So, the stereotype is that everyone who likes dick wants to sleep with someone with a big penis, yes? You hear it all the time. The belief is that if you're into guys, whether you're a guy or a girl yourself, you want someone with a very large unit. The idea, of course, is that it's impossible to be sexually satisfied with a small penis, and large disco sticks provide you with far more pleasure. Before I came out, I had the … ahem, the opportunity to have sex with a dude who had a huge unit. It was 'YUUUUGE, in fact. So, even though I am now a very happily married lesbian, let me shine some light on the subject. Here's what it's like when you meet a guy who's got a big ol' eggplant.
1 You Need to Find the Right Sexual Position
This is terribly important. Eventually, once your body is really ready (and used to all that length and/or girth), you may well be able to tackle any position imaginable, but the first time, keep it slow and steady. Err on the side of caution, even if it means missionary.
2 You've GOT to Relax
This is also very, very important. It may take a while, not to mention plenty of foreplay, but you need to be completely relaxed.
3 Be Very, Very Vocal
If something hurts or you're just not feeling it, you have to say so. Your vagina will thank you.
4 Be Confident in Bed
Not just that, but don't be afraid to take control – because, again, you may need to ease into (haha, or onto) this and it's important to relax.
5 If It's Too Big, Don't Force It
Seriously. It's not too late to back out. There are other things you can do to get each other off.
6 It Can Be Uncomfortable in the Beginning
It can be REALLY uncomfortable. You may need a lot of lube, otherwise, it can feel like using a super tampon when you don't really need one.
7 ...it Can Also Be Painful
See above. You need to be extra careful if you feel pain, too. Some pain is normal, but you don't want to damage or hurt yourself.
8 This is Why Communication is so, so Important
For real. You have to talk, you have to be honest, and you have to speak up.
9 You Will Feel Really Full
Like, you might feel like his penis is going to rip out of your belly button. It's not.
10 Lube It up Good
I'm serious, I cannot emphasize this point enough. Use it even if you don't typically need it.
11 Understand That You Might Not Be Able to Fit It All in
It happens. Do not force it.
12 Don't Forget to Foreplay
Stellar foreplay will make the whole thing go so much more smoothly – in more ways than one! The point is, you have to be aroused – you have to be very, very aroused.
13 He Needs to Go Slow
Make sure you repeat this as many times as necessary.
14 Don't Be Scared to Switch up the Position in the Middle
Once you get more comfortable, switching up your position can be absolutely mind blowing.
15 Keep an Open Mind
Don't be afraid of the penis. Don't be afraid to try new things.
16 … Which Means, Trying Things That You Might Not Be Comfortable with
You might even have to try a position you never thought you'd try.
17 Don't Penetrate until YOU Are Wet Enough
This deserves its own point. You have to be lubricated. You have to be. Under no circumstances should you proceed if you aren't wet.
Let's get nitty-gritty, down and dirty, totally honest. Have you ever slept with someone who has a large member? How'd it go?