You expect your boyfriend to only have eyes for you. But you might have a funny feeling that he's not over his ex. Your boyfriend isn’t likely to admit he’s still thinking about his ex girlfriend. However, little signs can help you assess if he is, or isn't over her.
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1. Her Name Comes up - a Lot
If your boyfriend mentions his ex-girlfriend's name once in a blue moon, there’s probably nothing to worry about. But if her name starts coming up more and more, he might secretly have feelings for her. This means that she's on his mind. Most people only think about those they care about.
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2. He Hates Her with a Passion
If he’s strongly passionate about how much he hates or dislikes her, and constantly talks about the bad things she did in the relationship, he hasn’t emotionally moved on from the break up. One sign of getting over an ex is being able to let go and put the past behind him.
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3. He Makes Comparisons
If your boyfriend compares you to his ex and you come out on top, you probably don’t have a reason to worry. On the other hand, if these comparisons make her look good, and he’s bringing attention to what you don’t do, he might be trying to mold you into his ex.
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4. He Hasn't Given Back Her Stuff
Another sign that your boyfriend might not be over his ex: he’s still holding onto memories of the relationship. He might keep pictures of his ex or gifts she's given hime. Keeping a gift might not be a big deal, but he could be holding onto this stuff just in case they reconcile and get back together.
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5. There’s a Lot of Communication
Your boyfriend giving his ex-girlfriend a birthday shout out on Facebook can be innocent. But if the communication is frequent, be suspicious. Your boyfriend might say she's one of his best friends. But if you feel that they're spending way too much time together, or if they frequently talk via social media or through text messaging, he might not be completely over his ex.
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Regular, in-depth conversations could be a red flag, especially if the topics are nostalgic or intimate. Trust your intuition—if their chats seem to cover more shared memories than current events, it's a concern. It's also about boundaries; whether he's hiding these interactions or being overly transparent to avoid suspicion, the emotional content is key. If their exchange feels like it crosses the line from friendly to emotionally charged, it's time to have an open and honest conversation about where you both stand.
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6. They Recently Broke up
It takes time to get over a break up. So if you’re in a new relationship with a guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend a few days or weeks ago, chances are he's not completely over her. In this case, you might be the rebound relationship. And if he still has strong feelings for her, there's a chance that they'll get back together.
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If he brings her up frequently in conversation, even if it’s to complain, that's a clear signal he’s still processing his feelings. Remember, indifference, not hate, is the true opposite of love. Be wary if he's comparing the two of you or if her belongings are still dotted around his living space—these are signs he hasn't fully let go. Trust your instincts and look for patterns, because unless they're replaced with memories you both create, the shadow of a past love might just be too large for a new romance to take root.
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7. You Have a Gut Feeling
The fact that your boyfriend communicates with his ex or holds onto a memory of the relationship doesn't always mean he's thinking about her. At the end of the day, you have to go with your gut feeling. If you believe he still has romantic feelings for her, then he probably does.
If you suspect that your boyfriend isn’t over his ex, don't immediately break off the relationship. Talk with him and share your suspicions. He might come clean or he might deny having feelings for her. After talking about the situation, you have to do what you feel is best for you - even if it’s breaking up.
What are other signs that a boyfriend isn't over his ex?
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