Losing your first love is no easy situation. I know, we’ve all probably had this happen to us, since it is rare most people end up marrying their first love. Losing your first love is not the end of the world, and there is a lot you can learn about losing that first special person in your life. Losing my first love was certainly not a walk in the park, but it taught me several things about myself and love in general that I think are important. Keep these tips below in mind if you’re struggling with losing your first love.
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1. You Are Still Worthy
Losing your first love can cause a lot of insecurity within, and it can make us want to shy away from relationships for a while. Remember that just because you lost your first love doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love. If the breakup was your fault and you feel a need to make amends, so be it. If it wasn’t your fault, however, remember that it doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy enough to have made the relationship work. You need to keep all this in mind so it doesn’t cause you to start believing lies about yourself, or what relationships you deserve to have in life.
2. People Change
This is one of the hardest things to learn about losing your first love. People just change - plain and simple. What we were a year ago, is not who we’ll be tomorrow. Life changes us, and sometimes that means we go in separate directions than we intended to, even in relationships. Just because you’re spending your time with someone doesn’t mean that you aren’t changing and they aren’t changing. Sometimes changes lead to breakups and sometimes not, but remember when losing a relationship, change is inevitable and will always be something you have to deal with.
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Losing your first love can be a difficult experience, but it can also be a learning opportunity. People change over time, and sometimes these changes can cause breakups in relationships. It's important to remember that change is inevitable, and it's important to accept and embrace it.
Breakups can be heartbreaking, but it's important to remember that it's part of life and it's important to take the time to reflect on the lessons learned. One of the most important lessons to remember is that it's ok to be vulnerable and allow yourself to love again. It's ok to open up to someone and trust them with your heart.
It's also important to remember to take responsibility for your actions. If things didn't work out, it's important to reflect on what went wrong and take responsibility for your part in it. It's ok to ask for help if you need it. Talking to a therapist or a trusted friend can help you to process your emotions and make sense of the situation.
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3. The Pain Does Subside
I know when you first lose your first love, you feel like the world is ending and you just can’t bear to move on. Nothing is right, and everything is bleak, depressing and stagnant. We’ve all been there, and I’m here to tell you that the world does keep turning and the pain does subside. Get a hobby, do more things with your great group of friends, make more new friends, and don’t lay around on the couch drowning your sorrows. The pain goes away much faster if you don’t!
4. It Makes You Independent
First loves are an amazing gift. I wouldn’t take mine for anything, but I also wouldn’t take the independence I gained afterwards for anything either. I wasn’t confident alone or as a person by myself before I lost my first love. He was so fun to be around, and such a good person in general that I often got lost in the role of his girlfriend, and forgot I had things inside of me that made me my own person. Losing someone makes you independent and it forces you to do things you might not have without someone. For me, that was taking up an interest in fitness for the first time in my life, and finally gaining some sense of self confidence outside of being a girlfriend. For you that might be taking on a new hobby, meeting new friends, or even going to college somewhere different than you planned.
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Losing your first love can be a difficult experience, but it can also be a valuable lesson. Although it may be hard to see now, there are many things you can learn from this experience. One of the most important lessons is gaining independence. When you are in a relationship, it is easy to become dependent on your partner for emotional and physical support. However, when that relationship ends, you are forced to find your own footing and become independent. This can be a difficult journey, but it can also be incredibly rewarding.
By becoming independent, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and your capabilities. This can help you to develop a stronger sense of self-confidence and self-worth. You can also use this newfound independence to explore new hobbies or interests. You may even decide to go to college somewhere different than you had originally planned.
In addition to gaining independence, losing your first love can also teach you about resilience and how to cope with difficult times. You can learn how to pick yourself up and keep going after a difficult experience. You can also learn how to manage your emotions and take care of yourself when times are tough.
5. It Gives You Time to Clear Your Head
Losing your first love unfortunately gives you more time to yourself and this isn’t good at first because we’re usually sad all the time. Yet, once the initial shock is over, we can start to really take some time to ourselves to allow us to focus and clear our heads. During this time, think about where you’d like to head from here, all the things you can do now that you don’t have someone else to consider, and even think about your future in new ways. Doing this can help you move on and even help the pain subside faster.
