11 Things NOT to Tell Your Friends about Your Relationship ...

Fawn

11 Things NOT to Tell Your Friends about Your Relationship ...
11 Things NOT to Tell Your Friends about Your Relationship ...

I’m a firm believer that you should share your life with your friends and that it’s important to be able to vent to them about the things in your everyday life. That being said, there are SOME things you should NOT tell your friends about your relationship. This is my list of the things not to tell your friends about your relationship.

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1

Fights

It’s okay to tell your friends about your relationship, it’s even okay to tell them when you get into a fight. But never go into the specifics unless you’re asking for an HONEST opinion. I have a friend that always asks me to tell her if she’s being crazy about a fight that she’s having but she never really wants to hear my opinion, so it's awkward. I can't stress how important this is, and that's why it's at the top of my list of things not to tell your friends about your relationship. Ever.

***

In addition to avoiding discussing fights with friends, there are other things that should not be shared about one's relationship. It is important to keep private details such as salary, financial issues, and any intimate moments between partners. This is especially true if a friend or family member has a history of gossiping.

It is also important to avoid discussing any insecurities or doubts that one might have about their partner. It is normal to have doubts and insecurities, but these should be discussed with the partner directly and not shared with friends. Doing so can create an atmosphere of distrust and can damage the relationship.

It is also important not to compare one's relationship to those of others. Doing so can create feelings of envy and can lead to unhealthy comparisons. Additionally, it is important to avoid discussing any plans for the future with friends. These plans should be discussed with the partner first, and any discussions with friends should be limited to general ideas.

Finally, it is important to avoid discussing any of the partner's flaws or weaknesses with friends. This can create feelings of resentment and can lead to misunderstandings. It is best to discuss any issues with the partner directly and in a respectful manner.

2

Sex

Don’t tell your friends the specifics of your sex life. Don’t tell them about any kinks your boyfriend or girlfriend has because from that point on, your friend will never be able to look them in the eye again.

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Moreover, oversharing can betray your partner's trust and privacy. While it's okay to seek advice or vent occasionally, boundaries are crucial. There's a fine line between a casual chat and divulging intimate details that were meant to be between you and your loved one. Remember, once you've shared something, you can't take it back, and your friend's perspective on your partner may forever be altered by what they know. It's important to respect the sanctity of your bedroom and keep those moments just for the two of you.

3

Money Problems

It’s okay to talk to your friends about money problems of your own but it’s not okay to bring your significant other’s finances into that conversation. A lot of people are very sensitive about what they perceive as weakness and that’s never a line you want to cross.

4

Cheating (if You’re Working It out)

If someone cheats on you and you dump them, feel free to tell all of your friends (and a few strangers) how much of a scumbag they are. But, if you’re working it out, NEVER tell your friends that your significant other cheated. You may forgive them because you love them but your friends love you, and they won’t.

***

When you've decided to mend things after cheating, blabbing to your pals creates an issue that often outlasts the actual act of betrayal. Your friends might hold a grudge long after you've healed, which can put unnecessary strain on your friendship and your relationship. Plus, spilling these beans ensnares your friends in a cycle of awkwardness – they'll be forever giving your partner the side-eye at parties or worse, confronting them. Keep the trust repair between you and your partner, and seek a counselor if you need a confidant – trust me, it's the wiser move.

5

Problems in the Bedroom

Once again, once you talk about this with your friends, they will never look at your partner the same way again. Your friends don’t need to know if you need to talk your significant other in for little blue pills. That’s something you should keep between you and your partner.

***

Discussing intimate aspects of your relationship such as sexual difficulties can be tempting, especially if you're seeking support. However, oversharing such sensitive topics can breed discomfort and unnecessary judgments. It's important to respect your partner's privacy and handle these matters with discretion and empathy. If you need advice or help, consider seeking a professional therapist or a healthcare provider who can offer guidance without compromising the intimate trust you share with your partner. Plus, these professionals are bound by confidentiality, so your secrets are safe with them.

6

Your Significant Other’s Problems

Your friends are YOUR friends, and your partners problems really aren’t yours to share. Let your partner talk about their problems with whoever they choose. It’s not fair for your friends to know everything about your significant other’s life.

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Remember, respecting your partner's privacy is a cornerstone of trust in any relationship. If they confide in you, see it as a sacred trust, not gossip fodder for your next get-together. You wouldn't want your personal setbacks or challenges broadcasted by your partner to their circle, would you? Mutual respect means keeping certain sensitive subjects just between the two of you, unless your partner gives the clear signal that they're okay with others knowing. Balance being a loving partner with being a trustworthy confidant.

