become totally worthless, devalued overnight in their black-and-white world. You can't change them. Go for the nearest exit, run, and don't look back. Count your blessings if you were able to leave before marriage and children.

I just got out of a relationship wit a narcissist I'm as happy as can be now. He pulled me so down. I was so depressed all the time and had no idea why and then I realised it was because of him so advice to girls if ur boyfriend has a narcissistic personality or biopolor and u not happy get out and run.

I have been with my partner 2 years we both have a child each from previous relationships but they have no idea about there biological parents. Its just the 4 of us. My son worships the ground he walks on. My partner has many issues that no one else is aware of. He is certainly a narcissist. I can not put up with it any longer. I have deep depression due to all of this, of course he does not understand any of this which causes problems in its self. We have a joint tenency on our house. He spends all the money so im getting in debt with bills too. He also has a bit of an alcohol problem on top of all the other things. Ive packed and told him i am leaving many times but he thinks i will never follow it through. I dont have the money to get my own place to live. So im kinda stuck in this hell hole. He says ALL the right things like i need to change or i will loose you and the kids has a few good days and then back to how he was before. I just dont know how to leave or where to go. 😢 i cant handle any more hurt my little boy and me are both suffering i wish he could just step up. I went out alone once and still to this day i grt accused of cheating that day so ive not done anything my self since, yet he says he trusts me... i hate how it is at the moment. My son lives with my dad and my other halfs problems means i see my son less and less when he is around. If he goes i can have my son back. I just have no idea how to get out with out making my self homeless and breaking my sons heart he is nearly 4 at the end of October.

I dated a narcissistic sociopath. It's terrifying.

Been there, done that.Dramatic break up you say, oh yes, he decided to brutally rape me after I had ended the relationship.I didn't let him get away with it that easily, I made his life a living hell and in proud.Narccist nead to learn that they can't get away with everything!