Okay girls, I want to start off by telling you I am the Queen of Mind Games. I have devoted many years to perfecting the art of mind games, and they have worked very well for my friends and me... until recently. I found myself falling for a boy who could not be played by anything I threw at him. So come to find out there are men out there who just can't be gamed! If you are looking to be single, date, and have fun, then check out my article on how to pick up guys. But if you are looking for tips on how to start a relationship, these 7 ways to NOT play mind games with guys are going to help you get out of the over-thinking and into the non-thinking.
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1. Don't over Think Things
As girls, we tend to want to over-analyze everything. Any time we get a text or call we sit and ask every girl friend what he meant when he said whatever he said. A guy literally means what he says. There is no hidden code behind it. If you keep that in your mind when talking to your crush, it will help you be less crazy and more yourself.
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Any time we get a text or call we sit and ask every girl friend what he meant when he said whatever he said. A guy literally means what he says. There is no hidden code behind it. If you keep that in your mind when talking to your crush, it will help you be less crazy and more yourself. Additionally, don't obsess over every detail or try to decode his actions like a mystery novel. Trust in the simplicity of his words and focus on enjoying the moment. Being present and straightforward can actually make interactions smoother and more genuine.
2. Just do It
This sounds like a very common thing, yet for a lot of women it is something we find hard to do. If a guy wants to call you or text you, they will, and usually don't think twice about it. Girls sit and think we are gonna come off to clingy, bother him, or if we text him, he wins. Truth is there is no winning or losing when you aren't playing mind games. If you want to call or text a boy just do it. I'm not saying to blow up his phone so he can't pick it up with out it going off in his hands, but in moderation, a guy likes to see your name on his phone.
Frequently asked questions
Ah, mind games! It often comes from insecurity or the desire for control. People sometimes think it makes them seem more desirable or hard to get. The truth? It just complicates things and can be really confusing for everyone involved.
Look for inconsistent behavior – like he says he misses you but then disappears for days. Also, hot and cold treatment is a classic sign. If you're feeling more confusion than clarity, he might be playing games.
Communication is key. Try to talk about it openly and see how he responds. If he's evasive, that's a red flag. You deserve someone who values your time and feelings, so don't be afraid to set boundaries.
Honestly, it’s usually not a good idea. It can lead to a cycle of games and mistrust. You're better off being straightforward and surrounding yourself with people who respect that.
Be real and honest right from the start. If you like someone, show it. If you're not interested, be clear about it. There’s no point in pretending to be someone you’re not – the right person will appreciate you just as you are.
3. Take out the Rules
This is a really big one for me, girls, because I am the biggest stickler for following the rules when it comes to gaming a boy. Anything you think, like answering his question with a question, never text before 3 in the afternoon, make him be the last one to say something in a conversation, etc., needs to be thrown out the window. If you are looking to just date and flirt then by all means follow the rules, even make your own rules, but they will never work when wanting to be in an authentic relationship. Best advice here is to just stick to your gut!
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This is a really big one for me, girls, because I am the biggest stickler for following the rules when it comes to gaming a boy. Anything you think, like answering his question with a question, never text before 3 in the afternoon, make him be the last one to say something in a conversation, etc., needs to be thrown out the window. If you are looking to just date and flirt then by all means follow the rules, even make your own rules, but they will never work when wanting to be in an authentic relationship. Best advice here is to just stick to your gut! Authentic relationships require vulnerability and genuine interaction. Open up and show the real you. Playfulness is great, but not when it morphs into strategy. The right person will appreciate your honest efforts and feel more connected to you without those artificial barriers. Forget the strategies and create real moments together.
4. Be Honest about How You Feel
Ever hear the phrase honesty is the best policy? Well when it comes to not playing mind games with guys, this is your number priority. Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel or what you want. Again, I'm not saying to over do it by confessing your love to him after the second date, but don't keep him in the dark that you like him. If you hold yourself too far back he's going to get mad and just walk away. Take it from my experience. In the gaming world you never let him know he has you, but in a relationship, when you both are falling for each other it's important to share that knowledge no matter how scary or weird it is.
5. Yourself is Enough
A guy can pick up on you playing him right away. They have a keen sense of when a girl is screwing with their minds. Just be yourself, because that's when he will fall for you the hardest. Don't sit there and try to manipulate your poor dude. He will run out the door faster than you can blink. Just be yourself and trust that it's enough.
