Most people think it's only men who are in it for the sex, but I'm here to tell you a lot of girls are just looking for some sexual loving, and there are lots of ways to make clear you just want sex. Guys always think women want a relationship, that we automatically cling on to them the minute we have sex. Truth is, that happens quite a lot. Our hormones create a chemical that makes us want to attach, but doesn't mean we actually always want to have a relationship. Some times we don't like the guy, we just like the way he makes us feel in bed. I'm here to give you 8 ways to make clear you just want sex.
Quiz Complete!
Get notified about new quizzes like this.
1. Be Upfront
Here's the thing, honesty is the best policy. Even though most men won't believe you when you say you just are in it for the sex, you at least need to put it on the table. Remember to be kind if the guy you are hooking up with likes you. Feelings can make it complicated, so make sure you aren't giving him false hope that he is going to be your boyfriend. Telling the truth is one of the best ways to make clear you just want sex.
2. Stay Detached
Staying detached is one of the most important ways to make clear you just want sex. When it comes to any type of communication, keep it simple and to the point. If you are texting, don't make small talk, just pick a time and place you will be meeting. Go ahead and ignore him if he tries to have a conversation with you. It seems a little harsh, but he won't mind when you're calling him later that night to hook up.
Frequently asked questions
3. Double Check Your Motive
A lot of times as girls, we say things just to make a guy like us. I am definitely someone who is at fault for that once or twice in my life. It is important to make sure you are clear on your own feelings around the situation when it comes to ways to make clear you just want sex. If you know the guy you are hooking up with isn't looking for a relationship, but you are, don't belittle yourself into pleasing him for his own sexual pleasure. Find someone who wants to be in a relationship also. It may be disappointing to not get the man you are going after, but the self esteem and empowerment you receive from saying, "No, just sex with you doesn't work for me" is immense.
4. Don't Linger
Here's where things get tricky in the bedroom area. A lot of times after sex people enjoy cuddling, and having pillow talk. The thing with booty calls is you're in, you're out, and there's no after-sex linger. This is really important the first time you sleep with a guy because what you do after play time shows him your true feelings about the situation. After you've hopefully had your world rocked, grab your clothes and hop out of his place. Tell him you'll call him to put the ball in your court, then go ahead and move on with your day or night. This is a key way to make it clear you just want sex.
***
Be disciplined and hold firm to your boundaries. Post-coital attachment can be seductive, but if you're aiming for a no-strings fling, eschew the post-sex snuggle or deep conversation. It's crucial, especially at the beginning, to maintain the dynamic you desire. A cool-down chat might imply more to your partner than intended. Make a graceful exit; a kiss on the cheek, a casual "see you around," and you're out the door. Your swift departure cements the casual nature of your tryst, keeping things simple and straightforward.
5. It's Not about a Date
Chivalry is dead in the case of friends with benefits. Make sure your expectations are in the right place because there will be no dinner and a movie going on. If the guy is asking you out, let him know you aren't looking for that right now. You just want to get to the good stuff at the end of a date. A lot of times, men will feel guilty that they aren't taking you out or seeing you outside the bedroom. Let him know if he brings it up that it was your idea to keep that off the table. It's a way to bruise his ego just enough he can understand not dating is simply a way to make clear you just want to get laid.
6. Make Clear There Are Others
Girls, if you want to make clear you just want sex, this is definitely the way. I'm not telling you to make it seem like you are sleeping with a bunch of guys, but it's important to get the message across that you are dating other men. It's a way to create some jealousy, which is always an ego boost, but also to show your booty call you are open to the idea of finding someone, it just won't be him. The idea is to take any fear away that you could potentially fall for him and want more then what is being offered. This lets him know he really is in the category of friends with benefits.
7. Late Night Calls
Your time frame for communication is a big part of your arrangement. Don't be afraid of making that 2 a.m. phone call to meet up for a quickie. Any call or text after midnight is purely for booty. Men will never be mad you blew up their phone for late at night pleasure. Just remember from my rule above, don't stay the night! If your boy has been blowing up your phone during the day, go ahead and ignore it. Wait till the evening to respond. It's important to talk when the sun goes down, unless your play time is an afternoon delight.
8. Skip the Lingerie
Of course we all want to look sexy in bed. Sometimes putting effort in by wearing a Victoria's Secret night gown is going over board when in an only sexual relationship. Remember, you're showing up for you, not for him. All out sexy lingerie usually is a gift we love to give to our boyfriends and husbands. When it comes to your booty call, match your bottoms and tops, and wear something you feel good in. On the plus side, most men find not trying hard to be the sexiest thing. This is just a boy you're using to feed your needs, so keeping it simple is a way to make clear you just want sex.
All in all, this is pure woman fun. You are treating yourself to some loving, keeping it on your terms, and making sure the guy is clear on everything. Following these 8 simple ways to make clear you just want sex will help take out any messy entanglements that can develop. How have any of these helped you stay in the friends with benefits zone?
Comments
adaw2: This was painful to read. I don't care if it's men or women. If you want pleasure without the human experience, grab a doll. If you want someone who breathes, then tell them from the start what you want and see if they agree. Hinting is what is disgusting. Be mature and don't treat people like things. I'd like to see your face when this is done to you.
Ashleigh: @Samantha Hardy Twigg how so exactly? Many people are completely fine not having a man in their life, they just want to meet their sexual desires though. You don't need a relationship to not feel lonely...
Mister: I'm quite happy to know that there are women who are upfront about their sexual feelings and are not afraid in expressing it to us guys. Kudos ladies!!!
Dani: @samantha the only way you'll feel lonely is if you "feel"...the objective is to NOT FEEL!!! It may sound harsh but this "game" ain't built for everyone! I've found this arrangement to fit in my life at times when I felt the need to just BE ME, DO ME n LIVE FOR JUST ME! It's not selfish, it's just like going to a burger joint n ordering the salad...sometimes a lighter meal satisfies the soul just as good as a heavy meal!!! ;-) its all in how u savor it!
Beau: Makes me sad that I've never come across a woman, like this.
zlati: This is one sad article...do people really live like this???
Samantha: How sad this is. This will just leave you feeling lonely in the end.
jhen: I am doing this right now. I have sex with em during my lunch or when get off of work n at middle of night n that's all I want
Aurora: I don't agree with most of these. Be upfront and late night calls, ok. I don't feel I need to be detached in order to have a fun sexual relationship. I'm not gonna try to be like someone else or be like the stereotypical guy just because I don't want to take things beyond the sexual level. Going on a date with him doesn't mean that I'm looking for a future with him either. I can still enjoy his company and conversation without thinking of us an item. And skip the lingerie??? Seriously??? Yeah I'm in it for my own pleasure, but it doesn't mean all the fun has to be taken out of it. It's not about me feeling like I have to impress him, but it's for the experience. Life is way too short to be dispassionate and cold. Also, chivalry is not dead. At least from my experiences, and the ones who don't practice it are last on my hookup list because there are so many who do practice it.
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge