No matter how long you have waited, or didn’t, or how hot the chemistry is between you both, the first time you have sex is going to either be mind blowing and awkward or mediocre and awkward. Let’s face it, things are a bit bumpy the first time you get down and dirty; anybody who said it was incredible had help from a few strawberry daiquiris or a few cold ones, so here are the top 3 things you can do to not ruin the post-coital bliss.
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1. Don’t Grab Your Phone and Text Your Girlfriends or Buddies Straight Afterwards
Resist the temptation to broadcast the recent events to your guys and gals waiting in the wings, bolted to their phones waiting for the dirty details. They must just wait, or you run the risk of humiliating your date or even worse yourself. It’s the equivalent of your recent bedmate getting up and going to put the TV on in the next room and ignoring you.
2. Don’t Bring up Heavy Conversations
Topics like ‘’Where is this going?, how many people have you slept with, Do you love me? How do you feel about meeting my parents? Did you do that move with your ex-wife? IS THAT IT? should never, ever be brought up, as in ever, after sex, and bringing it up before sex is pretty much going to guarantee that you don’t get anything at all. I am sure you are dying to know, you can over analyze it with anyone and et al afterwards – yes, we are all guilty of that. Don’t make your partner sit through the cardinal sins of post sex behavior when all he/she really wants to do is well, sleep.
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Bringing up intense topics right after getting busy can be like throwing a bucket of ice water on a warm, fuzzy moment. Stick to light, fluffy pillow talk and save the interrogation for your diary or brunch with friends. Remember, timing is everything, and post-coital chats should be all about basking in the afterglow and spooning - not spoon-feeding anxiety. Keep it chill and let the deeper convos unfold naturally, like a rose in the sunshine, not a pop quiz under harsh fluorescent lights.
3. Stay Where You Are
Getting up and bolting out of bed, whipping on your clothes, checking your watch and calling a cab is going to make the person still gasping for breath in bed feel completely used and make you look like a player. You wouldn’t like it if that person did that to you, so why should it be acceptable to make them feel like trash? You may be panicking and having post sex remorse or some other issue, but it is a serious post sex faux pas and you may never be able to recover from it. Jumping straight out of bed belongs only in stable, loving relationships that can afford to take such a blow. Chill out, hang around, cuddle, snooze…who knows you may be around for round two?
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