7

You Significant Other’s past Relationships

Once again, your friends are YOUR friends. They don’t need to know that four years ago the person your with had his heart broken by an even woman named Tina. If that’s something they want to share with your friends, let them. But that isn’t exactly your place.

***

Delving into the history of your partner's relationships is messy territory, especially when it's with your crew. Everyone has a past, and yes, it's crafted who they are, but spilling about old flames? That's a private affair. Respect their backstory and let them own it. It’s about building trust and not tossing it out like last week’s gossip. Besides, regaling tales of 'the one who got away' isn't going to help strengthen your current love story, now is it? Keep the ex-files closed unless your partner chooses to share.

8

Your Significant Other's past

If your significant other had a troubled childhood or had some embarrassing moments in the past, leave it there. It might seem like a great story to tell your friends so they can get to know your partner better, but it's only going to cause problems when your friends accidentally bring up details from your partner's past.

9

Constant Complaints

Constantly or even frequently complaining about your relationship can spell trouble. Your friends only hear your side of the story so if you're always complaining about how your partner isn't ambitious enough or doesn't do certain things for you, they're going to run with that. Eventually, your friends will start viewing your partner in a negative light and encourage you to break up.

***

It's also worth considering the toll this takes on your perspective and your partner's reputation. Oversharing the negatives without acknowledging the positives will paint an unbalanced picture of your partnership. Plus, constantly venting can feed into a cycle of negativity, where you're more likely to notice and focus on flaws rather than appreciating the good things. This isn't just damaging socially; it's counterproductive for the health of your relationship. After all, if you're not careful, you might start to believe the one-sided story you're telling.

10

Unfounded Suspicions

Let's say you have a feeling that your partner is texting someone on the sly. Don't take this as a sign to plan your stakeout with your friends and come up with a plan of attack. I know what you're thinking, if you suspect something's up with your partner, of course you're going to tell your friends about it or ask for their advice. I get that, but the problem is that these suspicions are unfounded and there could a logical explanation. You can turn it into a huge ordeal with your friends only to find out that he's innocent and while you might be able to move on, your friends will think of him as a cheating jerk.

***

Before getting your friends involved, consider communication with your partner. If you're feeling insecure or uneasy about a situation, the best approach is to open up a dialogue. By expressing your concerns directly, you might discover that your partner was simply organizing a surprise for you, dealing with work-related matters, or chatting with an old friend. Jumping to conclusions without evidence can damage a relationship, creating distrust and unnecessary drama. Plus, if your partner learns you've been discussing your worries with the outside world instead of them, it could hurt their feelings and lead to tension.

11

Comparing

Lastly, comparing your current partner to your ex or your friend's partner will no doubt lead to trouble. Not only are you sharing intimate details about your relationship, comparing can lead to unrealistic expectations which is damaging to a relationship.

I know that we all want to believe that we live in a world like Sex and The City where we can all sit down with our girlfriends and discuss everything about everything in our lives. But, the truth is martinis and cosmos and endless conversation might be great on TV, but in real life they can get a little awkward when you see your Carrie’s Big on the street. What don’t you ladies share with your friends about your relationships? Let me know down below!

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I agree with everyone actually but this is hard to do when you confide in your friends and they are the ones who you vent to. But sharing every detail is a no-no...I'm still learning this.

I completely agree with the article certain things are best not spoken about each person has a different perspective and to tell your partners secrets can turn the wrong way.

There's only one person I tell everything about my relationship to and it's my best friend . We have been honest with each other from day one there's nothing I can't tell her . And my significant other already knew my bond with her going into our relationship so I'm pretty sure he knows that she's my bosom friend :)

Problems

This is hard to follow.

Ooops...

My friends are super cool so they would't tell, but my friends and I have conflicting schedules so I never talk to them anyway.

I strongly disagree, your friends are your friends for a reason... If you can't speak openly about issues perhaps you're not as close as you thought you were. I have 4 girlfriends who share everything, they have been my friends dice high school. So I suppose it depends on the closeness of the relationship.

I disagree with all of them except re sex details. We discuss our arguments with our partners all the time and laugh at how silly men can be. And with regards to ANY of his problems, be it money or what not, those problems are my problems, so if I need to vent to someone else so that he doesn't have to carry any extra burden then I will. A relationship should share those problems

I totally agree with the article..I used to tell my best friend about everything ..and now she hates my boyfriend =\ I wish I had read this article before..

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