How to Tell if Your Man Has Truly Moved from His Ex ...

By Valencia • Sep 13, 2016 MD

You expect your boyfriend to only have eyes for you. But you might have a funny feeling that he's not over his ex. Your boyfriend isn’t likely to admit he’s still thinking about his ex girlfriend. However, little signs can help you assess if he is, or isn't over her.

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1. Her Name Comes up - a Lot

If your boyfriend mentions his ex-girlfriend's name once in a blue moon, there’s probably nothing to worry about. But if her name starts coming up more and more, he might secretly have feelings for her. This means that she's on his mind. Most people only think about those they care about.

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2. He Hates Her with a Passion

If he’s strongly passionate about how much he hates or dislikes her, and constantly talks about the bad things she did in the relationship, he hasn’t emotionally moved on from the break up. One sign of getting over an ex is being able to let go and put the past behind him.

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3. He Makes Comparisons

If your boyfriend compares you to his ex and you come out on top, you probably don’t have a reason to worry. On the other hand, if these comparisons make her look good, and he’s bringing attention to what you don’t do, he might be trying to mold you into his ex.

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4. He Hasn't Given Back Her Stuff

Another sign that your boyfriend might not be over his ex: he’s still holding onto memories of the relationship. He might keep pictures of his ex or gifts she's given hime. Keeping a gift might not be a big deal, but he could be holding onto this stuff just in case they reconcile and get back together.

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5. There’s a Lot of Communication

Your boyfriend giving his ex-girlfriend a birthday shout out on Facebook can be innocent. But if the communication is frequent, be suspicious. Your boyfriend might say she's one of his best friends. But if you feel that they're spending way too much time together, or if they frequently talk via social media or through text messaging, he might not be completely over his ex.

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Regular, in-depth conversations could be a red flag, especially if the topics are nostalgic or intimate. Trust your intuition—if their chats seem to cover more shared memories than current events, it's a concern. It's also about boundaries; whether he's hiding these interactions or being overly transparent to avoid suspicion, the emotional content is key. If their exchange feels like it crosses the line from friendly to emotionally charged, it's time to have an open and honest conversation about where you both stand.

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6. They Recently Broke up

It takes time to get over a break up. So if you’re in a new relationship with a guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend a few days or weeks ago, chances are he's not completely over her. In this case, you might be the rebound relationship. And if he still has strong feelings for her, there's a chance that they'll get back together.

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If he brings her up frequently in conversation, even if it’s to complain, that's a clear signal he’s still processing his feelings. Remember, indifference, not hate, is the true opposite of love. Be wary if he's comparing the two of you or if her belongings are still dotted around his living space—these are signs he hasn't fully let go. Trust your instincts and look for patterns, because unless they're replaced with memories you both create, the shadow of a past love might just be too large for a new romance to take root.

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7. You Have a Gut Feeling

The fact that your boyfriend communicates with his ex or holds onto a memory of the relationship doesn't always mean he's thinking about her. At the end of the day, you have to go with your gut feeling. If you believe he still has romantic feelings for her, then he probably does.

If you suspect that your boyfriend isn’t over his ex, don't immediately break off the relationship. Talk with him and share your suspicions. He might come clean or he might deny having feelings for her. After talking about the situation, you have to do what you feel is best for you - even if it’s breaking up.

What are other signs that a boyfriend isn't over his ex?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • The

    2015-08-29T07:14:02.858Z

    @paris no prob. Stay happy and smile :)
  • Wendyrussell

    2015-08-26T14:45:02.583Z

    I'm good friends with my ex we know each other well after 18 years together. But I have no romantic feelings or lust for him. We are in touch a lot because we have kids. How a person finishes with their ex tells you a lot about them
  • Hanika

    2015-08-26T05:27:45.684Z

    What if it's only number 2?
  • Arti

    2015-08-26T03:56:39.974Z

    Having a gut feeling would only be likely if there is a reason to have that!! You wouldn't have. Guy feeling out of the blue @fjdjsjd
  • MsMye

    2016-09-14T11:49:38.915Z

    ❤️❤️❤️
  • Maja

    2016-09-15T00:56:36.132Z

    @karla yeah probably. But I would go with 'follow your gut' , if you feel that he's still got her on his mind or if he keeps comparing and talking about her, then it's probably best to end things before it gets too complicated.
  • Lindsay

    2015-08-26T03:26:25.858Z

    You should split if you feel it in you gut. I know "my guy" still has feelings for his ex, it's totally obvious. I'm just not sure how to handle the situation.
  • Katelyn

    2015-08-26T22:08:59.022Z

    Where is 1?
  • Momo

    2016-09-15T17:16:28.691Z

    I'd go with gut feeling, it's almost never wrong.
  • Rama1104

    2015-08-27T10:52:28.335Z

    What if
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