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Losing your first love can be a difficult experience, but it can also be an opportunity to learn and grow. Taking time to yourself can be an important part of the healing process. It can help give you the space to clear your head and reflect on the future. Thinking about what you want to do now that you don’t have to consider someone else can help you move on. Additionally, it can help you to become more self-aware and gain a better understanding of yourself and what you want.
In the process of healing, it’s also important to reach out for support. Talking to friends, family, or a therapist can help you to process your emotions and gain a new perspective. They can also provide a comforting presence and help you to feel less alone.
Another important part of moving on is to take care of yourself. This could mean eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. Taking care of your physical and mental health can help you to feel stronger and more resilient.
6. It Gives You Strength
Ugh, I hate this answer because everyone always says to me, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Have you ever heard that? When you’ve just lost someone, it’s the last thing you want to hear. Trust, me; I get it, but it's also a very true statement. Losing that first special person in my life made me strong in a way I didn’t want at first, but years later I was grateful. I dealt with many things later that would have broken me had I not known how to survive that first intense pain from losing my first love. Though I’m not grateful for pain, I am grateful for the strength it provided to me. Keep that in mind when you’re hurting from losing your first love. You’ll get a sense of strength you never would have asked for, but I promise, you wouldn’t take anything for it years down the road.
7. It Shows You What You Want
Losing your first love is a great way to show you what you really want in life. Maybe you want a relationship like the one you were in, but maybe you don’t. Maybe you want something different, someone different. Losing your first love, or any relationship for that matter, can show you what you really want out of life and love. That’s something we all need to know so we can make the best decisions for our lives in any situation.
If you’ve lost your first love, don’t give up hope on relationships. You may end up great friends later, or maybe not. Either way, losing your first love teaches us things. If you lost that first special someone in your life, what did you learn?
Comments
Winnie: #1 good message
Diana: My first love and I ended our 4 year relationship 1 year ago and I'm still sometimes not over it. I would sometimes just be alone and reminisce on the good times because I missed it. But after reading this I realized something. Although I loved him and sometimes I miss him, I don't want him back nor do I want someone like him back. When a relationship ends we tend to always think about the great times rather than thinks about those sleepless terrible nights your boyfriend would make you pass. I am sad that he is out of my life but I'm glad he is never coming back in.
i: i Still Have My First Love 3-18-10
Millz: i broke up with my first love and its almost a year since but i still feel so much pain like we just broke up yesterday...no day passes without thinking of him. it hurts so much that i wish i could let this pain go away. am praying to get a better man someday and let this harsh memory die.
Katie: The guy who I thought was my first love broke up with me the day after one of best friends was killed in a car crash. After he broke up with me I rethought our entire relationship and realized that maybe neither of us really cared. My first true love though was the guy I started dating at the end of my sophomore year in high school. When he asked me to a school dance I thought it would be fun to go with him as friends. After awhile we started going on more dates and we both fell in love with each other. When I was a senior in high school and he was starting college he gave me a promise ring. Once we both graduated college we got married and now have three beautiful kids.
Colleen: The most important thing I learned after losing my first love is that if I survived that pain, I could survive anything, and that everything passes eventually.
chexymai: I just recently lost my first love not even knowing that I would ever fall that deep in love. I was surprised and happy to have this feeling and when I recently lost him because of different city, schools, friends, etc. I really thought we could have stayed strong together, until he saw another girl that radiated more beauty than I and yes insecurity does kick in big time, but I am going to use this because it certainly helps. I mean no matter how much I am dying to get him back cause I wish for the best, I guess I will move on with my life and just learn from this. When I saw this article it made me laugh and smile cause this is exactly what I needed. I just hope one day we can just see each other again, be friends, and maybe if there is a slight chance of getting back together. I am going to be different, better, changed. I hope I learn from this and have faith for the future.
Hayaa: Great article! I can totally relate to this.
Teresa: My first love was my highschool sweetheart together for 8 years. He was my best friend and we had the best times together. Got along great together and his family was like my family, can't get any better then that, right? Nope wrong! Found my true love and soulmate after college, while working as a nurse at a hospital and he's a paramedic. What we had in two days of knowing each other was better then all 8 years I had with my first love. Sometimes you think you found the best and you can get so caught up in that. But life surprised me and showed me I was wrong what I thought was the best for me was only mediocre.
HM_HAYES: what if your first true love passed overseas a few years ago and you just cant let go?
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