6. Go with Your Gut
When you aren't trying to play mind games with guys you're usually going off trusting your instincts. Underneath all the over-analyzing, questioning, and copious amounts of girl talk, there is this intuitive feeling inside you that knows the answer to all the questions you are asking. Always go with your gut. That will be your solution if you have any fears about using any of the other things listed in this article.
7. Let's Talk about Sex
Last but not least, let's have the birds and the bees talk. I always say to hold off on sexual things when you want the boy to stick around. The chase factor is extremely important, but when it comes to someone who likes you and wants to be with you more than one time, he isn't going to walk away just because he got your pants off. If you want to have sex with your crush on the first date, do it; if you want to wait till the tenth date then wait. What's important is that you aren't putting your sexual experiences on a timeline just because of some rules. If he really likes you he will stick around no matter when you guys get busy. Just remember to base your sexual experiences off your comfort level.
So girls, there you have 7 ways to not play mind games. These are here to help guide you into finding a relationship based on honesty instead of manipulation. I know how hard it can be to throw out all your hard work on coming up with some awesome mind games for boys, but when it comes to wanting more then just some fling give these ways a shot and see what happens. I know I definitely don't regret it!
Comments
Ryan: don't guys know everything like they could be on here right now
Anonymous: any thoughts?
Anonymous: @kileycoleman thanks! So I wasn't really looking for guys too much at school, but I noticed a guy started liking me in November/December. We had two classes together, and in both we sat near each other. Once we had a very small talk in a class. Every morning he would be in my locker room, ( his friend's locker was near mine) And he used to sit on or near my desk and sometimes i could feel him staring at me. :) And he came to my locker like that for a while, and twice he kind of nudged his shoulder on mine (subtely!) But we never really talked! He's an outgoing, athletic guy (with gorgeous blue eyes) So I was wondered why he didn't talk to me (im really not that scary!) And so in the second semester, he started doing these cute little things to show he liked me. Like he always stared at me in the halls, went to my locker room, held the door open for me, and picked up my folder for me when it exploded in class. Of course I started liking him back in January and officially it was in March. He always tried to get near me, especially in the locker room and in the one class we shared he would pause a little when he passed my desk. He's not the kind of guy that I would normally like, but I decided to just go with it. So I started staring at him back in the hallways, and I went to one of his sport's practice and a game. I love how subtle he was so none of my friends really noticed and honestly I didn't really want them to. i have to admit i kind of stalked him on online because i wanted to know who he was! i know thats a no-no but oh well. and i figured out his schedule.;) I thought about him all the time for months and I got those butterflies and everything. I really liked him back! So in April, it was the same thing. I smiled at him a couple times, but we never had a conversation. He stopped going to my locker, but everything else was the same. When we walked in the hallways and he knew i was behind him he turned around constantly and looked at me. so in early May, it was driving me crazy. I created a Facebook account just so I could talk to him. I finally sent a chat, hoping that we could talk and maybe hang out. He hasn't replied yet, which made me frustrated. In late May and June we still stared in the hallways and sometimes I saw him unexpectedly after school and it was exciting! I was way too shy to come up to him face-to-face, so that's why I created a facebook. The thing that gets me is that it wasn't like a two month crush. It was a little more than six months that this whole thing had been going on! :D See I would have thought that by May or June he would have taken a chance and just talked to me, but he didn't. Not even on the last day of school and it kind of hurt. I definitely don't want to be waiting for him or his reply all summer, so I've been thinking of just moving on? We each did subtle things that showed that we like each other, but neither of us actually admitted it. It's like a skinny love. He seems like a fun guy and I just don't want to stop liking him, and then come back to school and like him again. Help! should i move on? even though nothing serious ever happened. he doesnt turn the chat button on to show he is online but he does like posts, etc so he is logged on. I'm just confused because when he started liking me, isn't this what he wanted? For me to like him back? And now that I did it's like we are just stuck in the mud. Any advice? is he just playing games? i went with the advice of, "if you like/love someone, tell them" and know i just feel stupid.
snowliang: Awesome!! Your advice will definitely help. :)
Anonymous: hi kiley, i needed some advice. its not that big of a deal but i would love a second opinion. (its kind of a long story)
Ryan: Thanks so much
Dr-Roland: Nobody should have to chase anybody girl or guy.
Dr-Roland: Yes, like this guy.
Anonymous: *now*
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