If you, too, are looking for ways to cope with being away from your lover during the holidays, you have my sympathy. Due to a variety of circumstances keeping the Michigan clan from traveling to Salem for holidays, I offered to spend it with my folks so Heather could fly to MI – because that's much easier than driving there together with a hoard of fur-babies. Ain't I great? The idea of spending Thanksgiving apart is pretty heartbreaking, and we've promised it's the last holiday we'll ever spend away from each other, but it's for a good cause. Still, if you're in the same boat, why don't you soothe yourself with a few great ways to cope with being away from your lover?
Table of contents:
- don't hold onto resentment
- stop stressing the details
- talk when you can
- but don't be clingy
- look for distractions
- celebrate in your own way
- have an early/late holiday together
1 Don't Hold onto Resentment
Are you really okay with spending the holiday apart? Don't say you're okay if you're not, because it will just lead to fights during a time when you should be focusing on how much you love each other, even if you aren't together. Honesty is one of the only sure ways to cope with being away from your lover during such an important time. Don't keep making jabs and jibes at your partner about how he or she is abandoning you. Be honest about how you feel.
2 Stop Stressing the Details
You won't be able to talk to your partner every minute of every day you're apart. Don't sit at home wondering what your partner is doing, where he or she is, who's there, and so on. Don't think about whether or not your partner is talking to the sister-in-law you hate, or having fun without you. You'll drive yourself crazy and then end up throwing off a bunch of questions, which may sound accusatory, and that's just not necessary.
3 Talk when You Can
You can, however, talk when you're able. Set aside some time that works for both of you, or promise each other you'll check in when you can. Send some texts just to say “I love you” or “I miss you,” and set up some time to talk. Make it once a day, or once every two days. Talk on the phone, send instant messages, use Skype or FaceTime – just make sure that you're choosing mutually convenient times.
4 But Don't Be Clingy
Going back to point number 2, try not to be too clingy. Don't demand a detailed explanation of every day. Don't demand to talk every second of the day. If your partner can't call or text you back right away, don't sweat it. He or she is spending time with family, and so are you.
5 Look for Distractions
Still, it doesn't hurt to distract yourself. Spend that special time with your loved ones, whether you're with family or friends. Take advantage of your time off to do, well, anything you like. Go shopping, go on a picture taking jaunt (you can take photos to show your partner what your holiday was like), or indulge in your favorite craft.
6 Celebrate in Your Own Way
Don't neglect the people you're with just because you and your lover are momentarily apart. Make the most of the time you have with the people you love. If there are just a few people in attendance, you can create some new, smaller traditions. You may choose to do something entirely different from what you do with your lover over the holidays. It's entirely up to you – just have fun!
7 Have an Early/Late Holiday Together
Finally, because spending time with your partner is definitely important, you can choose to celebrate early or late. Heather and I intend to have an early holiday together, just so we get that special time. You can do the same thing before or after the official day, because remember, the emotions are much more important than the particular day.
I'll miss my princess lots, but I'm glad she'll have the opportunity to see her mom and dad over the holiday. It's a sacrifice, but when your lover's happiness means a lot to you, then you're glad to make it. Have you ever spent the holidays away from your special someone? Let us know why, and how you coped with the absence.
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