There are plenty of signs your boyfriend is a pushover. When you first start dating someone, everything feels great because there is that spark of new romance that we find completely irresistible. However, there does come a point when that initial shine fades and you are left with assessing what your new partner is really like underneath the disguise of a hot new fling. There is plenty of different categories that he could fall in to, but one that you probably don’t want to encounter is a pushover. Some women like the power they have over a guy they can easily manipulate, but I like to think that most prefer a more equal paying field. Here are some of the tell-tale signs your boyfriend is a pushover.
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1. He Never Makes Decisions
He finds it impossible to make even the smallest of decisions. Things like what movie you are going to see or where you are going to have dinner make him flounder. It might be nice at the start to be able to make all the decisions, but after a while it kind of feels like you are ordering a toddler around like a parent! If he refuses to make a decision, that's one of the biggest signs your boyfriend is a pushover.
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It can be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is a pushover. A pushover is someone who allows other people to make decisions for them and who rarely stands up for themselves. This can be especially difficult if you are in a relationship with someone who never makes decisions.
Signs that your boyfriend is a pushover include never making decisions, allowing you to take control of the relationship, and not standing up for himself. He may also be easily persuaded and influenced by others, and may be hesitant to voice his own opinion or express his feelings. Additionally, he may be uncomfortable with confrontation and will avoid arguments or debates.
If your boyfriend is a pushover, it can be difficult to be in a relationship with him. He may be too passive and give in to your wishes too easily. He may also be unable to take responsibility for his own actions and decisions. This can lead to a lack of trust in the relationship and make it difficult to find compromise.
2. What do You Think?
He can’t voice a single opinion without first asking you how you feel about it. This might seem like a caring and considerate thing to do, but eventually you will start to see that he is asking you first so he can align his own opinion with yours. He never has an opinion of his own!
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At first, it feels like he’s attuned to your needs, but it’s unhealthy when you're constantly taking the lead. A relationship is about give and take, but when he’s always echoing your thoughts, you're just dating your own shadow. Isn’t it more exciting when your partner challenges you sometimes or brings a different perspective to the table? You should both be comfortable expressing yourselves independently, forging a bond that's built on genuine interaction, not just on one person’s views.
Frequently asked questions
It means he might be overly agreeable, letting others, including you, take charge of his time and decisions. He's probably prioritizing other people's needs over his own way too much.
If he rarely says 'no,' always compromises even when it hurts him, and doesn’t speak up for himself, these could be signs. You might also notice he avoids conflict at all costs.
First, talk to him gently but honestly. Encourage him to share his thoughts and stand up for himself. Also, try to create a more balanced, respectful dynamic in your relationship.
Because it can lead to resentment and imbalance. He might feel unappreciated or stressed, and you might lose respect for him over time. Healthy relationships need mutual respect.
Absolutely! With open communication, support, and perhaps some professional advice, he can learn to set boundaries and voice his needs more effectively.
3. Growing Resentment
You might start to notice that even though he is the one who is allowing you to make all the decisions, he might start to grow a little resentful of the dynamic. This is a tricky one because it’s his attitude that has led to this dynamic in the first place!
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This growing resentment can stem from a feeling of being taken advantage of or not having their needs and wants considered. It could also be a result of feeling emasculated or not being able to express their opinions and desires in the relationship. This dynamic can lead to a lack of communication and potential conflicts in the future. It is important for both partners to have a healthy balance of decision-making and compromise in order to maintain a strong and equal relationship. It may be helpful for the couple to have open and honest discussions about their roles and expectations in the relationship to avoid any resentment from building up.
4. "I’m Fine"
He never has a strong opinion of feeling about anything, to the extent that his go to response to any question in any environment is a simple "I’m fine", "yeah, this is ok", or other general acceptances. This can start to get a little robotic over time and you will become frustrated with his lack of emotion and engagement.
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You start to wonder whether he's genuinely content or just avoiding confrontation. With every nod and agreeable smile, you might notice an undercurrent of detachment. It may seem like he's merely floating through situations, never anchoring himself with his true thoughts or feelings. While it's certainly comforting to have a drama-free partner, there's a fine line between being flexible and being emotionally absent. Deep down, you might be yearning for those passionate debates or heartfelt conversations that never seem to happen, leaving you questioning the depths of your connection.
5. Passive Aggressive Outbursts
Being like this, so sedate for so long at a time, can lead to outbursts of passive aggressive tension that you don’t see coming. He might start to act "judgy" around your friends because they are different to him, or criticise the restaurants that you choose to go to, simply because he resents not being able to choose.
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Sometimes, these explosions are subtle—little digs slipped into seemingly normal conversations. You might ask about his day and be met with a snarky comment about how at least someone in the relationship gets to make decisions. These comments might seem minor on the surface, but they're rooted in deeper feelings of resentment. If he's feeling powerless in most of his life, these jabs could be his way of trying to regain control, even if it's just through his words. Be alert; this behavior is a telltale sign of bottled-up frustration that needs addressing.
6. You Initiate Everything
Some women love to be in control of their relationship in every aspect, but you know he’s a pushover when he can’t even work up the conviction to initiate a single date or surprise over the course of the entire relationship. There is being laid back, and then there is being a pushover to the extent that you are just a passenger.
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If you're always the one suggesting dinner spots, planning weekend getaways, and even just deciding what to watch on Netflix, alarm bells should ring. Relationships are a dance, meant for two, not a solo performance. Sure, it’s sweet that he's accommodating, but if it feels like you're dragging him through the stages of the relationship without any active participation from his side, it's time to question the dynamic. True partnerships thrive on give and take; if you're only giving, and he's only taking the back seat, this might be a sign of an unhealthy balance.
7. You Recognise a Pattern
Have you met his nearest and dearest friends and family yet? If so, did you notice a similar pattern in the way that he acts around them as he acts around you? People who are pushovers tend to just coast through life acting the same way around everyone, not rocking the boat to the extent that they simply aren’t active in their own lives, and that can be a really frustrating thing to have to live with.
Ultimately, dating a pushover might feel good and empowering at first, but you will soon realise that you are the only person who is invested in the relationship, and making every single decision can become very tiring, very quickly. You will want him to take the lead sometimes, but it’s just not in his nature to do so!
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